Go Home Castle
by SkySmoke
Summary: It starts with the first episode from season 3, when Castle comes back from the Hamptons. Then it takes on its own life. Beckett admits her feelings for Castle...both to him and to herself. This is my first fanfic. I am aware it prob isn't very good.
1. Chapter 1

"Castle, go home! Go back to your ex wife, your hamptons, your book parties, okay? I've got work to do."

Kate Beckett practically spat the words at Castle's face. Despite her all of her training, she knew her face hardly concealed her emotions, especially from the man in front of her who knew her better than he sometimes realized. She spun away from him and strode down the hallway. She wasn't sure where she was going, but it had to be away from him.

"What did I do?" He called out after her. She didn't turn around and Castle turned to Ryan and Esposito. They glared at him, then turned and walked away in the opposite direction from Beckett, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the precinct. Castle sighed, then hurried after Kate.

"Beckett, wait!"

"For what?" She called out, her voice thick from holding back tears.

"For me." Castle said softly. She stopped, but didn't turn to face him. Castle stopped a few feet behind her. They were alone in the hallway and he spoke quietly.

"Do you really want me to go home? If it's what you want, then I will go…but I just need to know if you really mean it."

She spun around to face him, her eyes flashing with anger. She gritted her teeth and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I don't know Castle, do you think I mean it? Do you think I would just be okay with you waltzing back in here and sitting a cup of coffee on my desk like you were just here yesterday? You've been gone all summer, you've been back in town, you have a book signing scheduled, and yet not one phone call? All summer not one phone call, and then you still don't call when you get back? And you thought it would be okay to just come back…"

Castle studied her face for a minute before responding. Her green eyes, though angry, looked like they were threatening to overflow with tears. It was a look he didn't see on her face often, and it surprised him. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. He had to fight to keep a smile off of his face as he realized just how much he had missed her. She really was beautiful when she was angry. She did everything she did with so much emotion, it was one of the many things that had drawn him to her.

"Well…we did agree that we would see each other in the fall. Technically, it is still fall…"

He knew instantly that his attempt to make her smile had been the wrong move. She tilted her head slightly and narrowed her eyes as she glared at him. Then, she went from looking like she wanted to kill him, to looking sad. She uncrossed her arms and ran one hand through her hair then looked down at the floor, sighed, and looked back up at him.

"Castle…just go home." She turned and stormed down the hallway.

"Beckett…wait! I just-"

He was cut off by her flinging her hand up over her shoulder in a "shut up" motion as she continued down the hall. He heard her go through the double doors into the autopsy room. He assumed to talk to Lanie. He mentally kicked himself for trying to use his usual humor to diffuse the situation when she was so obviously upset. He knew he couldn't follow her. Judging by how upset Ryan and Esposito were, he assumed Lanie would be no different, especially considering how upset Beckett was.

Defeated, he turned and walked back down the hallway. He passed Ryan and Esposito's desks as he left and neither of them even looked up at him. He walked to the elevator and turned to look at the room as he waited. He had come to think of this place as his second home, and considered the people here practically family. He shook his head sadly as he stepped into the elevator and watched the doors slide shut in front of him for what could possibly be the last time.


	2. Chapter 2

Lanie looked up over the body she was working on as Kate came storming through the swinging doors of the autopsy room. She was muttering something about stupid and inconsiderate.

"Want to share with the rest of us what you are muttering about?"

Kate looked up from her discussion with herself.

"No?"

"So, let me get this straight. You come storming through the doors of my exam room, obviously upset and rambling about stupid and inconsiderate and you think you're not going to tell me what's wrong?"

Kate's eyebrows furrowed together and she sighed; she knew she was beat and Lanie would make her talk, but she tried anyways.

"Yes?"

"Wrong answer. Sit, and spill it."

Kate huffed and pushed herself up onto one of the exam tables.

"I don't understand why he thinks he can just waltz back in here like….like its okay to just waltz back in here."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Castle. He just came strolling in here this morning and sat down next to my desk after he gave me coffee. Like he hasn't been gone all summer...in the Hamptons...with his ex wife. Like he hasn't been back in town scheduling book signings and not bothering to call."

"Did you call him this summer? Or when you knew he was back in town?"

Kate swung her feet off the edge of the table and looked down.

"Well...no. But that's not the point. I'm not the one who left all summer with my ex."

"Hm, but for all he knows you've been with Demming all summer."

"Yea, well, I haven't. That was probably one of the stupidest things I did."

"Hey, now, you don't mean that. You had...and still have judging by how upset you are...a reason to break things off with Demming. You need to let him know how you feel about him Kate...you can't expect him to wait forever. What did you tell him this morning?"

"To go home...back to his ex wife, Hamptons, and book parties..."

"Oh Kate, that was low."

"What? Why?"

"Didn't you see the paper last week? He isn't with Gina anymore."

Lanie went over to the counter and dug through a stack of newspapers. she found the one she was looking for and handed it to Kate.

MYSTERY NOVELIST RICHARD CASTLE IS BACK ON THE AVAILABLE BACHELOR LIST

Kate quickly scanned the article that told of how Richard and Gina announced they had split up again once he was back in town because he stated the relationship "wasn't what he was looking for right now."

Kate was surprised at the butterflies she got in her stomach when she read that they were no longer together. It had crushed her when Gina had come walking into their conversation at the end of summer right as she was going to tell Castle how she felt. She had ended her relationship with Tom over Castle, but it had been too late. At least that's what she had thought until now. She looked up from the paper at Lanie.

"I'd be willing to bet money that you had more to do with that break up than you think. You know he cares about you Kate, and anyone with eyes can see that you care about him. This is your second chance Kate, don't waste it."

"Lanie...I can't...I don't know..."

"Don't tell me you can't Beckett. You put serial killers in jail. I've seen you in that interrogation room taking on some of the most ruthless people on the planet, don't tell me you can't."

"That's different Lanie, and you know it."

"It is different, but I still don't want to hear that you can't. I'll listen to I'm scared, I'm nervous, or anything remotely like that. I wont listen to I can't, not from you Beckett."

Kate sighed. She knew what she needed to do, she just didn't know if she had the strength to do it. She was scared, and nervous, but despite what Lanie thought, she wasn't really sure if she actually could say how she felt. Hell, she wasn't even entirely sure that she knew how she felt.

"Thanks Lanie, I need to get back to work."

Kate slide down from the examination table and headed towards the door. Lanie spoke as she was opening the door to leave.

"Don't hide in a case Beckett, he may not be there the next time you look up."

Kate smiled softly at Lanie,

"I know Lanie, thanks."


	3. Chapter 3

She pushed through the doors and walked down the hallway. She ended up sitting in front of the murder board, staring at empty white space. She didn't hear Esposito come into the room behind her.

"Beckett? You do know that murder board is blank, right?"

"I know. I guess I'm just so used to thinking here that this is where I ended up when I needed to think."

"Any answers?"

"No, not yet. It's a lot easier to come up with answers when I've got my team behind me I guess."

"You do know we are your team even outside work, right? If you need anything, you just need to ask."

Kate smiled at his concern and realized that she needed to put her head back into work for the rest of the day.

"I know, thanks Esposito."

"That offer includes putting a certain authors picture up on that murder board..."

Kate laughed and shook her head at him as she walked past him towards her desk.

"I'm okay with my murder board being blank."

Kate busied herself with paperwork for the rest of the day and did her best to avoid everyone. She normally found herself staying at work late, and showing up early but today she just wanted to be alone with her thoughts. A few hours after Ryan and Esposito had left she rubbed her eyes and stood up to leave her desk. She had slipped her jacket on and was headed towards the elevator when she heard it ding. She stopped just past her desk and unconsciously her hand drifted towards her gun. It was unusual for anyone to be coming upstairs this late. Most people had gone home. The elevator doors slide open and Castle stepped out. He looked surprised to see her.

"Beckett...you're still here..."

"Yes Castle, I work here. You on the other hand, don't."

"I know...I came to leave something on your desk but...you're still here."

"Yea well, I was just leaving, so feel free to leave whatever it was. I won't get in your way."

She spoke harshly and started to walk past him. He reached out and put his hand on her arm as she passed, stopping her.

"Kate...can we talk?"

Kate stopped and looked at the ground. She wasn't ready to talk to him, not yet. She needed time to sort through her feelings and figure out how to put all of her jumbled thoughts and emotions into words. If she talked to him now, everything would come out wrong. She looked up at him and he immediately moved his hand off of her arm.

"We can Castle, but not right now, okay? I need to...think."

Castle looked relieved and sad at the same time.

"Okay, take all the time you need. Call me?"

"Yea...I'll call you."

Kate turned and walked to the elevator, leaving Castle standing by her desk. She held her composure until the doors slid shut in front of her. Then she leaned back against the wall of the elevator and ran her hand through her hair. She stepped out of the elevator and heard the doors slide shut behind her. She heard it start to go back up to the second floor and, assuming it would be Castle on his way back down, hurried out the door and to her car.

She got in and pulled out of the parking lot without any specific direction in mind. Now that she was off, she didn't really want go home. She drove to a local coffee house and sat at a table nursing a cup of coffee and thinking. She had come so close to telling Castle how she felt about him before he left for the Hamptons. Then Gina had walked up and she thought she was going to die. When Castle had showed up at the precinct that morning unannounced it had been too much for her to process. She didn't understand why he would be coming back if he was still with Gina. He had done enough research to write twenty more books. She never really made a point of saying anything about it because she had come to enjoy his company. She would never admit that to anyone; she would hardly admit it to herself for a while. Once she did admit it to herself that lead to the realization that somewhere in all their crazy moments together she had started to fall in love with him.

That realization scared her. It was Lanie that had convinced her to say something that night, and she ended up being too late. Then in the morgue, finding out he wasn't with Gina anymore had come as a huge shock. Part of her was happy, and part of her was scared again. If he wasn't with Gina anymore, there was no reason why she shouldn't make her feelings known, other than the fact that she didn't know if she was ready.

She tried to imagine working without him now that he had become such a fixture in the team. She had a hard time imagining solving murders with out his quirky insights, that were sometimes more right than he intended them to be. The memories of some of his outlandish theories made her smile. She didn't want to never see him again; but she knew she had to resolve the tension between them, and there was only one way to do that: tell him how she felt.


	4. Chapter 4

I may have things out of order here. I don't remember when "the heart wants what the heart wants" quote comes from...just go with it lol.

That being said, that quote comes from Castle. I do not claim it in any way.

When Kate got to work the next morning there was an envelope on her desk addressed simply "KB." Her hands shook slightly as she picked it up and opened it.

_**To the extraordinary KB; **_

_**I'm writing because it's what I do. I'm hoping this way the words come out better. Plus, this way you can't tell me to go home. I'm hoping you will at least read this. **_

_**I am sorry for not calling you this summer. It is a decision I have regretted numerous times. There were a few times when I picked up the phone and dialed your number, only to hang up before it even rang. I wasn't sure where I fit in your life anymore since your relationship with Tom. It seemed like you wanted to spend more time with him. He was starting to help you on cases and if that is what makes you happy, then I don't want to be in the way of that. I want you to be happy. **_

_**I want to thank you for the time you have let me spend with you. Becoming part of your world was nothing short of amazing. I defiantly got more than I bargained for in getting to know you. You bring an amazing amount of passion and compassion to your line of work. Every murder, every case is about so much more than just the numbers for you. You get behind the people and involved in the justice involved, not just closing another case. I have told you before, but it really is true; you are extraordinary. **_

_**When you told me to go home this morning I realized how much I missed you over the summer. I have done enough research to write numerous more Nikki Heat books. I'm sure you've realized that by now. I'm not going to lie to you Kate, it has become about so much more than the books now. If you have room for me in your life, I would love to stay part of it. If you don't, I will respect your decision and leave you alone. I just didn't want to leave things hanging between us and I wanted to let you know how I felt. If you do decide there isn't room for me in your life anymore, please know that I will never forget the time I spent with you and you will continue to be an inspiration, both in my writing and in my life. **_

_**Until next time, **_

_**Castle **_

Kate smiled as she read the letter and twirled her hair around her finger as she fought to hold back tears. She had been worried Castle wouldn't still have his obvious feelings for her after the summer with Gina. Reading his letter made the thought of telling him how she felt more bearable. She was still scared; scared of being hurt, scared of messing up the relationship, scared of loosing him. But, as Castle himself had put it, the heart wants what the heart wants, and her heart wanted him. That much she was sure of. She was reading the letter again when Lanie walked up.

"Well, what has you all smiles and sunshine this morning?"

Kate folded the letter in half and tucked it into one of the many folders on her desk.

"Nothing. Just in a good mood I guess, why?"

"Oh, I don't know, because when I walked up you were twirling your hair around your finger and smiling like a school girl. That is a far cry from the Kate that came storming into my exam room yesterday muttering."

Kate smiled and glanced around the room. It was still fairly early and no one was there yet.

"Castle came back last night as I was leaving, he said he was coming to leave something on my desk and asked if we could talk."

"Ohh, go on." Lanie smiled as she sat in the chair next to Beckett's desk.

"He asked if we could talk. I told him not then, but that I'd call him. He left what he was going to leave anyways. it's was a letter."

"Well, girl, what are you waiting for, what did it say?"

"Basically that him shadowing me has become about more than just the book research, and that he didn't call all summer because of Tom."

"See! I told you. Now, are you going to talk to him or do I have to tie you to a chair and force it out of you? I know how to hurt people ya know."

"No, I'm going to call him after work tonight so we can talk. As much as I'm scared to do it…"

"You'll be fine. He is as crazy about you as you are about him."

"But Lanie, what if-"

Kate was cut off as her phone rang. She sighed and flipped it open.

"Beckett."

Kate's face slowly changed as she listened to the phone call. By the time she hung up, she was almost in tears.

"What is it?"

"The found a body. A young red head girl found in a bathtub, it looks like suicide..."

"And...why do you look like you've seen a ghost."

"It's at Castle's building."

Kate answered quietly. She flipped her phone open and hit the button that dialed Castles number.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up."

She muttered as it rang.

"Kate, they would have told you if it was Alexis."

"It wasn't Ryan or Esposito, they are working on another case. This officer wouldn't have known."

"Castle." He answered on the ring before voicemail. Kate leaned against her desk with relief.

"Castle thank god. Where is Alexis?"

"In her bedroom...Beckett? What's wrong?"

"I just got a call about a body at your building...a young red head girl. They found her in the bathtub, it look like suicide and I just..."

"Thought it might be Alexis. She's just fine, I saw her five minutes ago. She was skipping through the living room chattering to her boyfriend on the phone."

"Good, I mean, its not that I think Alexis would do something like that...I just..."

"You care, and I thank you for that. Did you get my letter?"

Kate twisted a strand of hair around her finger and smiled.

"Yea, I did. I was going to call you tonight, after I got off, but then...look, I have to get to the crime scene.."

"Right, of course. You said it was in my building?"

"Yea..."

"Meet you there?"

Kate hesitated. They hadn't gotten a chance to talk about anything yet. But she would be lying to herself if she didn't admit she missed having him around. Castle noticed her hesitation.

"it's okay to say no..."

"Its just..."

"I know."

"See you there."

Kate smiled as she hung up the phone. It wasn't until Lanie spoke that she remember she had been standing there the whole time.

"Beckett...don't you avoid this by making everything seem back to normal and then sticking your head in the sand."

"I won't. I'm going to talk to him, I promise...its just that..."

"You miss having him around. I understand, we all do"

Kate smiled at Lanie as she headed towards the elevator.

"Thanks Lanie, I'll see you the crime scene."

"You just remember what I said girl!"


	5. Chapter 5

Some people might consider this chapter a little disturbing. I don't claim to be an expert on anything I write. If I get something wrong about the crime scene or warning signs of suicide, I apologize. Just roll with it, its a story. ;) If you've read everything so far, I thank you for reading :D

Castle was waiting at the front door of the crime scene with his customary cup of coffee. Beckett was surprised to find herself blushing as she took the cup he held out to her.

"Hey Castle."

"Morning. So, what do we know so far?"

"Female. 16 years old, looks like suicide though I haven't talked to Lanie or seen it yet."

"Any name?"

"Victoria Harding. The family just moved here last week. The parents are on a cruise to the Bahamas. Victoria stayed behind because of school and was being checked in on by a few family friends, but no one was staying here with her."

"No one noticed anything weird in her behavior?"

"Unfortunately there isn't always anything to notice. People who are serious about committing suicide don't always display the classic warning signs. They don't want anyone to catch on to what they are about to do and stop them. Actually sometimes it is the opposite, the person will appear unusually happy and seem to have a lot going for them."

As they discussed the case Beckett was thankful that Castle had just jumped back into the swing of things without making a big deal out of the events of the past night. They walked through the loft and stopped just before entering the bathroom. Beckett paused and turned to Castle.

"Are you sure you want to see this one? Kids are especially hard, but...she is Alexis's age..."

"I'm sure. I'll be okay. This is your reality every day..."

"This is my job Castle, it's what I chose to do."

"And I chose to shadow you, not just for the rush of solving the case and catching the bad guy...but for the whole journey. The good, the bad, the disturbing. Besides, it has to be easier not to do it alone..."

Kate smiled softly at him and put her hand on his arm.

"It is...but no one will think any less of you if you need to turn around and leave, understood?"

"Yes."

Beckett nodded at him, took a deep breathe, and walked into the bathroom. Every crime scene was horrible, but kids were especially tragic. The young girl lay in the bathtub fully clothed. The water covered half way up her chest. Her eyes were closed and her long red hair floated in the water around her shoulders. Both of her arms were in the water, a razor blade lay on the edge of the bathtub and the water had been dyed a horrible shade of crimson red.

Lanie was standing next to the bathtub making notes in her folder.

"Why is she fully clothed?" Castle asked quietly.

"Modesty. She was probably a shy, self conscious girl who would never have wanted to have been found naked."

"But...bathing fully clothed? Why not just do it somewhere else?"

"You bleed out faster in the water."

Castle noticed a hint of hardening in Beckett's voice and saw the look on her face she got when she was trying to walk that fine line between keeping herself open enough to the emotional aspect of a case to do what needed to be done, and loosing herself in it. It was a struggle he watched her have on some level with every case. She stayed close enough to the cases emotionally to stay passionate about them. Cases never became a numbers game to her. They were always about the people involved and uncovering the truth, and hopefully providing some closure along the way.

"Time of death?" She asked Lanie.

It will be hard to tell until I get her back to the lab, but I'm guessing she's been here for as few hours. The water is room temperature, but not cold yet."

"Who found her?"

"The maid service. They said the usual weekly cleaning had been moved from yesterday to today. The maid is out in the hallway still with Ryan and Esposito."

At the mention of the maid service both Castle and Beckett started looking around the bathroom. Castle was the first to speak.

"Its immaculate in here."

"Why would a teenage girl keep the bathroom so clean? If the maid service hasn't been here since last week, and her parents aren't home…"

"This place should be a disaster." Castle finished Beckett's sentence, the way he often did. Lanie looked at Beckett out of the corner of her eye and smiled.

"Nice to have you back Castle."

"It's nice to be back Lanie, I've missed my murder fix…among other things." He added quietly, smiling at Beckett. She glared at him, but didn't comment. She was too busy looking at the wet rug in front of the bathtub.

"Lanie? Does she have shoes on?"

"No, she doesn't."

"Hmm. There are shoe prints on this rug. Make sure we get a photo of those, see if someone can make an impression of them. I doubt it, but it won't hurt to try. Those were made when the rug was wet, which means someone else was in here."

"The maid?" Castle asked, coming to stand beside Beckett.

"No, these look to big to be a woman's shoe print."

"And how do you know the maid was a woman? Are you being sexist and just assuming that men can't be maids because we are all pigs?"

Beckett stood up from where she had been crouching next to the rug and was inches away from Castle's face, her gaze unblinking.

"I don't base my opinion of the entire male sex just based on what I think of you, Castle. I stick with the facts. I saw her sitting in the hallway when we walked in."

"Oh…right…."

Beckett held his gaze a moment longer, a smile playing softly on the edge of her lips. It took all of Castle's self control not to reach out and push her hair behind her ear. She broke their gaze and moved past him, out the door of the bathroom.

"Wait, where are we going?" He called after her. As he turned to follow her he heard Lanie softly laugh in the background.

"Her bedroom, I want to look around."

Castle followed Beckett down the hallway towards a door at the end. As she walked she pulled latex gloves onto her hands. Castle followed suit and did the same. He had learned to always keep at least one pair in his pockets. Beckett opened the door and walked into the room.

It, like the bathroom, was spotlessly clean. The bed was made, the pillows were arranged, as well as a few stuffed animals. There was nothing on the floor or strewn anywhere else around the room. The carpet even looked freshly vacuumed.

"Weird." Castle said quietly.

"Yea, it is weird. Why would her room be this clean? The bed is even made. Does Alexis ever keep her room this clean?"

"Rarely. I have a hard time believing any teenager would keep both the bathroom and their room this clean with their parents being out of town."

"Me too. I'm going to have CSU sweep this place for prints or anything else." She muttered, more to herself than to him. He was used to it. She was very focused when she was working.

She walked over to the bed and crouched down next to it, running her hands under the mattress. She looked slightly disappointed when there was nothing there. She opened the nightstand drawer and rummaged though it, then felt the bottom of it.

"What are you looking for?"

"A diary. I was hoping to get a feeling for who she was from her. And maybe get a look at how she had been feeling recently."

"You really think it would have been under the mattress? Isn't that kind of…cliché?"

"I'm sorry, did you have a better idea as to where a teenage girl would hide her diary?"

"Well, if it were me, it wouldn't be somewhere so obvious."

"So, you keep a diary?"

"No, I write novels. I'm just saying, it seems like under the mattress would be the first place most people would look."

"It is the first place people look for a reason…it's the most common place to hide one."

Castle glanced around the room. It looked like a typical teenage girl's room. The walls had some framed pictures of friends, a few posters. The book shelves were lined with vampire love stories and DVD cases from the most recent chick flick movies. Beckett was looking through dresser drawers, but Castle attention kept being drawn back to the bookshelf, though he wasn't sure why. Then it dawned on him.

"Beckett, come here." He said, stepping closer to the bookshelf.

"Yes?"

"Look at her books."

Beckett glanced at the book titles.

"What about them Castle? None of yours are there and you're feelings are hurt?"

"Actually, I hadn't noticed. But I'm glad I can always count on you to be a fan girl."

Beckett bit her bottom lip and rolled her eyes, knowing full well she had walked in to that one. Castle didn't notice and kept talking.

"All paperbacks, every single one of them, except that one." He said pointing to a fairly large hard cover book.

"So?"

"So why have one hardcover in a sea of paperbacks? You read a lot, you know how it is if you are used to reading one kind, the other just doesn't feel right."

Castle reached out and pulled the book off of the shelf and opened it. The first few pages were fine, but then the enter middle section of the book had been cut out. The cavity it left was empty, but looked roughly the size of a journal. Castle smiled at Beckett.

"Looks like we found where she kept her diary."

"Someone else found where she kept it before we did, and didn't want anyone knowing what was inside."

"Or, she moved it so someone didn't find it."

"Well, unless we find it, we'll have to assume someone else has it. I'll have Ryan and Esposito search the rest of the room. I'm going to go back to talk to Lanie and then go about contact her parents. I prefer not to break news like this over the phone, we'll see if we can get them off of that cruise ship."

Beckett spoke quickly as she headed back to the bathroom where Lanie was still making notes and photographs were being taken. Lanie came to the door.

"What do you think Lanie? Suicide?"

"My gut says no, but I won't know for sure until I get her out of that bathtub. I have to wait for the photographer gets done and then we'll go about moving her."

"Alright, I'm going to talk to Ryan and Esposito then head back to the 12th. Call me when you know something."

Lanie nodded and Beckett turned to walk out to the hallway to talk to Ryan and Esposito. Castle turned to follow her but Lanie grabbed his arm. He stopped and looked at her, puzzled.

"Yes?"

"Look Castle, I'm happy to have you back, but I'm telling you right now, if you hurt Kate…things could get ugly."

"Hurt her?"

"I know there is something going on between the two of you. I think its great, if you're in it for real. Don't play games with her Castle."

A look of realization crossed over Castle's face, followed by a smile. He shook his head no.

"You don't have to worry Lanie, its not a game to me."

"Alright, I just wanted to make sure."

"You're a good friend Lanie, she's lucky to have you."

Lanie smiled and swooshed him away with her hand as she went back to work. Castle smiled to himself as he went to find Beckett. He figured the fact that she had mentioned her feelings for him to Lanie was a good sign.


	6. Chapter 6

He found her in the hallway comparing notes with Ryan and Esposito. He walked up behind Beckett and Ryan and Esposito looked up. Ryan smiled; Esposito glared.

"Castle! Welcome back, we-" Ryan was cut off by a sharp jab in the ribs from Esposito's elbow.

"Thanks Ryan. Hello Esposito." Castle said with a smile as he moved to stand next to Beckett. Esposito didn't say anything, just followed Castle with his eyes.

"Beckett?" He asked in a low tone.

"It's alright Esposito, things are okay between us. I would have shot him already if they weren't."

"Alright, then…welcome back Castle."

"Thanks. And I admire your loyalty. I would have expected nothing less from you."

"Can you guys fill him in? I want to talk to the maid myself for a second before we leave."

Beckett was walking away before she finished her sentence. She did have a few more questions to ask the maid, but it was mostly to get away from Castle before she lost it laughing. Ryan and Esposito had been protective over her since they had first started working together. She thought it was cute, even though most of the time she didn't really need their protection, it was charming anyhow.

"So, what did the maid have to say?" Castle asked.

"Before we even talk about the maid, lets talk about you and Beckett." Esposito said coldly.

"Oh geez, not you guys too. I just got this from Lanie."

"Good. Then you know we're all serious. She broke up with Demming for you and then you're ex wife comes skipping in and you guys are off to the Hampton's. Those first few weeks after you left were hard for her. Really hard. And for you to just come back after the entire summer of not calling…that wasn't cool."

"She broke up with Demming before I left?" Castle asked, making no effort to keep the shock off of his face.

"You didn't know?" Ryan asked.

"No…I had no idea. Oh geez…that's what she wanted to talk to me about that night…god I'm stupid."

"Yes, you are. And if you hurt her…"

"I know, I know. I've been told. Hurting her is not my intention, okay?"

Ryan and Esposito nodded together and the mood seemed to lighten since they had gotten that off their chest. Castle was glad. He hated having them upset with him. They filled him in on what the maid had said. Basically, she had gotten the phone call postponing the cleaning. She arrived today at her usual time of 8:30am. She knocked on the door, there was no answer which wasn't unusual. The family wasn't home most of the times when she came, the knock was just a courtesy.

She had gone in the house and set down her supplies then headed to the bathroom; the room she always did first. That's when she found Victoria in the bathtub. She checked for a pulse because of her first aid training, then called 911. She had worked for the family for ten years and was very upset by the whole situation.

Ryan and Esposito were finishing their conversation with Castle as Beckett walked up.

"You ready?"

"Whenever you are."

"Great, we'll see you guys back at the station then."

Beckett and Castle climbed in her car and she started to fill him in on what she asked the maid.

"So, get this, the maid says from what she knows of the girl she doesn't believe she would have killed her self. She said she was a smart girl and was almost always in a pleasant mood. She also mentioned that the parents divorced about five years ago and the mom has had a new boyfriend for the past 6 or 8 months and…what?"

Beckett glanced over at Castle and noticed he was watching her, a coy smile on his lips.

"Nothing. Just realizing how much I missed you over summer."

Beckett took a deep breath and focused her stare out the windshield of the car. She tightened her grip on the steering wheel and swallowed. She hated it when his comments like that caught her off guard. She hated it even more that this particular one gave her butterflies and made her want to smile and giggle like a teenager.

"Castle, focus."

"Oh, I am, believe me."

She ran her hand through her hair and rested it on the gearshift of the car.

"On the case, Castle. Focus on the case."

"But that's not nearly as much fun."

He moved his hand over hers and laced his fingers between hers. She nearly jumped at his touch, but made no moved to pull her hand away.

"Castle…this has to wait until later. I have to focus on work." She said quietly, not wanting him to think she was mad.

He smiled and brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her palm softly before letting go.

"Okay. So, what were you telling me about the maid?"

Beckett put her hand back on the steering wheel; partly to keep him from holding it again, and partly to keep herself from looking at her palm. She knew there was nothing to see, but she could feel where his lips had brushed against it, and it would be almost impossible not to look at it if she didn't have something else to do. She was about to fill him in on the rest of her conversation with the maid when the phone rang. She flipped it open quickly, thankful for the distraction.

"Beckett."

Castle watched her face as she listened to the conversation on the other end of the line. He could tell by the look on her face that it was something about the girls parents. She was always the one on all the cases to advise family members of deaths, or to be the first one to speak with them if they were the ones who found the body. He didn't understand how she did it.

"Alright, thanks. Yea, we'll be back soon."

She snapped her phone closed and sighed, then stared blankly out of the windshield. Castle was quiet for a minute, letting her think. He curbed his desire to reach for her hand and comfort her. It was times like this when he wished she would let him hold her. He would give anything to help her with the pain the cases so obviously brought her. He knew she loved her job, and was very passionate about it. He also knew it took more of a toll on her emotionally then she would ever let on.

"That was Esposito." She said quietly, her voice almost monotone. "They were able to get a hold of Victoria's parents. It turns out it's the mom and the new boyfriend that are on the cruise. They are being flown in by helicopter. No one has told them what happened."

"Will it be you that tells them?"

"Yea."

"How do you do it?"

"As gently as I can. As truthfully as I can."

"No…not that. I mean how do you do it? I can see that it hurts you…how do you let that go?"

She turned to look at him, a mixture of shock and sympathy on her face. It wasn't a look Castle had seen before and he wasn't sure how to take it. She studied him for a minute, then half smiled. It was a sad smile; the kind of smile you give people at funerals because you aren't really sure what else to do. She was surprised at his question. She had plenty of people ask her how she broke the news to families that their loved ones not only were dead, but had been murdered. Not once had anyone asked her how she dealt with it.

"It's my job Castle."

He tilted his head sideways slightly.

"After all this time, you expect me to take that as an answer?"

She hesitated. She wasn't sure she wanted to share this much of herself with him. She had built walls to protect herself and he had already managed to work his way though enough of them on his own, almost without her realizing it. That scared her enough, but to willingly let him past some of them was a completely different story.

"It's the truth."

"I know. But I also know there is more to it than that."

"I take a small comfort in the fact that they are hearing it from someone who honestly cares. It doesn't mean much, but its what I can offer. It does hurt, and it is hard, especially in the really senseless cases, like this one. Whatever happened to that girl…she didn't deserve it…no kid does. These are the hardest, but its something that has to be done. Honestly, I would rather it be me than anyone else. The greatest comfort comes from solving the case. The truth is an incredible healing tool. I won't lie and say that sometimes I don't go home and cry; there are some cases that just get to you, no matter how hard to try not to let them. But for the most part…being able to find the truth is what helps the most."

"Thanks."

"Thanks?"

"Yes. I know its not easy for you to share the emotional side of yourself…so thank you…for the truth."

It wasn't the reaction she had been expecting. Castle almost always countered every statement with another question or a witty comment.

"You're…welcome."

She reached forward and adjusted the air conditioner. More for something to do than because she was cold. She dropped her hand back down to the gearshift of the car and Castle reached over and put his hand on hers. She cocked her head sideways and raised her eyebrow at him, half glaring, trying not to smile. He raised both eyebrows back at her and she shook her head softly, but made no move to pull her hand away until they pulled into the parking lot at the precinct.


	7. Chapter 7

Again, I have tweaked the timeline to fit the story. I know this isn't the first time Castle has been with Beckett when she talks to family members.

Kate sat in the small conference room waiting for Victoria's parents. It was the first time she was allowing Castle to sit in when she spoke with a family regarding the death of a loved one. He had practically begged her to let him sit in, even promising not to say a single word. she finally gave in. she wouldn't admit it, but part of her wanted him there. She took several deep breaths to steady her nerves. Finding that place between compassionate and distant was tough sometimes. It was her job, not only to inform them of Victoria's death, but also to be on the lookout for anything unusual in the way they reacted. She also needed to ask the important questions, before grief and anger got in the way of factual memory.

She fought the urge to get up and pace. The family would be there soon and pacing made it look like she was impatient to get the whole thing over with.

"Are you okay?" Castle asked quietly from his seat in a corner chair.

"You promised not to speak."

"That starts when the family gets in here..."

"Castle...I've done a ton of these without you, before you, and I've been just fine."

"Just because you've done something alone before, doesn't mean it always has to be that way."

Kate softened a little, remembering the first time she had sat in on one of these conferences, and the first time she had broke the news herself. It had been terrifying.

"I know you're worried about me...but I'm okay. If it makes you feel any better, I'm glad you're here. If you tell anyone I said that, no one will find your body."

"Said what?"

Kate smiled and was about to respond when Ryan opened the door with Victoria's mother and her boyfriend close behind. The mother didn't waste any time for introductions but came charging into the room.

"I demand to know what is going on here! Where is my daughter?"

"Ms Harding, I'm detective Kate Beckett-"

"I don't give a damn if you are mother Theresa, where the hell is my daughter?"

"Ms Harding, please...sit down."

Kate met the woman's furious brown eyes with a quiet stare, her face expressionless. She held the detective's gaze for a minute before sinking into the chair behind her. Her boyfriend sat next to her, taking her hand in his. Kate sat in the chair across from them.

"Ms Harding, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but we found your daughter dead in the bathtub at your home this morning. It looks like it was suicide, but we are still looking into it."

As her words sank in Kate watched expressions run across the woman's face in a pattern she knew all too well. First was shock, then denial, then outrage, and finally anguish. Tears started slowing running down her face.

"Are you...serious?"

Kate nodded slowly.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Ms Harding..."

"Mrs. Fielding…I…we got married on the cruise…"

Kate shifted her eyes quickly to Castle, who raised his eyebrows but said nothing. The woman started speaking again, quietly, while holding her new husbands hand.

"Tori didn't even know. We…wanted to keep it quiet until we got home. It's why we had just moved. The building we moved to more of a halfway point to both of our jobs and with the baby on the way…"

"You're pregnant?" Beckett asked quietly. Victoria's mother nodded slowly.

"She didn't know about that either. I figured I would sit her down and tell her everything after the cruise, I always figured there would be plenty of time…"

"Of course, you couldn't have know. I know this is a horrible time, but I have to ask you a few questions."

"Of course…"

"Can you think of a reason that Victoria would have wanted to kill herself?"

"No! Absolutely not. There…it has to be something else. She never would have done that. Ever."

"And we are looking into that possibility now, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't ask. I'm going to need a list of the people who were checking in on Victoria. I'll need to talk to all of them."

"Of course, anything I can do to help…" She broke off quietly sobbing and Kate looked away while she regained her composure. After taking a few deep breaths she spoke again.

"Anything I can do to help. I promise you detective, my daughter did not kill herself. Someone…hurt her."

"If that ends up being the case Ms. - Mrs. Fielding, I promise you I will do everything in my power to catch whoever it was."

"Amber. Please, call me Amber. This is my husband, Tony."

Kate nodded towards the husband, who had been unusually quiet. His only support to his new wife was to hold her hand and occasionally stroke her hair or shoulder.

"Tony…what was your relationship with Victoria like?"

"We…um…weren't very close. She was quiet and didn't really talk to me very much. We never fought, but she made it pretty clear that she didn't want to bond with me as a father figure. I tried to just give her space, ya know?"

"So you weren't very close to her, but you married her mother. Didn't you worry that maybe that might cause problems?"

"At first, yes. But Amber told me she had discussed the possibility of us getting married with Tori and she didn't care."

Kate shifted her gaze to Amber, who was nodding as Tony spoke.

"I did. I mentioned it to her about a month before the cruise. I told her that if Tony ever proposed I would want to say yes. I asked her what she thought."

"And what did she say?"

"She said she didn't care. If he made me happy that was all that mattered…" Amber again broke into sobs and Kate decided she had dealt with enough questioning for now. There would always be tomorrow.

"Thank you for your time Amber, and again, I am so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you Detective. I will get you a list before we leave. Oh my god, has anyone told her father?"

"No, we haven't. We originally thought he was on the cruise with you…"

"I'll have to call him, he will be devastated…"

Kate signaled to Ryan through the window and he came in the room and escorted the couple out. Their next stop would be the morgue to identify the body. Kate rarely went along for that part. As soon as the door closed to the conference room Kate sank into the chair next to Castle and sighed heavily. True to his promise Castle hadn't said a word. He waited until Beckett spoke first.

"Well, that part is done. The mom seemed pretty sure she wouldn't have killed herself. We'll have to wait for Lanie to confirm that."

"Was it just me, or did the new husband not seem very upset?"

"I thought the same thing. But…he wasn't very close to her. He probably wasn't really sure how to respond. But yes, I'll keep that in mind."

"Now what?"

"We wait until we hear from Lanie. If its not suicide, then we start looking for suspects. If it is, then case closed."


	8. Chapter 8

Again, I feel the need to state I am not an expert. If I made mistakes, they are my own. Roll with it ;)

Beckett walked through the swinging doors to the morgue with Castle close behind her. Lanie was standing by Victoria's body.

"So, it wasn't suicide."

Beckett sighed. It wasn't that she had been hoping for suicide, it just sickened her to think that someone would kill a child.

"How do you know?"

"Well, there is this. Come over here."

Beckett and Castle walked over to the table as Lanie picked up one of Victoria's wrists, showing the cut from the razor blade.

"Typically in a suicide, there are hesitation marks. Cuts that are lighter, not as deep, where they are having second thoughts. Then there is the deeper, life threatening cut. Also, typically one cut is deeper and stronger than the other. A right handed person will cut their left wrist first, and vice versa. When they switch hands to cut the other wrist, the hand they already cut is not as strong, resulting in a more shallow cut the second time. There are no hesitation marks on her wrists, just one clean, deep cut on each arm. Both cuts are also fairly even as far as depth is concerned."

"Couldn't that just mean that she was really sure about killing herself?" Castle asked.

"It could, but this, combined with the toxicology results don't."

"What did you find?" Beckett asked.

"There were large amounts of Benzodiazepines, specifically Rohypnol, in her blood."

"The date rape drug?" Castle and Beckett asked together. Lanie smiled.

"It's so cute when you guys do that. Yes, the date rape drug. Enough to keep her out for hours. She was out cold when someone put her in that bathtub and slit her wrists."

"Any signs of struggle?"

"No, none."

"That means she knew whoever it was. Thanks Lanie."

Castle followed Beckett back out of the morgue.

"So…whoever killed her obviously cared about her too." He said quietly. Beckett stopped and turned towards him.

"Cared about her? What makes you say that? They drugged her, put her in a bathtub, slit her wrists and let her bleed to death…how is that caring about someone?"

"Well…its just that…when I asked you why she would be fully clothed, you said she was probably modest and wouldn't want to be found naked. Now that we know it wasn't her that killed herself, I would assume the killer felt the same way? And wouldn't want her to be found that way? That and…they drugged her first. Lanie said she had enough drugs in her system to keep her out for hours. They didn't want her to struggle, but maybe they also didn't want her to feel any pain. Think about it, they could have just strangled her, or stabbed her, or did any other numerous horrible things to her…but they didn't."

Becket blinked at him. He had a point, though she would never come out and admit that to him. She made a mental note to start questioning those people closest to the girl first. She spun around and started walking back out towards the bullpen. Castle hesitated, then followed.

"Am I right?"

"I don't know Castle, I haven't figured out who killed her yet?"

"But obviously I have a point or you would have said that I didn't."

Beckett rolled her eyes and walked toward Ryan and Esposito's desk.

"Ryan, make sure I get that list of people who were checking in on her from the mom. I also want the fathers contact info. I want to know where they lived before they moved too. Try finding the girls cell phone. All teenagers have one. Find out from the mother if she had one, and where it is."

"On it."

"Esposito. I want a list of all the girls friends. There was a laptop in her room, go though that. I want emails, web sites visited, blogs, anything of interest. I need to find out who this girl was and why someone would want her dead. Find out if there is a boyfriend, or an ex boyfriend. Someone find out where she was last night too."

"Got it."

Ryan and Esposito left their desks to work on their assigned tasks. Beckett headed to the murder board to start her time line. Castle leaned against one of the tables and watched her work. About 30 minutes later she turned to face him.

"Road trip?"

"Sure, where to?"

"Back to the crime scene. I want to look through her room again, just to make sure I didn't miss anything."

"Alright, lets go."

Back at the crime scene Beckett stood in the middle of Victoria's room and just waited. It was often in her second visit to a crime scene when she found the most useful evidence. The first time emotions ran high, the whole team was there, it was busy and stressful. The second time it was just her and the evidence. It was easier for her to clear her mind and be open to things that could have been missed the first time through. Castle stood leaning against the door frame, staying out of her way.

"Any thoughts?" She asked quietly.

"Other than this room is way too clean to belong to a teenage girl, no."

Beckett looked around some more, then moved to the closet. Opening the door she found what looked much more typical of a teenager. Clothes were all over the floor, along with a backpack, some other random bag, about a half a dozen pairs of shoes, and various sheets of paper. Beckett picked up the backpack and carried it over to the desk. She opened it and ruffled through the contents: folders for classes, a few text books, the latest copy of Teen magazine, and a few journals. She picked up one of the journals and flipped though the pages.

"A letter book."

"Letter book?"

"Yea, girls usually keep them between close friends. Instead of writing notes on pieces of paper they write back and forth in a journal. Its easier, and it gives you something to look back and laugh at six months later. It looks like she kept a few. One with a girl named Haven, one with a girl named Sydney, and one with a guy named Trevor."

"Boyfriend?'

"Maybe. I won't know until we read though them."

They spent another ten minutes in the bedroom but didn't find anything else useful. They made their way back to the bathroom and Beckett went through the medicine cabinet. She picked up a prescription bottle with the mothers name on it and handed it to Castle. He read the label out loud.

"Clomid? What is Clomid?"

"A fertility drug. It usually causes the release of more than one egg per ovulation cycle."

"Well…she did say she was pregnant."

"Looks like she has been trying for a while. The date on that bottle is from seven months ago."

"That's weird. You'd think she would have gotten rid of them…or ended up using them all before now."

"Yea, you'd think."

They combed the rest of the bathroom and came up with nothing new.

"Alright. Back to the precinct. We'll see where we are on that list from the mom. Maybe Ryan and Esposito have something new. And we'll get to reading these books."

"Sounds like a fun filled afternoon."


	9. Chapter 9

Later that night Beckett and Castle were the last people left at the precinct. Victoria's laptop had been wiped clean, back to original factory settings, by someone who knew what they were doing. The tech team was working on retrieving the information, but it would take a while. The mom confirmed that Victoria did have a cell phone, but she had no idea where it was. They ran the number, but the phone was shut off. There was no way to track it.

The ran background checks on everyone who had been checking in on Victoria, but everyone had come up clean. Beckett planned on interviewing them the next day. The mom also confirmed that the letter books were between Victoria's two best friends and her boyfriend. The recent move had not made her change schools and she had known the kids since grade school. Something else Beckett planned on checking into the next day.

Victoria's father was a fertility doctor and had left for a conference in California that afternoon. His cell phone was shut off, which, according to his office, was normal during a conference. They had emailed him, but warned he often didn't check that either. He wasn't due back in town for a few days.

By the time they had all of their information together it was too late in the day to talk to people. Beckett had told everyone to go home, but she stayed behind, re reading the letter books again, and going over the files of everyone who had a connection to Victoria. Castle kept her company and kept her supplied with coffee. They had ordered Chinese food and ate at the table in front of the murder board. Beckett was standing in front of the board, one arm crossed in front of her supporting the elbow of the other arm, her hand on her chin, lightly gnawing on the edge of her index finger as she thought. Castle glanced at his watch; it was after 11pm.

"Hey, its after 11. I know how bad you want to solve this one, but we haven't even talked to anyone yet. We should probably call it a night. Tomorrow will be a long day."

"I know… a few more minutes. I just…want to know everything I can going into tomorrow."

He smiled at her dedication. He also knew if he didn't make her leave, she would be there another few hours easily, lost in her own thoughts. He scooted quietly back from the table and went to stand behind her. She hardly noticed him until he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her gently back against his chest. She tensed for a second and he was about to let her go, then she sighed and leaned back against him, putting her hands over his. He was pleasantly surprised by her reaction and stood there in silence for a few minutes just holding her. She made no move to pull away, but didn't speak either. They were each lost in their own thoughts. He leaned down and rested his chin softly on her shoulder.

"I have told you that you're extraordinary, right?"

"A few times, yes." He couldn't see her face, but could hear the smile in her voice.

"Just making sure."

"You do know you're going to have to come up with a new line eventually, right?"

"Hm, but for now that one still works."

She laughed and turned around to face him, his hands were still on her waist.

"Yea, it does. Look…about your letter-"

"We don't have to talk about that now. I know this case-"

"No, I want to talk about it. There will always be a case. I tried to tell you this before you left for the Hamptons but….things got in the way. I'm sure you've been told that I'm not with Demming anymore. I haven't been all summer. He wasn't…right for me. I'm not easy to get to know…and I know that. And I'm not one hundred percent sure about…us. But I know I'm open to it becoming…more…than it is now…"

She bit the bottom corner of her lip and raised one eyebrow at him questioningly, suddenly feeling very shy. He smiled.

"Why, Detective Beckett, did you just admit that you might be interested in me…romantically?"

She rolled her eyes and smacked him on the chest.

"Castle! I'm serious."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I am too. Shadowing you isn't about the books anymore. Its about you. I know how I feel about you, but if you aren't ready for that, take all the time you need."

He reached out and softly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you. And one more thing?"

"Anything."

"This can't…change things between us during work. I'd never hear the end of it."

Castle smile and held up two fingers in a scouts honor.

"I swear I will do my best to control myself."

"Well we both know that won't be much."

"Its all I've got. Now, can we get you home so you get some rest before tomorrow?"

He turned to face the door and held out his hand. She hesitated for a second, then took his hand and walked with him to the elevator. Because he had rode with Beckett to the station that morning from the murder scene, she was giving him a ride home. When they got in her car Castle was surprised when she reached over and took his hand as they left the parking lot. He smiled at her and ran his thumb over the top of her hand.

"Look, I'm sorry about Gina barging in on our conversation the night I left for the Hamptons. I could tell you wanted to tell me something, I was just so…defeated by the fact that you were going to spend the weekend with Tom that I-"

"Don't worry about it. You didn't know, and its behind us now, okay?"

"Yea…okay. Hey, its late. Why don't you just stay at my place tonight? My mother and Alexis have some spa day girls day thing tomorrow and they will be up and out early. We'd have the place to ourselves. I'll make you breakfast. I make killer waffles."

"Castle…"

"Seriously. No funny stuff. You can stay in the guest bedroom. That way you don't have to drive home."

"Home isn't far. Besides, I show up to work tomorrow wearing the same thing I did today? With you? That would go over big."

"We'll run by your place tomorrow morning and you can change. Or you can even run home yourself and we'll show up separately."

"Then what would be the point of me staying if I have to go home anyways?"

"The waffles. I'm telling you, they are to die for."

"Alright, tell you what, I'll come early for waffles. Deal?"

"Fine. Deal. What time?"

"Seven?"

"Sure, that's fine."

By the time they finished discussing breakfast they had arrived at Castle's building. Kate pulled the car over to the curb and put it in park.

"One more thing Castle. Thank you…for not making a huge deal out of…this." She said, lifting their hands up between them. "It wasn't easy for me to say…"

"I know. I'm honored that you trust me enough to be open with me. Like I said, take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere. Except for right now, I am going up to go to bed. Good night Kate."

He leaned across the car and kissed her on the cheek. He turned to get out of the car but she pulled on the hand she was still holding. He turned back towards her and she leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Goodnight Rick." She whispered as she pulled away from him.


	10. Chapter 10

She knocked on his door a little before seven the next morning. He opened the door and smiled at her.

"Good morning."

"Morning. I didn't know if I should bring something. My first thought was coffee, but that seemed stupid, so..."

"No need to bring anything, just yourself and your appetite. Come in."

He took her jacket as she came though the door. The smell of bacon and waffles greeted her as he closed the door behind her. She saw the table and stopped in her tracks. He had covered the table in a deep burgundy table cloth. In the middle was a huge bouquet of three dozen red and white roses. There was also a bucket of ice with what she thought was a bottle of champaign.

"Castle...you didn't have to go to all that trouble..."

"It wasn't any trouble. Your days are filled with so much of the ugly things in life sometimes, I wanted to start it off with something beautiful. Come, sit down."

She blushed as he took her hand and lead her to the table. He pulled her chair out of her and she giggled as she sat down.

"I had no idea you could be such a gentleman Castle, it's kind of refreshing."

"Its to lull you into a false sense of security. It will be easier to get you into bed that way."

"And there went the illusion." She laughed as she slapped him on the arm. He went into the kitchen and made plates for both of them. He made waffles, bacon and scrambled eggs. He sat her plate down in front of her and pulled the bottle out of the bucket of ice.

"I know you can't drink, so its just sparkling apple cider. It's all about the illusion."

"Illusion or not, this is all very sweet Castle, thank you. And you were right, these waffles are amazing. What do you put in them?"

"It's a secret, I'll never tell."

"Hm, we'll see about that."

"Never. So where are we starting today?"

"Well, since we are here, I thought we could go talk to the mom again. Then we'll go down to the station and see where the tech team is with that laptop, then split the list of people with Ryan and Esposito and start talking to people. I'm hoping we are able to get a hold of her father too."

"Yea, don't you think its weird that a doctor doesn't answer his cell phone or check e-mails when he is out of town."

"Very weird. Seems like he is trying to hide from something."

"That's what I was thinking too."

They spent the rest of breakfast chatting about the case. Before Kate knew it she glanced at her watch at it was 8:30.

"Wow, its already 8:30, we should get going."

Castle stood up to clear the table and she got up to help.

"You don't need to help, just relax."

"You went through all the trouble of making breakfast, it won't kill me to take dishes to the kitchen."

"I know it wouldn't, that's not the point. Ever considered that I like waiting on you? It makes me feel useful, so just sit."

Kate huffed but stayed sitting as he cleared the table. He shoved dishes in the dishwasher and grabbed them both a bottle of water before heading to the door. He held her jacket for her as she put it on. She turned to face him and smiled as she looked up at him. She loved that he was taller than her, even with her heels on.

"Thank you, for everything. It's a nice start to what is probably going to be a long day and I appreciate it."

"And I enjoyed doing it for you."

"There you go with that gentleman image again. Careful, I might start to believe you and have higher standards for you."

"I'll push you in front of a bus or something later to make up for it."

Kate laughed and leaned up to kiss him. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer as he kissed her back. She caught his bottom lip between her teeth playfully before pulling away.

"Cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla." He whispered.

"What?"

"The secret to the waffles."

She laughed as they walked out the door to go talk to Victoria's mom.

They ended up back at the precinct sooner than they thought. Victoria's mom and husband weren't at their house, and neither had answered their cell phones. Beckett left them both messages to call as soon as they could.

Back at the precinct she checked with the tech team and they had not made much progress with the laptop. Discouraged she headed to the morgue to see if Lanie had found anything useful on her second examination of the body.

"Good morning Beckett, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company so early this morning?"

"Morning Lanie. I was just talking to the tech guys about the laptop, thought I'd stop by here on my way back to my desk to see if you found anything else."

"And where is your shadow?"

"He's making coffee in the break room."

"Have you two talked yet?"

Kate sighed. She hated mixing her personal life and work, but it was hard not to since they al considered each other family.

"Yes, we did."

"I'm proud of you. How did it go?"

"I told him that I'm open to the relationship becoming more than it is right now. He's being very…sweet about the whole thing and told me to take all the time I need."

"He's a keeper Kate, please tell me you see that? The man is head over heels in love with you, for you. He knows who you are Kate…not many people know this side of you."

Kate blushed when Lanie mentioned Castle being a keeper. She just smiled and avoided directly answering the question and instead changed the subject.

"So, my original reason for coming here, did you find anything new?"

"Nope, nothing. Sorry."

"Its alright, I figured you wouldn't but I had to check."

"Of course. One more thing."

"Yea?"

"Have you kissed him yet?"

"Lanie!" Kate hissed and made a shushing motion by holding her finger up to her lips.

"Well, that's a yes."

"Yes, okay. Now…would you quit before someone walks in here."

"Oh please, no one comes here without being called except for you. How was it?"

"It was…sweet. He's being very patient with me. I'm going now."

She heard Lanie giggling behind her as she walked though the doors of the morgue and almost ran face first into Castle. He spun sideways and avoided spilling coffee all over both of them.

"Castle! Geez, what are you doing?"

"I was looking for you. When I figured out you were down here I was bringing you coffee."

Kate took the cup he held out to her.

"Thank you, but you could have waited at my desk."

"Where's the fun in that? Besides, I thought maybe Lanie found something new and you were discussing it without me."

"No, we weren't discussing anything without you."

"No, but you were discussing me. Apparently I'm sweet?"

"Ugh, Castle. You shouldn't have been eavesdropping."

"I wasn't. I was about to walk in when I heard her ask if you had kissed me. I figured it would be an awkward moment to walk in so I just…stopped."

Beckett tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and sighed.

"Yes, I told her you have been being sweet. I can easily change that to annoying, frustrating, grating or any other number of adjectives that also fit."

"Like charming, chivalrous, witty…"

"Pig headed, delusional, egotistical."

"Ah, touché Detective. But, for the record, I am being sweet because you deserve nothing less."

He turned and walked down the hallway back towards the bullpen, leaving her standing behind him with her mouth hanging open. She shook her head softly and smiled and she followed him back to her desk.


	11. Chapter 11

As always, any mistakes are mine. If you've been reading all of this so far, I thank you 3 It's a ton of fun to write. Comments are loved 3

Ryan and Esposito showed up about fifteen minutes later. They had been speaking with the people who had been checking in on Victoria. None of them had reported the girl acting strangely at all. The woman who checked in with her the night before she was killed said she was at the house with her from seven to eight. They watched tv and chatted about school, which Victoria had said was going well. She left, telling Victoria to call if she needed anything. That was the last time she heard from her.

Beckett walked to the murder board and put the names of people and brief descriptions of their statements on the board before Victoria's death. She was trying to establish a time line. She started it at seven the night before the body was found, using the womans testimony as her starting point for now.

They had been able to get a log of calls and text messages from Victoria's phone from the cell phone company. Ryan, Esposito and Castle were looking through them. She looked through the window out into the bullpen and smiled at the sight of all of them sitting around Ryan's desk, completely engrossed in the task at hand. Even thought he wasn't really a cop, Castle fit so well into their team she really had a hard time imagining it without him. She had missed him more than she cared to admit to herself over the summer. Almost as if he could tell she was watching, Castle looked up and caught her staring. He smiled as she blushed and turned back to the murder board. She decided to check in with Victoria's mother again. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hello, this is Amber."

"Hello Amber, this is Detective Beckett."

"Hello Detective, how can I help you?"

"I was wondering if we could come by and ask you a few more questions?"

"Certainly, when?"

"As soon as you are available."

"Why don't you come to our hotel in an hour."

"Your hotel?"

"Yes…I…haven't been able to go home yet. I can't stand the thought of it without her there." Amber answered softly, barely holding back tears.

"Of course. Let me get the address to your hotel and we'll be there in an hour."

Beckett quickly wrote down the address of the hotel and hung up the phone. She sighed as she looked at Victoria's picture on the murder board.

"Who would have wanted you dead?" She muttered at the picture. She lingered at the murder board for a few more minutes then headed back to her desk. She checked her email, hoping to find something that would allow them contact with the father, but there was nothing there. She picked up the phone and checked in with his office, but they hadn't heard anything either. She huffed as she hung up the phone and Castle rolled over in his chair from Ryan's desk.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. I just wish we could contact the dad. I just spoke with Amber, we are meeting at their hotel in an hour to talk to her again."

"Hotel?"

"Yea, she hasn't been able to go home yet."

"Oh…yea, I guess I can understand that."

"Yea, me too. Anything on the cell phone bill?"

"So far just texts and phone calls to her friends numbers. Is there a way to get a printout of the actual text messages? To see what they were talking about?"

"If we can prove that we need to, yes, there is. Ready for our road trip?"

Beckett grabbed her car keys out of her desk drawer and her jacket off the back of her chair. Castle stood and followed her. On her way out she stopped at Ryan and Esposito's desks.

"Can you guys pull the most common numbers that she called and text and find out who they belong to? I want to find out if there are other friends we need to talk to other than Haven, Sydney and Trevor."

They nodded at her and kept going over the phone bills. Castle and Beckett got in Beckett's car and headed towards the hotel. Castle looked at the directions; it was about a forty minute drive from where they lived.

"Why stay so far from home?"

"I don't know Castle, to be as far away as possible from the one thing you don't want to come home to I guess."

She was short with him and realized it in the silence after her statement. She glanced over at him from the corner of her eye and he was looking out the window. She was quiet for a few minutes, then spoke softly.

"Sorry…I don't mean to snap, its just that-"

"Don't be sorry. I understand."

The tears that threatened to escape from her eyes surprised her and she shook her head and took a deep breath to clear them. She wasn't used to being open with anyone about the emotional aspect of the cases she worked on. It was something she kept to herself and dealt with alone. She wasn't sure if having Castle to lean on emotionally was going to be a good thing or not. Either way it was going to take some getting used to.

"You okay?" Castle asked.

"Yea, I'm fine. Its just…new is all."

"Us?"

"Yea. I'm not used to having anyone to lean on, emotionally speaking. I keep myself very closed off emotionally from the case when I'm working. I wait til I'm at home to deal with any of that. And with you around…its different. I know you understand, so it leaves more things…open? If that makes sense?"

"It does. But…I've been around for a while now…how is it different?"

"I've been thinking about that. I think because I'm more open to…how I feel about you…its making me more open to other emotions too."

Castle thought for a minute before responding, which was unusual for him.

"Is there anything you want me to do differently? Or anything I can do to help? I don't want this to be weird for you now…me following you around…"

Kate smiled.

"No, you're not doing anything wrong. It will just take some adjusting is all. Don't worry about it."

"Okay…I just don't want to make things any harder for you."

"I know you don't." She reached over and squeezed his hand. He returned the squeeze and they held hands. Kate was surprised at how normal it felt to be driving along holding his hand when just last week she was trying to come to terms with the fact that they would probably never get to this point in their relationship. The thought made her smile.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Nothing in particular."

"So, what are you going to ask the mom?" Castle let the moment go, and Kate was glad. She didn't plan on sharing every thought that went through her head with him.

"Pretty much the same stuff I did yesterday. I'm looking for the same answers. When people are lying, they tend to forget their own lies. If she does, I'll catch her. I also want to ask some things about the father, since I can't get a hold of him myself yet."

"Do you think the mom had anything to do with it?"

"My gut feeling? No. But I can't go with my gut, I need to use facts to eliminate her. Everyone starts off as a suspect until its proven otherwise."

"I'd go with your guy. You have good people instincts. You know how to read people really well. She probably didn't do it."

"You go with feelings. I stick with facts. That is why you are the writer and I'm the cop."

She winked at him as they pulled up to the hotel. Castle glanced out the window.

"Wow, fancy place. I wouldn't mind staying here rather than home either."

Kate laughed as they got out of the car and headed inside. She was hoping to learn something useful to the case. So far they had nothing and the lack of leads was starting to make her irritable.


	12. Chapter 12

Amber welcomed them into the hotel room with a sad smile. She looked like she hadn't slept at all since they had last seen her and Kate's heart went out to her as much as it could. She had to keep a professional distance to get her job done.

"I'm sorry we have to come back Mrs. Fielding-"

"Amber. Please call me Amber. I've never been comfortable with the Mrs. Title. And its okay. Anything to help catch whoever did this to Tori…"

"Amber then. Is your husband here?"

"No, he had to go into the office for a few hours to clean up a few things from when we were gone. He should be back in a few hours. I'm sorry, you didn't mention that you would need to speak with him…I can call him…"

"No, its okay. We can come back another time. You said you were sure that Victoria wouldn't have killed herself…"

"Yes, I'm sure. We actually had a conversation about it when she was a freshman. A girl at school killed herself and Tori asked me what would make a person do that. We had a long talk about it and she seemed repulsed by the idea that someone would give up so easily on life so young. She said she would never quit like that."

Amber's eyes filled with tears as she spoke about her daughter. Kate pushed on through the questions, knowing it was the only thing to do.

"Do you know anyone who would have wanted to kill her?"

"No. She didn't have a lot of friends…just a few really close ones…Haven and Sydney…and her boyfriend, Trevor. But she didn't have any enemies either. Tori made it a point to get a long with everyone. She didn't have to be their friends, but she didn't dislike people for no reason either."

"And she never came to you with problems at school? Fights with other girls maybe?"

"No, never. She never said anything about problems with anyone."

"How long had her and Trevor been together?"

"Since half way though her freshman year. He is a senior this year. They broke up for a few weeks over summer, but worked everything out and have been fine ever since. He's a really good kid. He was devastated when I called him."

"What about Haven and Sydney?"

"Her and Haven have been friends since kindergarten and Sydney has been their friend since the first year of middle school. They are like sisters, the three of them."

"Were either one of them jealous of Victoria's relationship with Trevor?"

"No, not that I knew of. Haven had a boyfriend name Jay for a while, but they've been broken up for a while now. Sydney said she didn't want to date. The three of them didn't fight much, and when they did it never lasted for long. They actually stayed at the house the night before she was…before she died. At least that was the plan before we left."

Kate scribbled a few notes into her notepad and shot a quick glance at Castle. He was sitting next to her on the couch, his leg barely touching hers. She realized that she found an odd sense of comfort at the connection and shifted slightly in her seat so her leg as pushed more firmly against his. He noticed and smiled slightly. Kate turned her attention back to Amber.

"Have you been able to reach her father?"

Amber sighed heavily.

"No, I haven't. He's at a conference and is usually unreachable. It was like that when we were married too."

"Isn't that a little strange?"

"I used to think so too, but he said that he rarely goes to conferences and when he does he wants 100% of his focus to be on what he is there to learn. When he put it that way, it didn't seem as weird, but it didn't make it any less frustrating."

"What does he do?"

"He is a fertility doctor."

Kate remembered the Clomid they had found in the medicine cabinet at Amber's house.

"Was he treating you?" Amber blushed at the question and glanced away from Kate for a second before answering.

"He was. It was how Victoria was conceived actually. Though in vitro. I was on fertility drugs for a while but they didn't work. In vitro was the next step. I was on fertility drugs again when Tony and I decided we wanted a baby, but they weren't working again. We didn't have the money for in vitro, so I just stopped taking the pills and…I got pregnant."

Amber moved her hand over her stomach subconsciously as she spoke of her pregnancy.

"I was thrilled, Jake…Amber's father…was shocked."

"Was he happy for you?"

"Yes, very happy. He was just surprised that I was able to conceive naturally. We tried for years before deciding on in vitro with Victoria."

"Was it your ex husband who performed the procedure?" Castle asked. Amber eyed him suspiciously before answering.

"Yes, it was. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"What was his relationship like with Victoria?" Kate asked, shifting Amber's attention back to her.

"Oh, they got along pretty well for the most part. Tori had her issues with him, like any teenage girl does with an over protective father, but generally speaking they got along well."

"Did she know she was conceived using in vitro?"

"No, she didn't…I never felt it necessary to tell her, not yet anyhow. I always thought I'd have more time…"

Kate nodded slowly.

"I think that's all for now Amber. Thank you again for taking the time to speak with us. Please, if you reach your ex husband, we need to speak with him. I will keep you updated as often as I can, and we'll be back to speak with Tony again as well, if that's okay?"

"Yes, yes of course. I should have told him to stay here today, that was stupid of me…"

"Its okay. Please call if you think of anything that would be important. I'll be in touch."

Amber reached for Kate's arm as she turned to walk towards the door. She clasped her arm, just above the wrist. Kate turned back to look at her.

"Detective…please…find who stole my daughter from me. They…took time that I was supposed to still have with her. I know nothing will bring her back…but just knowing who did this to her…and having them pay…"

"I will find whoever did this to her…I promise you that."

Amber bit her bottom lip and wiped tears out of her eyes.

"Thank you Detective." She whispered as she walked them to the door and quietly closed it behind them. Kate ran her hand through her hair and headed towards the elevator. Castle followed quietly behind her. He wanted to put his arm around her and comfort her, but he knew better. She would come to him if she needed him. He knew better than to push the boundaries of their relationship this soon. They stepped into the elevator and Kate pushed the button and leaned against the back of the elevator and closed her eyes as the doors slid shut.


	13. Chapter 13

Ambers comment about stolen time had effected her more than she should have let it. She knew all too well what it was like to have time stolen from you, and it made this case even more important to her. She felt Castle move to stand next to her.

"If anyone can find who did this, its you." He said quietly. She sighed and opened her eyes. He was standing as close to her as he could without actually touching her. She hesitated for a second and then curled against him, leaning her head into his shoulder. Without speaking, he put his arm around her and ran his hand slowly up and down her arm. They stood like that until the elevator slid to a stop at the lobby level. Kate drew a shaky breath and stood up as the doors opened. Castle smiled as he followed her though the lobby and out towards the car.

"Where to next?"

"The high school. I want to talk to Trevor, Sydney and Haven."

They climbed in her car and headed toward the high school in silence. Castle knew that Amber's comment about stolen time had upset Beckett. He could tell by the tension in her body and the look in her eyes that she was fighting for control over her emotions. He was glad she had leaned on him in the elevator. She kept so many of her emotions to herself and he was glad she was comfortable enough to lean on him for support, even if it was only for a brief moment. It took all of his self control not to reach across the car to take her hand and try to comfort her, but he knew better. He knew it was better to let her come to him.

"Her comment about stolen time...that got to me more than it should have..." Kate spoke quietly, without looking at him.

"I know...it's perfectly understandable that it effected you."

"I usually have better control of my emotions than that."

"You're human...you can't have control all of the time. That compassion is what makes you so good at your job."

Kate smiled. It was a sad smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"I just wish I could help her...I wish I could tell her that it gets easier, but the truth is that it doesn't...not really. There are times when it's easier, and there are times when the emotion, the hurt, the anger...its all just as raw now as it was then..."

Her sentence trailed off into silence as tears started running down her face. Castle was surprised; she very rarely cried and especially not in front of him. He reached across the car for her hand and was surprised when she reached for him as well. He laced his fingers between hers and squeezed her hand. She took a deep, shaky breath and pulled over to the side of the road. She stopped the car and rested her forehead against the steering wheel.

"What is wrong with me? I really need to pull myself together."

Castle knew she was talking more to herself than to him, but he answered anyway.

"Nothing is wrong with you, you're human. You have a job that most people couldn't handle. You've been on the other side of it, you know what it feels like. Of course there are going to be cases that get to you more than others."

Kate turned her head and tried to smile at him, but it didn't work. He tugged on her hand.

"Get out of the car."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it." He let go of her hand and got out of the car. She hesitated, then got out of the car too. She walked around to the passenger side where he was leaning against the door.

"Okay, I'm out of the car Castle."

He wordlessly held his arms open. She stood for a minute and seemed to contemplate the gesture, then she sighed and walked into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head as she leaned against his chest. Her body shook with silent sobs and he ran his hand up and down her back. He hated seeing her hurt and wanted to do more, but he knew there wasn't anything he could do.

Her crying only lasted about five minutes. Castle just quietly held her, softly rubbing her back until he felt her crying slow and eventually stop as she relaxed against him. She tilted her head up and smiled at him. This time it was a real smile.

"Thank you."

"Anytime. I just wish there was more I could do..."

"You do more than you realize."

"If it doesn't take the hurt away, then it's not enough."

She ran her hand behind his neck and pulled him down towards her as she kissed him. It was a deeper, more urgent kiss than the others and Castle had to catch his breath when she pulled away

"You do plenty." She whispered, her lips inches from his. He could feel her breath as she spoke. He nodded and she kissed him again; it was soft and brief, she smiled as she pulled away. She went to pull away from him to get back in the car but he tightened his arms around her waist. She smiled up at him,

"I don't want you to let me go either, but we have to get going."

He smiled, triumphant in the fact that she admitted she liked it when he held her. He kissed her forehead gently before letting her go. He didn't trust himself to speak without telling her he loved her, and he knew she wasn't ready to hear that yet.

She reached for his hand as soon as they were back in the car and they held hands the entire drive to the high school.


	14. Chapter 14

At the school there was already a make shift memorial up for Victoria. There was a poster sized framed picture of her leaning against the flagpole in the middle of campus. It was surrounded by candles, flowers and a few stuffed animals. Some people had left letters as well.

Trevor and Haven weren't at school. That didn't surprise Kate. She was actually more surprised that Sydney was. The girl sat across the table from them in a conference room. Her green eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. Kate could make out streaks of

purple and blue from the little bit of bangs that hung down out of the hood she had pulled up over her head. She was dressed in black skinny jeans and a baggy black hoodie. She slouched in the chair she was sitting in and refused to make eye contact.

"I'm surprised you're in school today Sydney."

The girl shrugged and picked at the edge of her thumbnail.

"Considering your best friend just died, I would think you would be at home, like Haven and Trevor."

"I don't want to be at home...here is my only other option."

The girls muttered response was so quiet Kate could barely hear her. She stood up and walked to the other side of the table to sit in the chair next to Sydney. The girl looked up and shifted her chair slightly sideways, away from Kate. She ignored the girls obvious attempt to get away from her and leaned close as she spoke.

"Look Sydney, I know what its like to loose someone you love. I know you want to just crawl in a hole and hide from the rest of the world right now. I know you are trying to think of things you could have done...if you had just been there with her, if you had just noticed something, that maybe you could have stopped it. I'm here to tell you now, its not true. There is nothing you could have done to stop it and it wasn't your fault. I am trying to find who killed her...and to do that, I need to ask you some questions. Is that okay?"

As Kate spoke Sydney slowly looked up at her. Tears ran down her face as she slowly nodded.

"When is the last time you saw Victoria?"

"The night before she...died. Me and Haven spent the night a her house. Trevor came over too, but he didn't stay. He came over after Jen checked on us and he left around midnight."

"What time did Jen check on you?"

"Umm...around seven I think? She was probably there until eight thirty or so, I think Trevor got there around nine."

"What did you guys do?"

"Just sat around listening to music and talking about nothing, like we always did."

"Did you notice anything different about Victoria? Was she upset about anything?"

"No, nothing different at all. She was in a good mood. She was usually in a good mood."

"Can you think of anyone she was upset with recently?"

Sydney thought for a minute, looking down at her hands as she did so. Then she looked back up and looked directly into Kate's eyes.

"No, she didn't mention anything to me and I can't think of anything that happened or anyone she was upset with."

"What about her relationship with Trevor?"

"They were really close. They've been the perfect couple ever since they got together."

"Victoria's mom mentioned that they broke up for a while over summer..."

"Yea...that was because of Tori. She had this moment when she thought she was missing out on something by only being with Trevor. She said this was high school and she should be dating other people. She broke up with him for a few weeks and was so miserable the whole time she didn't even go out with anyone else. Haven and I told her to get over herself and just get back with Trevor."

"Did Trevor date anyone else during that time?"

"Nope."

"Can you think of anyone who would have wanted to hurt her?"

"No...she got a long with everyone..."

"What about her parents? And Tony?"

"She was really close to her mom. Her dad...she got along with him but he was over protective and didn't like how much time she spent with Trevor, so that annoyed her. But...nothing huge. She didn't always see him very much. She liked Tony. They werent close, but she liked that he made her mom happy."

"Thank you Sydney. That's all for now, but here is my card. Please call me if you think of anything."

Sydney took the card from Kate and went back to looking at the ground. Kate stood up and walked to the door, Castle stood and followed her. They were almost to then door when Sydney called out to them.

"Detective Beckett?"

"Yes Sydney?"

"Thank you...for trying to find who killed her...she would have liked you..."

"It's my job Sydney, but you're welcome. I'll do my best to find who did this."

"Its more than a job to you, I can tell...and that's what Victoria would have liked. She always said people should live life doing what they were passionate about...and if it helped other people, the it was even better..." Sydney's sentence drifted off as she got lost in thoughts about her friend. She looked up at Kate with tears running down her face.

"You know why I'm not at home today?"

Kate slowly shook her head no.

"Because everything there reminds me of her. My walls are covered in pictures of all of us, from middle school up though last week and I can't handle it. I talked about killing myself once...when things were bad at home...and Victoria go so mad at me. She said she knew me better than that, and that I wasn't a quitter. She said she would be so pissed off at me if I quit like that. She wrote 'Don't you dare give up on me' on my mirror in sharpie...it's one of the first things I see every morning...and I just couldn't do that today..."

"That's understandable...she was right to tell you not to give up...call me Sydney...if you need to talk about anything...okay?"

Sydney nodded and Castle and Beckett quietly left the room. They walked by the memorial again and Beckett stopped in front of it. Victoria smiled back at her from the picture, her bright blue eyes sparkling, like someone had told a joke that only she understood. Beckett shook her head and sighed softly as they walked away. Castle walked next to her in the hallway and put his hand lightly in the small of her back. She leaned into his touch and walked closer to him as they made their way to the car.

"So, what did you think of her?"

Castle asked once they were back in the car.

"She's an upset girl who just lost her best friend. Typical teenager, she didn't want to talk to me because she didn't think I would understand."

"But she's totally hiding something..."

"Yes, she is. And she wants to tell me, but she's not sure it's really important to what happened and she doesn't want to betray her friends trust."

"Do, you think she'll tell you eventually?"

"I hope so. I think she might be waiting until we talk to Trevor and Haven. She is hoping one of them tells me so she doesn't have to."

"Do you think they will?"

"I don't know. We'll find out. I'm headed to Haven's house next. Then Trevor's."


	15. Chapter 15

Haven was sitting on her couch, still in her pajamas. Her long black hair was pulled into a messy bun. Her flannel pajamas were dark blue with stars and swirls all over them. She was hiding in a fuzzy purple blanket that was also covered in stars. Beckett sat next to her on the couch, Castle sat across the room in a chair. Haven drew her feet up in front of her, her arms crossed on her knees. Her hazel eyes were red and puffy from crying, much like Sydney's had been. Beckett saw a hardness in her eyes that she hadn't seen in Sydney's. Sydney had looked like she didn't want to talk because she was afraid no one would understand. Haven just looked like she didn't want to talk.

"Haven, I'm sorry about you loosing your friend."

"No you aren't. You didn't even know her, how can you be sorry? You people just say that because its something to say to start the conversation. Cut the crap, just ask me what you want to ask me and go away."

Beckett tilted her head slightly and met Haven's angry glare dead on. She leaned forward and spoke in a low, even tone.

"You're right, I didn't know her. I have no idea who she was, or what you lost. But I do know what it feels like to loose someone. I have been on your side of this and I know how you feel. So, before you jump to conclusions and tell people to cut the crap, you might want to think that maybe the world doesn't simply revolve around you and your feelings."

Haven's eyes grew wide with shock as Kate finished. She waited a second for what she had said to sink in. When Haven's eyes met hers again, they were less angry. She sighed and folded her hands in her lap.

"What do you want to know?" Haven asked quietly.

"When was the last time you saw Victoria?"

"The night before she died. Sydney and I spent the night."

"Was it just you, Sydney and Victoria?"

"No…Jen came over to check on us, Trevor came over after she left but didn't stay. He left around midnight."

"What time did he come over?"

"Umm…around nine I think. After Jen left."

"What did you guys do?"

"Nothing…like always. We mostly just sat around and talked."

"Did anyone seem any different? Upset about anything?"

"No. Everyone was fine."

"Had Victoria been upset about anything lately?"

"No…not that I know of, and she told us everything." Haven looked down at her hands as she answered, then across the room at Castle, then back to Kate.

"Do you know of anyone who didn't like her?"

"Nope. Tori got along with everyone. I'm sure there were some people who didn't like her. No one is liked by everyone. But no one specific that I can think of."

"Did she ever complain about her parents? Or Tony?"

Haven laughed a little at the question.

"What teenager doesn't? Tori and her mom were pretty close. Her dad…annoyed her. He was over protective sometimes and didn't like her having a boyfriend, but he was mostly a nice guy. We used to go to his house on the weekends sometimes when we were younger, but she hadn't been going as much recently."

"Do you know why?"

"She didn't want to. She said he never had time for them to do anything when she was over and she would rather just stay home."

"What about Tony?"

"She didn't really know Tony that well. They never got close, but she liked that he made her mom happy."

"Last thing. We can't find Victoria's cell phone, do you have any idea where she might have left it?"

"No..she always had it with her. We all text each other all the time."

"Okay…thank you. Here is my card. If you think of anything, please call me."

Haven took the card and nodded slowly. Beckett stood to leave and Castle followed.

"I'm sorry…that I was so rude. I was just…I haven't been myself."

Kate smiled. She had been waiting for the apology and figured it would come before they left.

"Its okay Haven, its understandable."

Haven half smiled at them as they left.

"Wow, she was…angry." Castle commented as they got in the car.

"Well…her best friend was just murdered. I think she has a right to be angry Castle."

"You're right, that much anger just surprised me. I figured she would be more sad, like Sydney was."

"Everyone deals with grief in their own way."

"So, what do you think they are both hiding?"

"I don't know…whatever it is, neither one of them want to tell it yet. Maybe we'll have better luck with Trevor."

* * *

Trevor, like Haven and Sydney, was visibly upset. He was dressed in sweatpants and an old t-shirt. His black hair looked like he hadn't brushed it since the day before and his dark brown eyes were sunken in with dark bags under them. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week.

He sat on the sofa across from Beckett with one leg tucked underneath him.

"When was the last time you saw Victoria?" Beckett asked.

"The night she…died."

"You were with her that night?"

"Yes. I was coming over every night her mom and Tony were gone. I would come over after who ever was checking in on her left, and I usually left around midnight."

"What time did you leave that night."

"I left at 11:30. The only reason I remember specifically is because my dad was getting off early that night. He said I had to be home when he got home. I had to leave her house no later than 11:30 to make sure I was home by midnight when my dad got home."

"What time did you go over?"

"Around nine."

"Did Victoria seem upset about anything?"

"No, she was a little more quiet than normal, but she said she thought that maybe she was getting sick. Other than that she was fine."

"Was there anyone else there?"

"No, just me and her."

"How did you know that whoever was checking on her would be gone?"

"She always text me when they left. We didn't care if someone else was there, but you know how adults are when two teenagers are alone…her mom knew I was coming over."

"Do you still have the text from her that night?"

"Yea, I do."

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocked and scrolled to the text before handing it to Beckett. She read the conversation between the two of them that started with a text from Victoria at 8:10.

**8:10pm, Victoria: Hey babe, she left a few min ago. Come on over.**

**8:12pm, Trevor: Alright. A few things to do here, then I'm on my way**

**8:15pm, Victoria: Text when you get here and I'll buzz you up**

**8:25pm, Trevor: Leaving now. See you soon**

**8:30pm, Victoria: K**

**8:50pm, Trevor: Here**

Then a text later from Victoria at 11:45

**11:45pm, Victoria: Goodnight babe, I'll see you tomorrow**

Beckett handed the phone back to Trevor.

"You didn't respond to that last text message? Why not?"

"I didn't get it until after I go home and showered. I didn't want to wake her up. I figured I would just talk to her the next day…only…"

"Did you know Victoria's father?" Castle asked from his chair across the room.

"Yes…"

"Did the two of you get along?"

"Kind of. He didn't like how much time Victoria spent with me. He also didn't like that I was older than her, but I don't think he disliked me. We went out to dinner a few times with him and he was always nice."

"Did he ever do the typical dad thing and warn you to stay away from his daughter? Or make sure you were treating her right?"

"Not really. He talked to me once after Victoria and I had been together for about six months and told me that he thought it would be better if she didn't have a boyfriend. He said that he felt like taking all of her time and she didn't get to spend any time with her friends."

"And what was your response."

"I didn't really get a chance to respond. Victoria came in from the other room and told him to leave me alone. They argued a little bit and then he took us back to her house. We had been at his house for dinner."

Castle nodded and Beckett resumed the questioning.

"Had Victoria been upset with Haven or Sydney recently?"

"No, not at all. The three of them hardly ever fought about anything. If they did, it rarely lasted longer than a few hours."

"What about her parents? Or Tony?"

"She didn't really know Tony very well. She liked him, but only because he made her mom happy. She was closer to her mom than she was to her dad, but she hadn't said anything about either one of them."

"Do you have any idea where she might have left her cell phone?"

"No...she always had it with her...I guess it would be somewhere in her room..."

"Thank you Trevor. Here is my card, please call if you think of anything that might be important."

"Of course I will."

Kate sighed and rested her head against the steering wheel when they got back in the car. Castle reached over and lightly rubbed her back.

"Well that didn't get us much of anywhere, other than that they are all hiding something."

"Maybe they all planned her murder."

"Why would her best friends and boyfriend all plot to kill her?"

"Maybe...she was an undercover CIA agent, not a teenager, and she was about to turn them in for something...oh, maybe they are spies."

Despite her best effort not to, Kate giggled.

"You and your CIA theories."

"Like I've said before, someday I will be right."

"Someday...maybe...but with this case I seriously doubt it. Let's get back to the precinct, maybe Ryan and Esposito will have good news.


	16. Chapter 16

Back at the precinct Ryan and Esposito had better news than Kate expected. They had finally gotten a hold of the people running the conference Victoria's father was at. they said it was a family emergency and he was on the next plane he could catch back to New York. He would be back in the morning the next day.

The tech team knew they were going to be able to restore the laptop, but that too would have to wait until morning.

Right after they got back to the precinct Castle had left to get them all lunch. Lanie called while he was gone and Beckett met her in the morgue.

"You're shadowless again?" Lanie asked with a smile as Beckett came through the doors.

"He went to get lunch."

"Ah, so...how is it going?"

"It's going good...really good. It's kind of nice...having him for support."

"It's good for you...I've told you, if you keep holding everything all inside you're going to give yourself ulcers. He would do anything for you Kate."

"I'm starting to see that..."

"Good. Now, the reason I called you. I found something."

Kate followed her over to Victoria's body.

"Trace amounts of Latex near her hair line and on her eyelids."

"Whoever killed her closed her eyes..."

"Maybe...but since she was drugged before she was killed, I would guess they opened them to make sure she was dead."

"So...they drugged her, carried her to the bathtub, slit her wrists and then stayed around to make sure she was dead?"

"Seems like it."

"You know, I've been thinking this was someone she knew, someone she was close to because there were no signs of struggle and the drug would be easy for someone to slip her in a drink...but it also has the markings of something cold and calculated...which is usually not someone the victim knew."

"I estimate her time of death at somewhere between midnight and two am. Based on how much drugs were in her system, I would say she was probably out cold sometime between eleven and eleven thirty at least."

"How sure are you of that?"

"Pretty sure. You would have to be out cold not to struggle some. The cuts on her wrists were deep enough to cut the tendon, they would have been very, very painful had she been conscious."

"So she was out cold by eleven thirty at the latest and died somewhere between midnight and two am."

"Yes."

"Then something is definitely up with the boyfriend. He said he left her house at eleven thirty. He has a text from her from eleven forty five telling him goodnight."

"I would bet money that she didn't send that text."

"It came from her number...and so far we haven't been able to find her cell phone."

"Whoever sent the text probably took it."

"Yea...thanks Lanie. Call me if there's anything else. I'll catch up with you later."

Kate mumbled the last part of her sentence as she headed out of the morgue and back to the murder board. She wrote the time of death, the time Lanie figured she would have been unconscious, and overlapped them with the times Trevor was there and claimed to leave, along with the times of the text messages. She was staring at the board with her arms crossed when Castle walked up with hotdogs. She absentmindedly sat hers on the table behind her as she continued to stare at the board.

"So...what happened while I was gone that has you so focused?"

She filled him in on what Lanie had said and the fact that there was no way Victoria could have sent that last text message to Trevor. Castle stared at the murder board with her and they started bouncing ideas back at forth, starting with Castle.

"So...he goes to her house, gives her a drink with drugs in it..."

"Waits until she is unconscious..."

"Leaves, with her cell phone, and sends himself a text message goodbye..."

"So anyone who asks thinks he left her alive and awake."

"But...why? Why would he drug her and then just leave her there? Were there signs of sexual assault?"

Beckett shook her head.

"No. No signs of sex, assault or consensual, before death."

"Okay, so he didn't drug her because she wouldn't sleep with him...You said there were traces of latex residue on her body. Could that have been from Lanies gloves?"

"No, we use non latex gloves. It was my first question too, but we switched years ago."

"Okay, so...you think whoever killed her opened her eyes to make sure she was dead...but what if whoever drugged her opened her eyes to make sure she was unconscious?"

"Could be...but what are you getting at?"

"So...he comes over, drugs her, checks to make sure he is unconscious...does...whatever he came for, then leaves. He takes her cellphone with him so he can send himself that last text..."

"Its all a great theory Castle, but unless we find her cell phone in his pocket or something, we have no proof of any of that. And, why would he take the cell phone with him to send that last text unless he knew he would need an alibi for her murder?"

"You said the tech team was going to be able to recover the information from her laptop, right? Could they tell you the time it was wiped out?"

Beckett flipped open her phone and called the tech team. She hung up and stared at Castle.

"They said it was wiped clean at eleven ten."

"Which is when Trevor was at her house. It had to be him that did it, she was most likely already out cold by then according to Lanie. I bet if you check into Trevor's classes at school, you'll find a lot of computer classes."

Beckett smiled and called out to Ryan and Espositio.

"Ryan! Esposito! I want everything you can find on the boyfriend, Trevor. I want class schedules all the way back through middle school. If he's taken any college courses or summer programs, I want to know. I specifically want to know how much he knows about computers."

Ryan and Esposito nodded and started making phone calls. Kate glanced at her watch, it was already 4:30pm. She doubted they would be able to find anything out until the next day. School offices usually closed around four.

"Can't we get a warrant to search Trevor's place for her cell phone?"

"I'm working on it. I have to show reason for wanting a warrant. I can't just get one because I'm a cop and I ask nicely. If I can show proof that Trevor had the skills required to wipe that laptop clean, I can use that to my advantage. He admitted to being there at the time it was done. Lanie says she would have been out cold and could not have sent that last text. It would give me a viable reason to believe he would have taken the phone and a reason to ask for the warrant."

"But what if he gets nervous and gets rid of the phone in the mean time?"

"He may have gotten rid of it already. We just have to hope that luck is on our side."

An hour, and several phone calls later, Beckett sent Ryan and Esposito home for the night with the promise that she wasn't far behind them. As she had thought, all the offices they needed to speak with were already closed for the day.

"Castle, you can go home too. There isn't anything left to do today. I'll be out of here soon too."

"Yea right, if I leave you here alone you will spend half the night looking at that murder board and seeing the same thing you see right now. If you want to send me home, you're coming too."

"Not just yet..."

"Then me either."

Kate smiled at him and walked back over to the board. She knew she wasn't getting rid of him, and she was okay with him staying there. He was one of the few people who could stay out of her way when he was watching her. She went back over the time line and her notes from the interviews earlier in the day. She re read the letter books and statements from the people who had been checking in on Victoria. The whole time Castle stayed quiet, occasionally brining her a cup of coffee that she didn't remember drinking. About two hours later he walked up behind her chair and draped his arms around her neck. She glanced around to make sure no one was there, then leaned into his embrace.

"Its time to go huh?" She asked quietly.

"Yea, it is. You've been at it for two hours since you told me to go home and you're starting to do the same things over again. Its been a long day. You made a lot of progress today and there will be a lot going on tomorrow. You need to rest. Why don't you come back to my place and I'll make you dinner?"

"Hm, breakfast and dinner in one day? And you never did push me in front of that bus...what did I do to deserve this?"

He smiled as he kissed her forehead.

"Just being you is plenty." He grabbed her hand and tugged. "Come on, lets go."

"Let me put this stuff away and we'll go."

Ten minutes later they were in her car on the way back to his place. He had text his mother when she was cleaning up her desk and asked her and Alexis to please go upstairs. It turned out neither one of them was home, which was even better. He had been pleasantly surprised that she had agreed to come to dinner so easily. It had been a rough day for her and he wanted to help her relax.

They walked into his loft and she was already yawning.

"Geez, I'm sorry." She muttered as he lead her to the couch.

"Oh please, don't apologize for being tired. What do you want for dinner? I can throw together a salad if you want something light. I can do pasta if you want, chicken, burgers, those would take longer."

Castle rattled off options as he rummaged through his refrigerator.

"Pasta sounds great."

"Pasta it is then. I can grab an old t-shirt if you want to put on something more comfortable."

"Castle...you just want to see me in one of your old shirts."

"Maybe...but can you blame me? And it would be more comfortable."

"It would, I'll actually take you up on it."

"My room is through there, t-shirts are in the top right hand drawer of my dresser. Knock yourself out."

Kate unfolded from the couch and wandered into his bedroom. She pulled open the drawer and grabbed a navy blue shirt. She was so used to seeing Castle in his button up shirts that she found it odd that he even owned a t-shirt. She unfolded it and giggled quietly at the "I'm too sexy for my shirt" writing scrawled across the chest in black. She thought about choosing a different one, but decided to go with her first choice. She pulled her own shirt over her head and slipped his on. It was baggy and hung down almost to her knees. She pulled the neckline up to her nose and inhaled his scent. She was glad she had accepted his offer of dinner after all. There had been a moment when he asked that she almost turned him down, but the thought of spending the evening alone was daunting. She knew she would just think about the case. She glanced around his bedroom and had a brief thought of curling up in bed next to him. She shook her head; not yet. She wasn't ready for that yet.

She wandered back out to the kitchen where he was boiling the water for the pasta and working on the sauce. He had two glasses of red wine sitting on the counter and she picked one up and took a sip. He heard her sit down the glass and turned around. His face split into a smile when he saw her choice of shirts.

"Hm, Detective, I have to agree with the shirt. You are definitely too sexy for it."

"It's staying on anyways, but I thought you might find it amusing."

"Indeed I do."

He moved towards her and grabbed the front of the shirt, pulling her closer. She went willingly into his arms and felt some of the days tension melt out of her shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her. She sighed into his chest, surprised at how safe she felt when he was holding her.

"You okay?" He asked quietly. She nodded against him and he kissed the top of her head then moved down the side of her neck. A soft moan involuntarily escaped from her lips and he laughed quietly as he let her go.

"Why don't you go get comfortable on the couch, I'll bring you dinner when its ready."

"I was perfectly comfortable where I was…"

"Me too, but if we stay there, dinner will burn."

"Oh, alright, fine."

She walked over to the couch and sat with her legs tucked up underneath her. She turned the TV on and flipped though channels, carefully avoiding the news in case there was any mention of Victoria's case. She settled on reruns of Three's Company and Castle came in the room carrying two bowls of pasta about fifteen minutes later.

"Mmm, smells amazing. Is your pasta as good as your waffles?" She said with a coy smile as she took the steaming bowl from him. He sat down on the end of the couch opposite from her and smiled.

"Maybe, you'll just have to see."

She blew on the pasta to cool it off and didn't realize how hungry she was until she started eating.

"Castle, I had no idea you could cook. This is really good. I didn't know I was this hungry…did I even eat the hotdog you gave me earlier?"

"No, I put it in the break room. I didn't even think you realized that I had handed it to you."

"I did, I was just a little…involved in the case. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

They chatted about old TV shows as they finished eating. Kate sat her empty bowl on the coffee table and leaned back onto the couch, yawning.

"That was amazing. Thank you…for everything today."

"You are more than welcome."

She smiled at him as she fought off another yawn.

"I should get going. I'm exhausted."

"Aw, don't eat and run. Stay for a little while, besides, you know if you go home you won't sleep."

"Castle…I can't stay the night."

"I know, just for a while. Come here."

He turned on the couch so he back was up against the arm. He stretched one leg towards her and hung the other off the end of the couch and held his arms out to her. She sighed and slid over to him. She leaned against him, laying between his legs with her back against his chest, her legs straight out in front of her. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over her as he started softly rubbing her shoulders. She practically melted against him as he moved from her shoulders to her neck and down her arms, then back to her shoulders. He changed his breathing and took deep, relaxing breaths and he felt her breathing change to match his, as he knew it would. After a few minutes he could feel her relaxing even more. He moved his fingers through her hair, gently massaging her scalp. She moaned softly.

"Castle…" She murmured.

"Shh, just relax."

After a few more minutes she leaned her head back against his chest as she drifted off to sleep. Castle smiled and kept rubbing her shoulders lightly for a few minutes until he was sure she was asleep. Then he wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her stomach. She shifted slightly in his arms, but didn't wake up. He sat there for a few minutes just feeling her breathe and he realized he wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.

He leaned his head against the back of the couch and fell asleep holding her in his arms, like he had dreamed of doing so many times.

He woke up later to her shifting against him. He sighed and tightened his arms around her.

"Castle…" She whispered.

"Hmm?" He responded without opening his eyes.

"I should go, its midnight."

"Just stay."

She shifted her position and put her hands over his on her stomach.

"I should go…" She repeated, sounding less sure of herself.

"Maybe you should…but do you want to?"

"No…"

"Then stay. I've been a perfect gentleman all night. That won't change. You'll sleep better here."

Kate sighed and Castle knew he had won her over. He stretched and sat up. Kate groaned as she sat up to move out of his way.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to bed, come on."

"Castle…if this is about getting me in bed with you, I'm going home."

"No no, I'll behave, I swear. Its just…more comfortable than the couch. I mean…you did just sleep with me for hours."

He stood up and stretched, then held out his hand to her. She hesitated before taking it. She had just slept more sound the past few hours than she had in months.

"You don't have to…I can sleep on the couch and you can have the bed."

Kate took his hand and stood up.

"No…just…"

"No funny stuff, I promise."

She followed him to the bedroom where he pulled the blankets down. She crawled underneath them and laid down.

"You want me to get my own blanket? You can be under these, I'll get a different one if that makes you feel better."

"No, its okay. Just lay down, I'm tired."

Castle climbed into bed and laid down behind her as he pulled the covers up over them.

"Are you okay with this?"

"No."

"No? I'll go to the couch then…"

"No…you're too far away." She said softly as she scooted back until she was touching him. He smiled as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer until his chest was up against her back.

"Better?" He asked.

"Mmhmm." She answered sleepily. Her breathing shifted to match his again and he ran his fingers though her hair until he felt her fall asleep again. He draped his arm over her waist and laid his head on the pillow behind hers as he drifted off to sleep, inhaling the faint scent of cherries.


	17. Chapter 17

Kate woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and coffee. She stretched and rolled over on her back before opening her eyes. It took her a split second to remember that she was at Castle's house…in his bed. She stretched again then climbed out of bed and headed towards the kitchen.

Castle was cooking and the table was already set with a new bouquet of flowers; star gazer lilies and white carnations this time. There was a cup of coffee already sitting on the counter for her. She picked it up and blew on it to cool it. Castle turned around and smiled at her.

"Good morning. Sleep well?"

"Amazingly well actually, thank you…"

"Anything for you." He said with a smile as he squeezed past her towards the refrigerator, lightly kissing her forehead as he passed her. Kate bit the corner of her lip and blushed. She couldn't believe how seamlessly their relationship was moving to the next level. Being with him just felt right on some level, and the fact that she felt safe when he was holding her was something that would take some getting used to. As if he could read her mind, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He leaned down and kissed her neck. She turned her head towards him and softly kissed his lips.

"Hm, I could get used to this in the mornings." He whispered as she pulled away.

"Yea well…I might be able to get used to breakfast like this too."

"Are you saying you might be spending more nights at my house Detective?"

"Don't get your hopes up Castle…I'm saying I like your bacon."

She giggled as she stole a piece from the pan and walked out to the kitchen table. He finished cooking breakfast and carried both of their plates to the table.

"So, what's going on for today?"

"Well. The dad is due in on a flight at ten, he should be at the precinct by eleven. I'm hoping Ryan and Esposito can find out some more about Trevor, hopefully enough to get a search warrant. After we speak with the father, I'll probably go talk to the mom and Tony again, depending on where things stand with Trevor. I'm also hoping the tech guys will be done with the laptop and we can go though that and see what we find."

"Busy day. See, aren't you glad you stayed here and got some sleep?"

"You know I am. I've already thanked you."

"I know…I just like to hear you say it."

"That doesn't surprise me. I do have to run home and shower and change. All I need is to show up with you wearing yesterdays clothes."

"You can shower here, I had my mom pick up something for you when she was shopping yesterday. She dropped it off this morning. Its hanging on the back of my bedroom door."

"Castle…you didn't have to buy me new clothes."

"I know I didn't. I wanted to. It makes your morning easier. Now you can just shower here and no one will know the difference."

She huffed and glared at him before getting up from the table and taking her plate to the kitchen. She went to his bedroom and closed the door behind her. The bag hanging from the back of the door has black slacks and a green and black striped button up blouse with three quarter length sleeves. She smiled at how 'her' the outfit really was and realized that Castle knew her better than she thought.

She turned the shower as hot as it would go and cringed, then groaned as she water hit her muscles. She laughed when she reached for the shampoo and found a brand new bottle of the brand she used sitting on the floor. He thought of everything. She finished getting ready and walked back out to the living room.

Castle was already dressed and waiting, a fresh cup of coffee waiting for her.

"I knew that shirt would look amazing on you. The green matches your eyes."

Kate blushed as she took the coffee from him.

"You know what shampoo I use? I'm not sure if I'm flattered…or afraid."

"You could be both."

"I think I might be."

"You ready to go?"

"Not quite yet."

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck as she pulled him down to her and kissed him. He ran his hands through her hair and down her back as he pulled her closer and kissed her back. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip and the kiss moved from playful to passionate. They were both breathless when they pulled away from each other. Castle smiled.

"Wow…"

Kate looked down and bit her bottom lip.

"Yea…and on that note. Before we go…I feel the need to remind you that this." She gestured at the space between them, which was not much, "Can't change things between us at work. There is to be no hand holding, winking, back rubbing or anything like it at the precinct, am I understood?"

"Unfortunately, yes, I understand. But…I do have one question."

"And that is?"

"What if I'm sure no one is looking?"

"Castle…"

"Alright fine…but what if its you that wants to hold my hand in the car?"

Kate thought for a minute. She was getting used to his little comforting touches and actually liked them.

"The car, so long as we are away from the precinct, doesn't count."

"Alright, bending rules already, I like it."

Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head at him as she grabbed her purse and followed him out the door.

* * *

They walked into the precinct just behind Ryan and Esposito.

"Well aren't you two all cozy, showing up together for the past few days. Is that a new shirt Beckett?" Esposito teased as they walked past his desk.

Beckett glared at him as she walked past.

"What's that Esposito? You want to be the first one to re check Victoria's phone records? Not a problem, the job is all yours."

Esposito's mouth dropped open and Castle winked at him as he walked by. Kate caught the wink and raised one eyebrow at him.

"I'm sorry, did you want to help him?"

"Hey, I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to."

Castle sulked off to join Esposito in looking at the phone records again. Even though Kate knew they would most likely discuss her in the process, she needed some time away from Castle. The past few days had been a whirlwind emotionally speaking and she was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she had spent the night with him. Nothing had happened, and that was part of what surprised her. Ever since she told Castle that she might have feelings for him, he seemed to be going out of his was to make sure she was comfortable with the pace of the relationship. It was doing a lot to start to calm her fears that she was just another one of his "conquests," like she had accused him of when they first met.

She wandered down to the morgue, just to see Lanie. She knew it was early enough that she wouldn't be working on a body yet and hoped they could just talk for a second. She could always count on Lanie to put things in perspective without all of Kate's emotional issues getting in the way.

"To what do I owe the pleasure so early this morning?" Lanie asked cheerfully as Kate walked through the doors. Kate walked over and pushed herself up onto the exam table closest to Lanie.

"I stayed at Castle's house last night." She blurted out.

Lanie arched an eyebrow at her, then slowly smiled.

"Oh really?"

"Yes…but not like that."

"Uh huh…"

"No, seriously. He offered to make me dinner so I went home with him. We fell asleep on the couch watching reruns. I woke up at midnight and said I should go. He said I should just stay so we ended up going to bed…NOT like that, just sleeping."

"So…let me get this straight? You end up at the house of one of the most eligible guys in New York City and all you do is sleep? Literally?"

"Yes Lanie."

"Girl, you need to get out more."

Kate huffed and swung her feet as she glared at her friend.

"I didn't come down here so you could tell me I should sleep with him."

"Then…what did you come for? And, just for the record, you should totally sleep with him."

"I came because…I need you to tell me to stop over thinking shit. Last night was…I…don't know when the last time was I felt that way. I was stressed out here and he made me leave, made me dinner and I fell asleep in his arms on the couch as he was rubbing my shoulders. I haven't slept that good in…forever. I hate to admit it, but I actually liked him holding me…I felt safe… for lack of a better word."

"He's good for you Kate."

"I'm starting to think you might be right…and that scares me…feeling this way about him scares me. He's been with so many women, whose to say I'm different, that he won't get bored with me and leave…"

It was Lanie's turn to huff at Kate.

"Have you ever seen the way he looks at you? I seriously doubt he is ever going to get bored with you. I'm not saying to just jump headlong into a relationship with the guy and marry him next week. But let go some Kate. He's been following you around for 2 years now and hasn't gone anywhere, despite the fact that you shoot down any attempt he makes to show you that he cares for you. Give him…give you guys a chance. I know you're scared of getting hurt, but let him past some of those walls. You've already admitted you might like it."

Kate smiled at Lanie. That was the reason she had come to talk to her. She could always count on Lanie's no nonsense outlook on things to help her pull her head out of her ass.

She scooted off the table and gave her a quick hug.

"Thanks Lanie. I can always count on you to kick my ass when I need it.

"Anytime."


	18. Chapter 18

Jake Harding showed up at the precinct just before 11am. The conference rooms were being used, so Beckett took him into the interrogation room. Normally Castle sat in with her while she questioned people, but for some reason she had a feeling questioning the father would go better if she did it alone. Castle reluctantly agreed and pouted as he took his place leaning up against the wall in the observation room; watching though the one way mirror.

Beckett slide out her chair and sat across the table from Victoria's father. He sat with his elbows resting on the table, his head in his hands.

"Mr. Harding, I'm Detective Kate Beckett. I'm so sorry about your loss."

The man wordlessly nodded without looking up at her.

"I have to ask you some questions Mr. Harding."

"Yea, go ahead." He mumbled, still not lifting his head from his hands.

"When is the last time you saw your daughter?"

He seemed to think for a moment, then lifted his head until his eyes met hers. They were red from crying and tears were still silently rolling down his face.

"Last weekend, before her mother and Tony left for the cruise. She came to my house and was supposed to stay for the weekend. We got in a fight, she left mad and crying…"

His voice trailed off as he remembered the last moments he had spent with his daughter. Kate's heart went out to him, but she had to keep asking the questions.

"What was the fight about?"

"Trevor, her boyfriend." Kate noticed the hard edge to his voice as he spoke Trevor's name. It was slight, but it was there. He continued. "I just thought that she spent too much time with him. She was young…I mean, I know she wasn't a little kid anymore, but she wasn't grown up either. They had been together for so long, it was just odd to me."

"Did you know Trevor?"

"Not really well. I spent some time with him, he was a nice kid."

"So why the fighting about him with Victoria?"

"I just didn't think the amount of time she was spending with him was really necessary. It wasn't like her mother ever did anything about it. I just felt like it was my job to make sure she stayed grounded. Its not like high school relationships last forever…"

"Did Trevor ever seem upset by you telling Victoria not to spend so much time with him?"

"Not when I saw him, no."

"Did Trevor and Victoria ever fight?"

"Nothing serious or very dramatic. At least not that she ever told me about. The best way to find that out would be from Haven or Sydney."

"You left town the morning your daughter's body was found. You didn't check on her that morning? Or call to say goodbye?"

"I called, but her cell went straight to voicemail. She never checks them, so I didn't bother leaving one. I figured I would just see her when I got home. She had been annoyed with me anyhow, I thought maybe the time away would be better…"

His voice trailed off as he broke down into tears. His chest heaved as he tried to hold back his emotions and he buried his forehead in his hands again so Kate couldn't see him crying.

"I'm sorry Mr. Harding, just a few more questions." Kate said softly. She wished she had let Castle come in the room. His presence had become comforting to her and she needed that right now. It took a lot of self control for her not to turn to the mirror and wave him into the room.

"Can you think of anyone who would have wanted to hurt Victoria?"

Jake shook his head, almost violently back and forth.

"No, not at all. She was really good about getting along with everyone…"

"How was her relationship with her mother, and Tony?"

"She was very close to her mother. She never mentioned Tony much, other than she liked that he made her mom happy. Tony is a good guy, he tried to get to know her but Victoria wasn't very open with new people. She got a long with people, but let very few people in… if that makes sense."

Kate nodded slowly. She understood how that felt, more than he knew.

"Thank you Mr Harding, that's all for now. I may need to get in touch with you again in the near future. Do you have any more conferences planed?"

"No, I don't. If I get called away for some reason I will be sure that you have my contact information."

"Thank you, that would be helpful."

Jake nodded tensely as Ryan opened the door to the interrogation room to lead him out. He slid back from the table and left the room without looking back at Kate. She waited until the door clicked shut before running her hands through her hair and taking a deep breath. She took a moment to replay the interview in her head, scribbling down notes as she did so. She rubbed the heel of her hands against her temples. She had to get a hold of herself. Her emotions were running way to high and she couldn't let them. She slid back from the table and walked out of the room. Castle was standing outside of the door and shot her a concerned look as she walked past him towards the bullpen. She couldn't let herself stop and tell him she was okay. It would be too easy to let him comfort her. Until she found a way to balance her emotions for him at work, it was easier to avoid the situation.

He looked surprised that she didn't stop to talk to him, but he followed her down the hallway.

"You okay?" He asked softly when he caught up with her.

"Yea Castle, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? I was just questioning someone."

"I…umm…just checking."

She nodded at him and felt bad about brushing him off. She pushed the emotion out of her head as she reached Ryan and Esposito's desk.

"Please tell me Trevor is some sort of computer genius."

"Trevor is some sort of computer genius." Esposito quipped back. Kate arched an eyebrow at him.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." Ryan rolled his chair over to her "The kid has been in computer classes since the 6th grade. He's taken summer courses at college, he's worked for a computer company."

"So, could he have stripped that laptop?"

"He probably could build you a new one from a toothbrush, dental floss and duct tape."

"Great, lets get that warrant."

"Already on it."

Kate smiled at them, despite the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She walked over to her desk and sat down to organize her notes from the interview with the father into the case file. Ryan and Esposito went into the room with the murder board and Castle sat down next to her. His leg brushed against hers under her desk and she jumped at the unexpected contact. He cocked his head sideways at her.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes Castle, I'm fine."

"Alright. So, how long til we get the search warrant?"

"You know how it goes. It could be sometime today, it could be tomorrow."

"I could call the judge."

"No."

"Oh come on. This is the only lead we have. And if he hasn't gotten rid of the cell phone already we're just giving him more time…"

Kate glared at him, then huffed. He was right. But she hated him using his celebrity status to help on cases. She really didn't want to loose this one though.

"Fine. Call him."

Castle was beaming as he walked out of the room, his phone already up to his ear.

Much to Kate's disgust Castle's phone call to the judge had worked and they were in the car on the way to Trevor's house to hopefully find Victoria's cell phone. Castle kept shooting concerned looks towards her side of the car.

"What is it Castle?"

"Nothing…just trying to figure out why you're pushing me away so much."

"I told you, things can't change at work."

"I know that…its just…I want you to be able to lean on me." He spoke quietly and Kate glanced over at him. The look on his face completely melted her resolve. She reached over and put her hand on his.

"I know I can lean on you Castle. You've always been there when I needed you. That hasn't changed. I just…I've got to learn how to balance this, okay? Don't take it personally if I seem distant sometimes."

He squeezed her hand and smiled.

"Okay. I'm sorry if I seem…clingy. I just don't want to mess this up."

Kate smiled. It was those type of comments that made him so easy to fall for. Little moments that reminded her that witty, sarcastic, charismatic, charming Richard Castle had insecure moments too. She squeezed his hand back but didn't say anything. She let the silence speak for itself, and he seemed to understand. He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it before letting their joined hands rest on his thigh.

They pulled up to Trevor's house and Castle squeezed her hand one last time before they got out of the car. She smiled briefly at him; it was a strained smile and he could see her tension in the way she carried herself. She took a deep breath before walking up the steps and knocking on the door. It was always a catch twenty two in these situations. She always hoped they found evidence; enough to solve the case. At the same time she never wanted someone to be guilty of murder. The fact was that someone always was.

Trevor wasn't home but his mother, upon looking over the warrant, let them in without much protest. Kate heard her call Trevor as they opened the door to the boys room. They had already pulled on gloves as they walked down the hallway. They began their search without speaking. They had worked so many crime scenes together that direction was not needed. They each took a side of the room and went to work.

Castle slid open the closest door and began digging through the mess on the floor. It was a typical boys closet; dirty clothes, sports equipment, towels, a few duffle bags full of more sports stuff. There was so much junk on the closet floor that he almost missed the small box in the very back corner. He put one knee on the closet floor and stretched for it. It was a metal box, like the ones Christmas cookies sometimes came in. He pried the lid off and inside, in a zip lock baggie wrapped in a towel was a blackberry cell phone. Castle hit the power button and the phones screen lit up. After a few seconds the background picture became visible and Castle was staring at a picture of Victoria kissing Trevor on the cheek.

"Got it." He said, holding the phone, screen facing out, towards Beckett. She spun away from the desk drawer she had been digging though and walked over to Castle. She briefly hesitated before taking the phone from Castle's hand. She looked at the screen and sighed.

"Looks like Trevor has some more questions to answer."


	19. Chapter 19

Castle and Beckett watched Trevor through the one way mirror of the observation room. The teenager could not sit still. He was nervously jiggling his leg up and down under the table and every thirty seconds or so he would run his hand though his hair or chew on a fingernail.

"Do you really think he did it?" Esposito asked from behind them.

"I don't know. It certainly seems that it could be him." Beckett answered quietly.

"So young…" Esposito shook his head sadly. Beckett took a breath and squared her shoulders.

"Ready?" Her question was directed at Castle, though she didn't turn to him when she spoke.

"Lead the way."

He followed her into the interrogation room where they both walked in and sat down without saying a word. Castle leaned back in his chair, Beckett leaned closer to Trevor across the table. She put the zip lock bag with Victoria's cell phone in it on the table. It landed with a clack and Trevor visibly flinched.

"Why did you lie to me Trevor?" Beckett said, her voice quiet and even toned. Castle loved watching her in the interrogation room. It was her room; physically and mentally she owned it. The skill with which she could switch between emotions never failed to amaze him. She could go from being sympathetic to outraged and accusatory in the blink of an eye. Whatever it took to get people to answer her truthfully.

Trevor sputtered as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to avoid the glare coming from Beckett's brilliant green eyes.

"I-um-it-I didn't know what else to do." He finally stammered, looking at his hands as he did so.

"You didn't know what else to do?"

He shook his head slowly.

"What really happened that night Trevor?"

"I told you what happened that night. That was the truth."

"Only you left out the part about taking her cell phone and texting yourself from it to make it look like she was still alive. When in reality she was bleeding to death in her bathtub." Beckett's voice rose for the last sentence.

"No! She was alive when I left!"

"Why should I believe you Trevor?"

"Because it's the truth. I never would have hurt her…" His voice broke as he choked back tears.

"Oh, like the part about you not knowing where her cell phone was, when we found it hidden in your closet." Castle added. Trevor's eyes flew to him, almost as thought he had forgotten anyone but Beckett was in the room.

"I told you, I didn't know what else to do…"

"Why would you need to take her cell phone, and send a text message to yourself, if she were alive like you claim she was." Beckett countered.

Trevor starting shutting down and Beckett could see it. He started to curl in on himself and she realized that the rough cop routine wasn't going to get her anywhere with him. She switched gears.

"What happened to her Trevor? Whatever you did can't be as bad as murder. From where I sit right now, it looks like you killed her. See, my version of the story is this. You two had a fight, about whatever was on her lap top that you didn't want anyone to see. She refused to get rid of it, and you couldn't have that. So you went to her house, just to talk, but she wouldn't listen, would she? She even threatened to tell people if you erased it. She knew you were capable of wiping that computer clean and she swore she would say something if you did. So you drugged her. You waited until she was asleep, then you wiped her computer clean. You carried her to the bathtub where you slit her wrists and left her to die. You figured everyone would think she had killed herself. Maybe over her mom getting married, or being pregnant, or maybe just because she was sad. No one understands teenage girls anyways, right? And then, you took her cell phone and sent a text to yourself that way you had proof that she was alive after you left."

Trevor was violently shaking his head no as tears started streaming down his face but Beckett continued her story in the same low tone of voice, her eyes never leaving his.

"The only problem, the only thing you overlooked, was the intelligence of my people. You see Trevor, my tech team was able to recover what was on that laptop. With that they were able to tell me what time it was wiped clean, which was at eleven ten. You said you left at eleven thirty. That means either you or Victoria wiped her laptop clean, and with what you know about computers, my bet is on you. Do I have everything right so far?"

"No!" Trevor screamed and slammed his fist down onto the table. Castle jumped but Beckett never wavered. She leaned towards him and raised her voice a little bit.

"Then tell me what happened Trevor. You can't help her if you don't tell me what happened."

Trevor ran both of his hands through his hair and rested his forehead in his palms. Beckett could see that he was about to break. She subtly shifted in her chair and flicked her eyes towards Castle; a small cue for him to stay quiet. After a few seconds, Trevor spoke quietly.

"It started about a week ago with an email."

"From who?"

"I don't know. They all came from different email addresses, and the email address I was to respond to was different every time too."

"What did it say?"

"The first one asked me if I was interested in a quick way to make fifteen thousand dollars. The instructions were to respond with one word: yes or no, to a different email address. God, I was stupid. But I thought it was a joke or something, so I responded yes."

"And then what?"

"The next email came a few days later and it had the…details."

"Which were?"

Trevor looked up at her from between his arms. She raised one eyebrow at him and he blew out a long breath before continuing.

"I was supposed to drug Victoria. Once she was asleep I was to erase everything on her laptop and make it so it could not be retrieved. Then I was supposed to leave. That was it. They assured me that the drugs would just make Victoria pass out until morning, they wouldn't hurt her. I swear to you, she was alive when I left her house. She was asleep on her bed…I couldn't have…"

He broke off sobbing again. Beckett paid no attention.

"How did you get the drugs?"

"It was the first part. They left them, along with the first half of the cash in a bag on my porch that morning. They said the other half would be in the mailbox when I got home from Victoria's."

"And was it?"

"Yes. Just cash, no envelope."

"So you just gave your girlfriend drugs that god knows who left in a bag on your porch? Who knows what you gave her."

"I didn't even think of that…." He looked genuinely shocked at the implication.

"But you were willing to drug her. What was on her laptop?"

"I have no idea. I didn't have time to look. They said they would be watching, and if I was in the house any longer than necessary, I wouldn't get the money and they would ruin my life."

"Wow, some boyfriend you are."

Trevor bristled at the comment.

"I loved her. I needed the money. If I could take it back I would."

"You _needed_ the money?" Beckett asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Yes. My little brother has been sick. His medical bills are thought the roof. My parents struggle every month just to pay the rent."

"And you didn't think your parents would ask where you randomly got fifteen thousand dollars?"

"I made an anonymous donation to my brothers charity fund. They use it to pay down his bills. They never knew where it came from."

"You already did it?"

"Yes, the next day…I was on my way back from the hospital when I found out about Victoria."

Beckett looked hard into Trevor's eyes as she stood up.

"We're going to need to see your laptop."

"Of course."


	20. Chapter 20

Fluffy...its just fluffy. 3 lol

I'm sure there are some mistakes, technically speaking. I am aware of that. Just roll with it ;) Comments are loved, and if you have read this whole story, I thank you 3

Later that night, after everyone but Castle had left, Beckett stood staring at the murder board. The tech team had gone through Trevor's computer and confirmed that he was telling the truth about the emails. They hadn't been able to trace any of them. The email addresses they came from were all one use email addresses, all coming from different sources. It was the same for the email addresses he had been instructed to respond to. The hospital confirmed the fifteen thousand dollar donation to Trevor's brother's charity fund that morning. The security footage clearly showed Trevor walking into the hospital. Lanie said that based on the time of death, Victoria's wrists probably weren't actually cut until sometime between midnight and two am. Beckett had reluctantly let Trevor leave. She had filled in the time line and gone over the case files. The truth was that until the tech team was able to completely recover Victoria's laptop, they were at a standstill. She had to keep looking, to make sure she hadn't missed anything. Ryan and Esposito had gone and spoken with Amber and Tony again. Their story was staying consistent and it didn't seem like they had any connection to her murder.

Beckett leaned against the table and sighed. She ran her hand though her hair, pushing it out of her face, then crossed her arms in front of her. Castle leaned against the table next to her, his shoulder touching hers. She leaned into the contact and he smiled.

"Everyone is gone." He said softly. Her quick glance around the room confirmed his statement and she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"I don't want to loose this one Castle. That girl didn't deserve this, and whoever did it doesn't deserve to get away with it. I just can't…"

"I know. And we will find them." She smiled at his using we and he continued. "I don't understand why Trevor would take orders like that from a complete stranger."

"Me either."

"Wait…didn't he say the drugs were left on his porch?"

"Ryan and Esposito already talked to neighbors. No one remembers seeing anyone out of the ordinary leaving anything at Trevor's house. Not the drugs, or the second half of the money."

Castle sighed. "Didn't the tech guys say they were able to recover some stuff?"

"Yea, programs. Nothing in depth yet. They are hoping for tomorrow."

"Then lets call it a night. You need to sleep. Do you want to stay at my place again?"

Kate hesitated. The offer was tempting, especially since she didn't really want to be alone. Castle sensed her hesitation.

"It's okay, maybe next time."

She nodded against his shoulder and he took her hand and pulled her up from the table and they walked to the elevator. Kate was quiet on the drive to his loft. He held her hand, rubbing soft circles on the back with his thumb. They got to his loft and he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before he got out of the car.

"Text me when you get home? Please? So I know you're okay."

"Castle…I carry a gun."

"Yes, I know. Text me anyway?"

"Fine. Good night Castle."

She drove home and went up to her apartment in a fog, not really remembering doing it. She numbly pulled on pajama pants and a shirt and crawled into bed. Her eyelids were heavy but she knew she probably wouldn't sleep. She picked up her phone and text Castle.

**I'm home. Goodnight.**

His response was almost immediate.

**Thank you. Goodnight**.

She smiled as she rolled onto her side and wrapped the covers around her. She drifted in and out of a restless sleep for an hour before she finally slept. It was a deep sleep, but she jolted awake a few hours later panicking from a nightmare. She flung the blankets off of her as she sat upright, gasping for breath. There were tears running down her face but she didn't remember crying. She balled her hands into fists in the sheet next to her as she tried to control her panic. She was used to nightmares. She used to have them often in the years following her mothers murder, but they had trickled to almost a stop. This one was the worst one she'd had in a while. She glanced at the clock; 11:30. She shuffled into the kitchen and got a glass of water. She noticed her hands shaking as she reached for the glass. It was then that she realized her whole body was shaking. She sunk down on the sofa knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep. She pulled her cell phone out of her pants pocket and noticed there was a text message. It was from Castle, about five minutes after he told her goodnight.

**Wish you were here**.

She smiled, then sighed. She wished she were there too. On impulse she responded.

**Me too**

As soon as she hit send her heart raced. What was wrong with her? She never said things like that. She jumped when her phone vibrated with his response.

**You're still awake?**

**Not still, again. I can't sleep.**

He took a few minutes to reply. When it came though she was wary about reading it.

**Want company? I can be there in ten minutes.**

Her hands were still shaking as she responded.

**Come on over.**

She hit send and took a deep breath. Part of her brain was screaming at her that she was being stupid. The other part of her, the part she didn't like to listen to because it scared her, admitted that she wanted him there with her.

He knocked softly on her door almost exactly ten minutes later. She smiled shyly as she opened the door. He had two cups of hot chocolate and was wearing sweat pants and a the t shirt she had been wearing the night before at his house. He was smiling, but his face fell when he saw hers.

"Are you okay? You look like you've been crying?"

He moved past her and sat the hot chocolate on the table. She locked the door and when she turned around he was right in front of her.

"What's wrong?"

She bit her bottom lip and looked at the floor.

"Nightmares." She answered quietly. "I…have them sometimes. They don't usually bother me but this one…did."

"What was it?"

" I don't know, I don't always remember them…I just…wake up. Sometimes crying, sometimes shaking, sometimes just panicked. Sometimes….all of the above."

He reached for her hand and pulled her into his embrace. The action surprised her and brought on a whole new flood of emotions. She curled into him, her head resting on his chest. He ran his hands up and down her arms.

"You're still shaking…"

"I'm okay." She whispered. She wasn't sure if she was talking to him, or to herself. He ran his hands though her hair and tilted her head back as he leaned down to kiss her. She sighed as he briefly kissed her lips, then her forehead, then down the side of her neck and onto her bare shoulder where the t-shirt had slipped sideways. His hands ran down her sides and slipped them under the t-shirt to rest on her hips as he pulled her closer. His kisses trailed back up her shoulder and neck and back to her lips. His kiss was soft and sweet and she leg out a shaky sigh and leaned against him as he pulled away. He rested his chin on her head.

"You aren't shaking anymore." He whispered. She could hear the smile in his voice.

"No, I guess I'm not."

"Come on, lets get you to bed. You need to sleep." He took her forearm and led her to the bed room.

"I won't sleep."

"Oh, somehow I think you will."

He led the way to her bedroom and playfully bounced onto her bed. He moved over to one side and flipped the blankets over him. He turned on the TV to the same channel they were watching at his house. It was Brandy Bunch re runs. He laid on his back, his head propped up on pillows, and patted the bed next to him. She shook her head softly, not believing she was going to be climbing into bed with Richard Castle for the second night in a row. She climbed into bed and pulled the blankets over her. She laid curled on her side, facing him. Her eyes started to drift shut and she realized she was shaking again. Her eyes flew open. He looked over at her.

"Come here." He motioned to the spot next to him. She scooted over until she was pressed up against him, her head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her and started softly tracing patterns on her back. He increased the pressure until he was slowly massaging her back. He felt her relax against him.

"Castle." She muttered, half asleep.

"Hm?"

"Thank you…for coming."

"Anything for you." He kissed her forehead softly as her eyes fluttered closed.

A few hours later, Kate woke up crying again. The panic wasn't as strong this time, but she couldn't stop the crying. Castle slept soundly next to her and she was glad that she had ended up moving farther away from him when she slept. She quietly rolled over and curled in a ball facing away from him. She pulled the covers up over her head and concentrated on controlling her breathing. She felt herself shaking and hoped that Castle didn't wake up. A few minutes later, when she almost had herself back under control, she felt him shift in the bed next to her.

"You okay?" He asked quietly.

"Yea." She managed to force the word out.

She felt him move closer, not touching her, but almost. His hand traced random patterns on her back and she felt herself relaxing. Neither one of them said anything or moved any closer to each other. He just kept softly rubbing her back until she drifted back to sleep again.

* * *

Kate woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon. She opened one eye, then the other. Then she remembered that Castle had come over after her first nightmare. She rolled over on her back and stared at the ceiling. What was wrong with her? Having him come over in the middle of the night was ridiculous. She was letting him get to her too much. Then she remembered his concern when he realized why she couldn't sleep, and him just rubbing her back until she fell back to sleep the second time. Most people would have pressed her to talk about it, but Castle understood. She smiled as she rolled out of bed and decided she was over thinking the whole thing. What was done was done and the smell of bacon was making her hungry.

She shuffled out to the kitchen and Castle was cooking. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Where did you find bacon?"

"Certainly not in that refrigerator. I went to the store early."

"Yea…I eat out a lot."

"I see that. Anyhow, you're just in time. Breakfast is ready."

She laughed as she made her way into the kitchen and served herself a plate. Castle looked offended.

"Castle…you are not waiting on me in my own house."

"Fine, but you're not waiting on me."

"Fine."

She rolled her eyes at him as she moved to the couch and sat with one leg tucked up underneath her. It was then that she realized that he was already dressed for the day.

"Did you go home and change?"

"Yes."

"How did you get back in here?"

"I…took your keys."

"You took my keys?"

"Yes…I didn't want to wake you up, and I also didn't want you to wake up alone…so I got up early, took your keys, went home and to the store and came back. I did text you in case you woke up and I was gone."

Kate just stared at him. She hadn't checked her phone when she woke up but had no doubts that the text was there. Castle mistook her stare for her being upset.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked, its just…"

"Castle…its okay. I'm not upset. Surprised, yes, upset, no."

"Surprised? Why?"

Kate shrugged and poked at her eggs with her fork to avoid looking at him.

"That you would go though all that trouble just to be here to make me breakfast when I woke up. It's just…sweet."

He flashed his typical, dazzling Richard Castle smile at her.

"Are my attempts to charm you working Detective?"

She laughed and threw her napkin at him.

"And then you have to go and ruin the moment."

She looked back down at her plate and he reached across the couch and put his finger under her chin, tilting her head up until she was looking into his eyes.

"What you call sweet Beckett, is what I call doing what you deserve." He spoke quietly, his blue eyes serious, their intensity made her look away, blushing.

"Thank you." She muttered.

"You're welcome."


	21. Chapter 21

When they arrived at the precinct Ryan and Esposito were already there, looking irritated.

"The tech guys finished with the laptop..." Ryan started the sentence.

"But it was worthless anyways, there is nothing on there that is important. Typical teenage stuff; book reports, projects, stuff like that. Nothing worth killing someone over." Esposito finished.

Beckett huffed as she sat down at her desk.

"Seriously? Why would someone pay Trevor fifteen thousand dollars to erase a computer with nothing on it? We have to be missing something."

"Tech spent days on that, you really think they missed something?" Esposito asked. Beckett knew they were all frustrated by the lack of leads in the case, so she let the sarcasm slide.

"That's then only thing that makes sense. If we are assuming that the person who killed her is the same person who paid Trevor, then our biggest clue had to have been on that laptop. Why else would someone pay so much to have it erased."

"What if," Castle started. It was the way he started most of his theories and everyone turned their attention to him, "Victoria removed what was on the laptop before she died? That book we found, we assumed it was to hide a diary, but what if it wasn't. What kid would go though so much just to hide a diary? What if she made a copy of whatever was on her laptop and was hiding the CD in there?"

Beckett tilted her head slightly as she looked at him and contemplated this theory.

"Maybe... But that still doesn't get us any closer to a suspect. We have no idea who found whatever was in that book."

"Maybe no one found it. Maybe she gave it to someone. Sydney and Haven both seemed like they were hiding something. Maybe we should talk to them again?"

"Well, it can't hurt. Road trip?"

"Can I drive?"

"Yea, right. I'll even let you carry a gun."

"Hey, it was worth a shot. If we end up having to use the siren, can I at least flip the switch?"

His comment got a laugh out of all three of them. It was little moments like that when Beckett was glad he was around. He managed to lighten the mood most days just when they needed it. Their job was stressful, and at times emotional. Castle managed to make it a little more fun. She grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair and headed towards the elevator.

"Come on Castle. Ryan, Esposito. Check the parents financials, see if anything pops. That fifteen thousand had to come from somewhere, it doesn't hurt to look into the people closest to her. Check Tony while you're at it. Have the lab double check that book for prints. I know they already did it, but tell them to go over it with a fine tooth comb. I also need the shoe size of the print that was on the rug."

"On it." Ryan and Esposito answered together.

"Thanks guys."

Beckett and Castle headed towards the elevator. Ryan and Esposito headed in different directions to work on the tasks Beckett had given them. Beckett had a renewed sense of determination. Castle could see it in the way she carried herself. He smiled at her as the elevator doors slid shut.

"What are you smiling at?"

"You."

"Why?"

"You're beautiful when you're focused."

She rolled her eyes and looked away from him so he wouldn't see the blush making its way up her neck. He reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Don't doubt yourself. You're going to catch the son of a bitch that did this."

She squeezed his hand back briefly before pulling away as the elevator doors opened.

"We."

"What?" He followed her out of the elevator, confused.

"You said I am going to catch the son of a bitch that did this. You're right, but it's not just me. We are going to catch the son of a bitch who did this. Of that I have no doubt."

Haven wasn't at home, her parents said she had gone back to school. They decided to stop by Sydney's house before trying the school. Sydney had stayed home and she was hesitant, but let them in. They followed her into her bedroom because she said she would prefer to be there other than anywhere else in then house. She sat on the edge of her bed. Beckett sat next to her, towards the end of the bed and Castle sat in a fuzzy purple camping chair that was in the corner of the room. Sydney pulled a blanket around her and clutched a stuffed giraffe to her chest. Beckett looked around the room. The walls were plastered with pictures of Haven, Trevor, Victoria and Sydney; some were framed and some were just stuck to the walls. Some had caption stickers on them, others had sharpie messages scrawled on them. Kate glanced at the mirror and saw the message Sydney said Victoria wrote there. She turned to Sydney and spoke softly, choosing her words carefully because the girl looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Sydney...I know this week has been awful, but I have a few more things I need to ask you, okay?"

"Yea..." Her answer was hesitant, as if she wasn't sure her voice would come out when she spoke.

"I need to know if you can think of anything at all that Victoria had been upset about, even if it was months ago and she seemed like she was over it. Even if it seems small and insignificant."

Sydney shook her head no.

"No there is nothing she was upset about or no you can't tell me."

Sydney's eyes flew to Beckett's, they were a mixture of shock and terror. Beckett realized she hit the nail on the head and had to be careful or the girl would never talk to her. She moved slightly closer.

"Sydney...I know you don't want to tell us something that you think will get Victoria in trouble, or something that you swore you would never tell anyone. She was your best friend, but she was more than that wasn't she? She was your rock. The one person you could go to with anything and she was always there for you. She could always make everything seem okay and she never made you feel stupid about your feelings. And you think that now, by telling us things she never wanted anything to know, that you are betraying her somehow."

As Beckett spoke Sydney's precariously controlled bubble of emotions burst. The tears started streaming down her face and she buried it in the stuffed giraffe.

"I miss her so much. She wasn't supposed to leave me! She swore she would always be here for me, no matter what!" Her words were muffled by the stuffed animal but Beckett could still hear the anguish in them. She reached over and softly rubbed Sydney's back until the girl had stopped sobbing so violently.

"I know you miss her, and I know you're angry at her for leaving you. But Sydney, it wasn't her choice to leave. Someone did this to her, and the best way to help her is to tell us everything you know. The only way we can catch whoever did this is if we know everything, otherwise, we don't have a chance."

Beckett let the weight of her statement settle with Sydney. The girl was on the verge of telling them something. One push in the wrong direction could make her clam up and not speak at all. Beckett shot a quick look at Castle who was sitting silently in the fuzzy purple chair. His eyes were focused on Sydney, but she could tell he knew better than to speak. Sydney took a deep, shaky breath and then started to speak; her voice, at first, was hardly louder than a whisper.

"She told me…five or six months ago…that she found out her dad isn't really her dad."

Beckett tried not to let the shock register on her face.

"Did she tell you how she found out?"

"No…just that she knew he wasn't, and she wanted to know who was. She said she had a plan to figure it out…but she never told me what it was."

"Did anyone else know?"

"I don't know. She told me not to mention it to anyone, and I never did. She might have told Haven, or Trevor, but I have no idea. A few months after that she was telling me that she found out her dad wasn't who she thought he was. She seemed…sad. I asked her what she meant and she never really said. She just said that he wasn't the same person she thought, and that her life wasn't the only one he had messed up."

"Did she act any differently after she told you those things?"

"No. She seemed like she was working though whatever it was. I never asked her about it because…well…she didn't really talk about stuff like that very much an I didn't want to push it, ya know? Now I wish I would have."

"Sydney, did Victoria give you anything recently? Anything at all? A gift maybe?"

"Um…no. Oh, wait. A few months ago she burned a CD for me and Haven. It was a mix of all of our favorite songs from the summer. She borrowed my copy about a month ago. She said her itunes messed up and she wanted the songs back. She gave it back to me about a week ago."

"Can you find it for me?"

"Uh, sure…"

Sydney got up and dug through a few of her desk drawers before bringing back a CD case. She handed it to Beckett. She opened it slowly and there was a CD labeled "Summer Mix" on top. She pulled the CD off the middle holder and there was a blank, white disk underneath it.

"That wasn't there before." Sydney said, sounding surprised.

"Any idea what might be on it?"

"No, not at all."

"Do you mind if we take it?"

"Will you give it back…if its…personal?"

"If its not important to the case, I will personally bring it back to you tomorrow. I promise."

"Then sure, take it."

"Thank you Sydney. Can you think of anything else we need to know?"

"No…that's all I know. Haven might know more, or Trevor. Victoria…was protective of me. I think that's why she didn't come to me with her problems. She was so used to me coming to her with mine."

Beckett smiled sadly at Sydney. She could tell the girl was really reeling from the loss of her best friend.

"You've been a lot of help Sydney. If you need to talk…about anything…please call me."

"Thank you Detective Beckett. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Does it get easier? The hurt? You said you know what it feels like to loose someone. I can tell it was someone who meant a lot to you…and I just want to know."

Beckett blinked at the girl, a little surprised at the insight she had.

"Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. There will be days when it is easier, a lot easier. Then there will be days when it hurts again, just as bad at it does today. What you learn, is that you can make it though. Even the worst days. I know right now it doesn't seem that way. But you can."

Sydney looked at her, contemplating her words for a while before smiling.

"Thank you…for telling me the truth."

Kate smiled. "Of course."

Castle got up and wordlessly followed Kate to the car. He brushed past her briefly, placing his hand in the small of her back as he did. Kate subconsciously leaned into his touch and he let his hand trail around the side of her hip as he moved past her to open the front door.


	22. Chapter 22

They got in the car and Kate let out the breathe she had been holding. It came out in a long sigh and Castle looked at her, one eyebrow raised. She started the car without speaking to him; she was lost in her own thoughts and he knew enough to let her be. She drove with one hand on the wheel and the other absentmindedly twirling a piece of her hair around her finger. Castle smiled at the unconscious habit she wasn't always aware she had. She did it when she was nervous, and when she was thinking. He found it adorable either way but knew better than to tell her that.

She stopped twirling her hair and dropped that hand back down to the steering wheel.

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that." She said quietly.

"Yea, me either. Poor kid."

"Which one?"

"Well…both of them. Victoria for obvious reasons, and Sydney for having to hold all of that in. Its so sad when kids feel like they can't go to their parents with their problems. They end up telling their friends some pretty heavy stuff sometimes. Being a teenager is hard enough. Add to that carrying around some of your friend's darkest secrets and it would seem almost impossible. I'm glad Alexis talks to me."

Kate looked at him and smiled. She was so used to him being immature, outrageous, generally annoying, usually charming, always well intentioned Castle. Recently she had been getting to see the other side of him. The side that was fiercely loyal, incredibly thoughtful and giving, sweet, and caring. The side that was the loving father and son. The more she saw of this side of him, the more she found herself falling for him. He noticed her looking at him.

"What?"

"Nothing. Its just nice to see that side of you sometimes."

"What side?"

"The responsible adult, caring father side. Its refreshing."

"I try to keep that side of me in its proper box, but it escapes sometimes, despite my best efforts."

Kate laughed as she pulled the car into a parking spot at the high school.

"And now for Haven. I have a feeling she'll be tougher to crack."

"Do you think she knows anything?"

"I'm guessing she knows the same thing as Sydney, possibly in more detail. It will be harder to get her to talk."

"Well, if anyone can do it, its you."

"What's with the flattery today Castle?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about. There is no flattery involved, simply the truth."

"Uh huh, sure."

"It may have something to do with hoping you'll come for dinner tonight…and maybe stay for breakfast."

She bit the inside of her bottom lip and took a breath to quiet the butterflies that were suddenly fluttering around in her stomach.

"Castle…"

"What? I'm not going to lie, I like waking up next to you." He reached forward and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, his finger trailing along her jawbone as he pulled his hand away. She shivered, just barely, but he noticed and smiled.

"We'll see."

He beamed at her as he opened the car door.

"Well, it's not no, which is better than I expected."

Beckett laughed and shook her head at him as she climbed out of the car. She wasn't sure what she was thinking even considering going to his house for dinner again. She would be lying to herself if she didn't admit she had even considered the staying for breakfast part. She was finding it easier to slip into a relationship with Castle than she had imagined it would be. Castle was going out of his way to let her take her time and do things her way, which she appreciated. It was nice to know that there was someone there is she needed to lean on him. Not that she would admit that she needed to lean on him very often, but it was nice knowing he would be there if she did. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before heading into the high school. Castle looked over at her as they walked. The fact that she was completely oblivious to just how beautiful she really was always amazed him.

He could see the change in her face as she literally became Detective Beckett. He had always known there was a difference, but the more time he spent with her as Kate, the more obvious the change became. He moved closer to her as they walked, his shoulder brushing against hers. He slid his arm around her waist and squeeze briefly.

"You ready?"

She arched one eyebrow at him as she playfully glared at him from the corner of her eyes, a smile playing on the edge of her lips.

"Yes are you?"

"Of course."

His hand dropped from around her waist and for a second Kate was sad that he had let go. Then she focused on the job ahead.

* * *

Haven sat across the table from Beckett, her hazel eyes locked on the floor in front of her chair. Beckett knew from the last time that they spoke that Haven would be harder to break. She also figured Haven probably knew more. She waited for the girl to show some sign of weakness; a movement, a nervous glance, something. She had to give the girl credit, she was tough. After a few minutes under Beckett's steady gaze Haven finally flinched. She nervously glanced up to see what Beckett was doing, then quickly looked away again when she saw that she was being watched.

"Haven. I need you to talk to me. I know you didn't tell me everything you know, and we need to know."

Beckett could see Haven clench and unclench her jaw as she thought. She looked up and met Beckett's gaze dead on.

"Had Victoria been upset about anything lately. Not just in the past few weeks, but any time over the past six months or so?"

"I already told you people, no. She had been fine."

"Dammit Haven, stop LIEING to me!" Beckett slammed her fit against the table and stood up, leaning across so she was closer to Haven's face.

"I know you know something. Here is the thing, I can't find who murdered your best friend unless you help me. Unless you all help me. So, you need to tell me what you know."

Castle jumped in his seat when Beckett's fist hit the table. To Haven's credit she didn't even blink. She glared up at Beckett, her eyes cold and angry.

"Why should I? What makes you think she would have wanted you to know? If she wanted you to know, she would have gone to the cops when she first found out."

"Had she come to the cops when she first found out, she wouldn't be dead Haven." Beckett spoke quietly and Haven sputtered. Her rock hard façade crumbled for a minute at the blunt mentioning of her friends death. Tears threatened to fill her eyes and then as quickly as it happened, it was gone.

"You don't know that."

"You're right, I don't. What I do know, is I am never going to catch who did this unless I know everything. Now, you can do this the easy way, here, or I can drag you back down to the 12th precinct in hand cuffs."

Haven smiled.

"You can't arrest me for no reason. I'm a minor. So unless you have proof of something, or a reason to drag me down there, I'm done talking to you. I'll be telling my parents that I no longer wish to speak with you without a lawyer."

Beckett leaned back in her chair and motioned towards the door with her hand.

"Fine, go. I'll contact your parents to speak with you next time. Just know that you are walking out that door making it even harder for us to catch the person who killed your best friend."

Haven rolled her eyes at Beckett as she stood up and headed for the door. She was about to walk though it when Castle spoke quietly.

"She was right to choose you Haven." She stopped and slowly turned back to him.

"What?"

"Victoria. She was right to pick you as her secret keeper. She was worried when she came to you. Scared even. She wasn't sure there was anyone she could tell and you promised her, you swore, that whatever it was. It was safe with you. It would always be safe with you, no matter what happened. Didn't you?" Castle spoke in a low, silky voice that he often used for book readings. Beckett knew first hand how that voice could suck you in. It seemed to be working its magic with Haven, she moved closer to Castle, nodding slowly.

"So she told you everything. But the longer she talked about it the more you wondered if you could keep it to yourself. You started to understand why she was scared. You got scared. You tried to tell her to tell someone, but she freaked out. She said you promised and you had to keep it, so you did. You never told a soul. And now, now its even more important because you're the only one who knows the whole story."

A few tears slowly slid down Haven's cheeks as she nodded. Castle looked at her, his blue eyes meeting hers.

"Secrets are heavy things Haven. They can destroy you. They destroyed Victoria. Don't let them destroy you too. We can help you, if you just tell us."

Haven seemed to contemplate his words for a minute and Beckett thought he had done it. Then Haven squared her shoulders again and headed for the door.

"You don't get it, I can't." She muttered.

"Well, when you need someone, we'll be here."

He called after her as she stormed out the door. As soon as she was out of sight he rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands, his fingers digging into his hear.

"Dammit." He muttered then looked up at Beckett.

"I'm sorry."

She blinked at him then shook her head.

"Sorry?"

"Yea, I should have…gotten her to tell us."

"Castle…the interrogating is supposed to be my job. That was amazing. You got to her more than I did. You have nothing to be sorry for. Besides, I think she'll break soon. You really hit the nail on the head with her. She doesn't like keeping the secret anymore."

He sighed heavily as he stood up. "I still feel like I should have done it."

Beckett smiled at him as she headed towards the door. She squeezed his arm as she walked past him.

"You did great. Come one, lets head back to the precinct, see what's on that disk."

Once they were back in the car his phone chirped that he had a text message. He read it quickly.

"Alexis wants to know if you're coming for dinner."

She looked over at him, eyes wide.

"Excuse me? Alexis?"

"Yes, you know, my daughter. Red hair, blue eyes, super smart. Lives in my house."

"Yes Castle, I know who she is but…why does she want to know if I'm coming for dinner?"

"She…likes you?"

"Castle."

"Okay okay, I told her we were…us."

"You…told her?"

"Yes. I didn't want it to be weird for you. I didn't want to have to keep coming up with reasons for them to leave the house so I told her and my mother. They were both ecstatic by the way. It was Alexis's idea to invite you tonight. The part about staying for breakfast was my add on. Its comfort food night."

"Comfort food night?"

"Yes. Mac N Cheese, mashed potatoes, ice cream, shakes. You name it, I'll make it. We usually watch some kids move that Alexis picks. It's a ton of fun, you should come."

Beckett bit the inside of her bottom lip as she thought. Castle knew he had her in a hole because he said Alexis had invited her. It was the truth, which was great, because it made it hard for her to say no.

"There are conditions." She said with a smile.

"I promise, I won't try to get you in bed."

"That is always an unwritten condition. First one is no waiting on me. Second one is I am not, under any circumstances, playing twister. Family nights always end up with twister, and I won't play." She smiled coyly as she said it and watched him laugh.

"Alright, fine. I agree to your conditions."

"Then I will come to dinner."

* * *

Author's Note: I'm getting to what is on the CD, I promise. I wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has left reviews. If you have read all of this, I thank you. This has been a lot of fun to write and to hear that people enjoy reading it was much as I enjoy writing it makes it even better. I try to respond to each review, but if I have missed you, I still thank you! :D


	23. Chapter 23

They got back to the precinct and went straight to Beckett's desk to look at the CD they had gotten from Sydney. Beckett put it in the drive and impatiently tapped her foot as it opened. The document was a jumble of number, letters and symbols. Castle turned his head sideways at it and Beckett hit her hand against the desk. Castle flinched.

"Dammit! What the hell was this kid in to? " She ran one hand through her hair and looked up as the captain came out of his office.

"What is wrong?" He asked, looking questioningly at Castle, the Beckett. Emotional outbursts from her were rare and he had seen her face through his office window.

"Nothing sir, I'm just frustrated at the lack of leads in this case. It seems like every time we find something that may be useful, we hit another brick wall."

"What happened?"

"Sydney, one of the friends, found a disc in a CD case Victoria had given her. I think it might be what was on her laptop, but it is in code. I just feel like we're running out of time...and leads."

"Look...Ryan and Esposito just told me they went through financials and nothing popped. This case is getting to everyone on this team, and rightfully so, but I need you guys fresh and focused if we're going to catch this son of a bitch. I sent the boys home early. Get that CD down to the guys in tech, I'm sure they can crack whatever it is. The I want both of you to go home. Its damn near the end of the day anyhow. Get out of here, go relax and come back tomorrow ready to hit it hard."

"Thank you Sir, but I'd really rather just -"

"Beckett...I don't care what you would rather do. I'm not asking, it's an order. And give me that case file. It is not going home with you."

Beckett stared at him for a minute before reluctantly handing over the case file. She huffed at him as she stood and headed towards tech with the CD. Castle watched her walk away then looked back at the Captain.

"Castle, you make sure she goes home."

"I will sir."

"It's good to have you back Castle."

"Thank you, it's good to be back."

"After you left...Becket was...lets just say if you hurt her like that again...it wont be pretty."

"I have no intention of that Sir. She means a lot to me."

The Captain nodded then headed back into his office. Castle waited at Beckett's desk and she came back a few minutes later looking irritated. She sat down in her chair and pulled herself to her desk.

"I can't believe he's making us go home."

" I can, he's right. This case is emotional and we all need a break from it. So come on, let's go."

He reached for her arm and she moved it away from him.

"Castle, don't." Her voice had a hard edge to it and he normally would have backed away, but she needed a break. He leaned closer to her and put his hand on her thigh under her desk.

"I get it Beckett, I do. But you need to step away from it for a while. Come home with me Kate. We'll put the case down for the night. You might even have fun."

He squeezed her leg softly as he spoke. She smiled as she dropped her hand down on top of his.

"I will come homes with you Castle, but if you don't get your hand off of my thigh right now I will handcuff you to this desk and leave you here."

Castle smiled as he took his hand off of her leg. He leaned close and whispered in her ear.

"I like it when you play bad cop."

Beckett laughed as he stood up and held out his hand, offering to drag her away from her desk. Another thing she loved about him, even thought it was annoying at times, was his ability to come back at her with smart ass remarks. So many people were intimidated by her, which she liked, but it was also fun to be around someone who could dish it out right back at her. She sighed and admitted defeat by taking his hand and letting him pull her up from her chair. She grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair as he pulled her towards the elevator.

* * *

Beckett dropped Castle off at his loft with the promise to come right back after going home to shower and change. He had insisted that she just shower and change at his place, but she wanted to be alone for a little while.

She peeled off her clothes and stepped into the shower, sighing as the hot water hit her tired muscles. She tilted her head back and let the water cascade over her head, drowning out any outside noise. She felt her mind drifting to the case and made herself stop. The captain was right, she needed a break. She couldn't remember the last time she had taken any time off just for her. She loved her job, but some of the cases were especially hard on an emotional level. This was one of them. She forced the case out of her mind and found her thoughts wandering to Castle. More specifically to her and Castle.

It had only been a few days since she had told him how she felt, and that she was willing to take their relationship to the next level. She was surprised at how easy it had been so far. Castle was being very patient with her. They seemed to be fitting into each others lives outside of the precinct pretty seamlessly. Dinner tonight was making her a little nervous. She wasn't sure how Alexis was going to take her relationship with her father. It had been just them for so long, she hoped the girl would be okay with it. Kate liked Alexis a lot and had become fairly close to her. She didn't want that getting messed up. She finished her shower and reluctantly climbed out and wrapped herself in a towel. The hot water had felt good, but she had promised Castle she wouldn't take very long. In the other room she heard the text message alert on her phone and rolled her eyes. Geez, what did he want now?

She wandered into her bedroom and looked at her phone.

**Alexis said you should wear Pjs, since we do.**

Kate laughed, then sighed.

**Nice try Castle**

**I'm not kidding. Pjs, comfort food, and kids movies.**

**I am not wearing Pjs over to your house.**

**…that's fine. Bring them with you.**

**Oh whatever, I'll see you soon.**

**Hurry up, I miss you.**

Kate blushed at his last text. He always managed to throw little comments in that made her feel special. She pulled on a pair of jeans, a tshirt and a pair of black converse chucks. She started to head for the door then hesitated. Walking back in her room she grabbed a pair of Pjs and a change of clothes for tomorrow…just in case Castle managed to talk her into staying for breakfast.

* * *

Authors Note: I'm not being an evil tease I swear. I had to split this here or the next chapter would have been way too long!


	24. Chapter 24

Alexis answered the door at the loft when she rang the doorbell.

"Detective Beckett! I'm so glad you came!" Alexis's blue eyes lit up as she wrapped her arms around Beckett in a hug. Beckett smiled and hugged her back.

"You can call me Kate, and I'm glad I came too."

"Oh, you get to call her Kate. That's pretty special. I haven't been given permission to call her Kate…" Castle's voice teased from the kitchen.

"Permission to call me Kate is based on maturity level Castle…when you catch up to Alexis, let me know."

Alexis giggled and took Kate's arm.

"Come on, the first course is milkshakes and Dad is making them now."

Kate followed Alexis into the kitchen were Castle had all sorts of things spread out on the counters and was fighting with the lid on the blender of what looked like chocolate milkshake. He smiled at her as she walked up next to him in the kitchen and peeked over the top of the blender.

"Hey." He said softly as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. He softly kissed the side of her neck briefly before letting go. "I meant it when I said I missed you."

Beckett ducked her head and smiled. She glanced up to see Alexis's reaction and was met by the girls beaming smile. She took a breath and relaxed a little. Castle reached for a banana and peeled it before plopping it into the blender.

"A banana? In a chocolate shake?"

"Don't knock it until you've tried it. Remember the waffles?"

"Yes, your waffles are amazing. I shouldn't doubt your cooking skills. Where is your mother?"

"Oh, she got called away by a friend. So its just us."

"Cool. So, what movie did you pick Alexis?"

"Beauty and the Beast, if that's okay with you?"

"Sounds great. I haven't seen a Disney movie in forever."

"Its one of my favorites. I haven't seen it in a long time either."

Castle handed them each a chocolate shake. Beckett took a sip of hers.

"Wow…this is really good."

"Dad makes the best shakes. He's actually a really good cook overall, he just doesn't like to advertise it."

"I only cook for special people." He said with a smile, his blue eyes locking on Kate's. She smiled back at him, trying not to blush.

"So, what's for the main course? Mac and Cheese? Mashed potatoes? Something else?"

"Mac and Cheese." Kate and Alexis answered together. They looked at each other and laughed.

"Great, you both like the same things. This will be a great night. Why don't you guys go get comfortable in the living room? I'll bring the Mac and Cheese out in a little bit."

"Sounds good. Kate, why don't you go change into Pjs. Its not movie night without Pjs. I'll go get blankets."

Alexis smiled as she practically skipped off to her upstairs bedroom. Kate smiled at Castle.

"I'm glad you told her."

"Me too. She adores you. It must run in the family."

Kate rolled her eyes at him as she headed into his bedroom to change. She pulled on a pair of dark blue flannel pajama bottoms and a matching shirt. She took off her shoes and socks and pulled her hair back into a low ponytail. When she got back to the living room Alexis was flopped on the couch in an assorted pile of blankets ranging from fluffy to fuzzy. Kate laughed.

"Well, don't you look cozy?"

"Yup. You have to have a ton of blankets. When I was really little we used to build a fort and dad would use the projector and project the movie on the wall so we could watch from inside the fort. It was great."

Kate smiled at the thought of Castle curled up on the floor inside a fort made out of blankets and couch cushions with a seven year old Alexis.

"I bet it was."

"Come sit." Alexis said patting the couch. "You can sit on this end, I'll sit over here and Dad can sit in the middle. Kate went over to the couch and got herself situated under the massive pile of blankets. She sat Indian style and tucked one of the blankets around her. She and Alexis discussed which Disney movie was their favorite and why. A few minutes later Castle came in the room with bowls of Mac and Cheese. He handed one to each of them and flopped on the couch between them.

"Everyone set?"

"Yep."

Castle dug around in the sofa for the remote and then hit play. The movie filled the screen and they ate Mac and cheese and watched the movie in silence. Kate sat her bowl on the coffee table when she was done and pulled the blanket up under her chin. Castle reached over and tugged on the side of her blanket. She looked over and saw Alexis curled up on the other side of him with her head on his shoulder. She softly shook her head. She didn't want to seem too close in front of Alexis. Not yet. He furrowed his eyebrows together at her but then let it go. A few minutes later Alexis lifted her head off of her dads shoulder.

"Kate? You want popcorn?"

"Sure. I'll come help you make it."

"Okay." Alexis said with a smile as she hopped up off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Kate untangled herself from the blankets and unfolded her legs. Castle reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Thank you."

"For…"

"Coming tonight. Being so good with Alexis…being so conscious of her feelings. Just being you I guess."

"You're welcome."

Castle paused the movie as Kate and Alexis went to make popcorn. Alexis pulled a Jiffy Pop popcorn package out of the cupboard.

"Jiffy pop? Wow, I haven't had jiffy pop popcorn in forever. I use the microwave kind now."

"I've always loved Jiffy Pop. I love watching the foil thing get bigger and bigger. I still remember the first time my dad let me do it myself. I was so excited."

"I love watching the foil thing too. I'm not very good at popping it though, I always burn Jiffy Pop. That's why I use the microwave ones. Even then sometimes I burn it."

Alexis laughed as she started the fire on the stove and held the jiffy pop over it.

"Thanks for coming tonight Kate."

"Thank you for inviting me. I'm having fun."

"I'm glad. And…I'm glad about you and dad too. You're good for him."

Kate blushed at the girls compliment. She smiled and moved closer to Alexis.

"Can you keep a secret?" She whispered. Alexis nodded.

"You can't even tell your dad. Especially not your dad."

"I won't, I swear."

"I think he's good for me too."

"Oh, I'll never tell him you said that. His ego doesn't need any help."

Kate laughed loudly.

"What are you two laughing at?" Castle called from the living room.

"You." They answered in unison, which just caused more laughter. A little while later they returned to the living room with bowls of popcorn and bottles of soda. Kate flopped on the couch next to Castle and leaned against him. He rested his hand on her thigh as they started the movie again. A few minutes later the first few chords of "Tale as old as Time" started as Belle walked down the stair case. Alexis jumped up off the couch.

"Oh my gosh, dad, remember? Come on!" She tugged her dad up off the couch. Castle laughed.

"Alexis and I used to dance to this every time the movie was on. She would put her feet on mine and I would twirl her around the room."

As he spoke Alexis wiggled herself against him and put her feet on top of his. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around her and spun her in circles. Kate smiled softly at the two of them. This was a side of Castle she was sure not very many people got to see.

"Your turn Kate." Alexis moved away from her dad. Kate shook her head.

"No, no. I couldn't….its your thing Alexis…."

As she protested Alexis grabbed her hand and was pulling her off the couch.

"Come on, its fun. Just get up and dance."

"Alexis…I can't….its really okay." Alexis tugged harder and actually pulled Kate up of the couch.

"Go on, go on." She put her hand between Kate's shoulder blades and pushed her towards Castle who was standing with his arms open, waiting. Kate huffed; she knew when she had been beat. She walked hesitantly into Castle's arms.

"Go on, put your feet on mine. It's the whole experience."

"Castle…if this gets out…"

"Beckett…shh…just do it."

She put her feet on top of his and he put one hand in the small of her back and the other across her shoulder blades. She gave in and wrapped her arms around him, her head resting on his chest. The song played in the background and Kate realized how much truth were in some of the lyrics.

**Tale as old as time**

**Song as old as rhyme**

**Bitter sweet and strange**

**Finding you can change**

**Learning you were wrong**

She sighed into his chest and he felt her relax against him. As they twirled around Kate caught a glimpse of Alexis smiling at them from the sofa. She realized the girl had probably planned this from the start of the movie. She decided she didn't mind.

"See? Its not so bad is it?"

Kate shook her head no and actually found herself a little disappointed as the song ended. She stepped off of Castle's feet and walked back to the couch. Alexis winked at her as she walked by and Kate made a face at her before sitting down. She liked that her relationship with the girl was easy and hoped it stayed that way. Castle sat back down between them and Kate curled up against him as he draped an arm around her shoulders. She found herself drifting in and out of sleep as he idly switched between tracing random designs on her upper arm and running his fingers though her hair. She heard Alexis sit up quietly as the credits rolled.

"Is she asleep?" She whispered to her dad.

"I don't know."

"Hmm, not all the way." Kate muttered as she sat up.

"I just wanted to say goodnight. And thank you again for coming. It was fun."

Alexis came over and gave Kate a hug. Kate held her for a second and whispered in her ear.

"Thanks for the dance. I know you planned that."

Alexis winked at her again before heading up the stairs. Kate watched her go, smiling.

"She is amazing Castle."

"She is. I'm lucky to have amazing women in my life."

"Yea, your mom is pretty amazing too."

"So are you Beckett."

He turned to face her on the couch. He reached out and hooked one finger in the neckline of her shirt as he pulled her towards him.

"I've wanted to kiss you since you walked in the door." He whispered, their faces inches apart.

"Oh yea?" She asked playfully.

"Yea." She could feel his breathe on her lips.

"Well…what are you going to do about it?"

He slid one hand behind her neck and wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her up against him as he kissed her. She went willingly into his arms, wrapping herself around him. He ran his tongue slowly over her bottom lip and she kissed him back with an urgency that surprised herself. She _needed_ to be closer to him. He pulled away from their kiss and slowly kissed down the side of her neck to her collar bone. She involuntarily shivered and he smiled as he worked his way back up the other side of her neck. He flicked his tongue at the base of her earlobe and she sighed his name.

"Rick…"

"Hmm?" He murmured against the side of her neck. Her response was to move in his arms and kiss him again. He kissed her back, their tongues moving over each others until they both pulled back, breathless. She curled against him, her head resting on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. They sat like that for a while, just being together.

"Beckett?" She shifted in his arms and looked up at him.

"Kate. You know you can call me Kate. Especially here…"

"Alright…Kate. Thank you…for giving this…for giving us a chance."

She blushed and turned her head back to lean against his chest again.

"You're welcome…" She mumbled.

"No, I'm serious. You have no idea…"

"Shhh. I know Castle." She cut him off before he said something that would most likely freak her out. "I should go, its getting late."

He tightened his arms around her.

"Just stay."

"Castle…I can't stay here every night."

"You could…"

"No, I can't. I'll come back for breakfast, how's that?"

"Not good enough."

She twisted in his arms so she could look at him.

"Castle? What's up with the sudden need for me to stay here?"

"I like to be able to take care of you."

"I don't need taking care of…especially not when I'm sleeping…I do that just fine all on my own."

Castle sighed and Beckett continued to stare at him. She wasn't sure where the sudden clinginess was coming from on his part.

"I just…hate the though of you waking up alone if you have one of your nightmares. No one should have to be alone for that."

Her breathe caught in her throat at the look of concern on his face. She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Is that what this is about? I told you Castle, I don't have them very often anymore, and they aren't usually that bad. I'll be okay."

"Can't you just stay here until this case is over? I know this one gets to you. It's probably why you had the nightmare the other night. Please?"

Beckett sighed and Castle knew he had won her over, at least for the night. He was glad. He really didn't like the thought of her waking up alone in the middle of a nightmare. Hell, he didn't like the thought of her waking up alone ever again, but he wasn't about to say that now. Not yet.

"Alright, fine. I don't know about the whole case, but I'll stay tonight."

"Thank you." He said softly and kissed the top of her head.

"You're welcome." She yawned, "Now, lets go to bed. I'm tired."

They got up off of the couch and headed to the bedroom. Beckett drug the blanket she had been using behind her and Castle couldn't help but smile at how childish she looked. She climbed into bed and he got in behind her. He laid next to her, not touching. He always left that part to her. A few minutes later she scooted over so her back was against his chest. He draped his arm over her waist and was surprised when she laced her fingers into his. He smiled as her breathing shifted to match his and a few minutes later he felt her drift off to sleep.

* * *

Authors Note: That was my favorite part to write (of what has been posted anyhow.) I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. Comments are always loved. Thank you if you have been reading the whole thing so far :)


	25. Chapter 25

Kate was awake before she opened her eyes. She smiled at the fact that Castle still had his arm wrapped around her. She could tell by his breathing that he was still asleep. Like the night before in the shower her thoughts drifted to the man sleeping behind her. She was glad night had gone so well with Alexis. The only thing she was nervous about now was his mothers reaction. She was pretty sure that would go well though. She was dreading telling everyone at the precinct. She knew it had to be done, but she could already hear the teasing and jokes now. She wasn't going to jump into telling them too soon, in case things didn't work out. She didn't want it to be more awkward that it already would be if things ended badly.

She felt Castle shift behind her and could tell he was awake. He leaned forward and softly kissed the side of her neck, right above the neckline of her shirt.

"Hm, good morning beautiful." He whispered into her hair, his voice still groggy from sleep. She bit the corner of her bottom lip and blushed, grateful that he couldn't see her face.

"Good morning yourself." She turned over so she was facing him and he reached out and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Thanks for staying last night. It made me feel better. And, you didn't have a nightmare."

She smiled at him. She found his concern for her touching, especially considering she didn't really need protecting.

"You're welcome. Thank you Castle, for being so patient with me about all of this." She looked down and laughed quietly. "You've been much more of a gentleman than I expected."

"Detective, your words, they hurt. Did you expect me to just try to lure you into my bed to sleep with you? Did you really think that is all I wanted from you?" He said in mock outrage. She laughed and rolled her eyes. She found it amusing when he called her Detective.

"Sometimes, yea."

He reached out and took her chin, turning her head so she was looking directly into his eyes. His seriousness stopped her laughter abruptly.

"Nothing could be farther from the truth Kate."

There wasn't even a trace of laughter in his blue eyes and Kate found herself getting lost in them. She smiled as she leaned forward and kissed him slowly.

"I'm serious Kate...that's not what this is about." He whispered as she pulled back from the kiss.

"I know." He raised one eyebrow at her and she laughed. "When we first met, I wouldn't have believed you. I figured you just wanted to add me to your list. That you were only interested in me because I kept saying no. I was wrong. You've been there for me...every time I turn around. You always have my back."

"Anything for you."

"I know...which is why I believe you."

He looked at her for a minute; his eyes locked on hers. She let down her guard and hoped he could see everything she was feeling but was too afraid to say. He studied her face when she said she believed him and couldn't see anything that would say she was lying. Then he saw something soften in her eyes. There was another emotion on her face, one he hadn't seen before but couldn't put a name to. He wanted so badly to tell her he loved her. That he loved her so much it actually caused him physical pain to see her hurting or upset. That if she would just let him, he would be there for her, forever. But he knew she wasn't ready to hear that yet, so he settled for pulling her closer and putting all of his unspoken emotions into a kiss. If the look on her face was anything to judge her reaction on, his message had gone through loud and clear. She smiled as she subconsciously reached up and touched her lower lip with her fingers. She leaned her head against his chest and sighed.

"We should get up." She mumbled.

"Probably."

Neither one of them actually moved and Kate felt herself drifting back to sleep. She teetered on that fine line between being asleep, but also being completely aware of her surroundings. She smiled as Castle started softly rubbing her back.

"Are you trying to get me to fall back to sleep?"

"Is it working?"

"Mmhmm, a little bit. But we have to get up."

"I know...I'd just rather stay here. All day if I had the choice."

"As tempting as that is, we do have a murder to solve." As Kate spoke she realized it was the first time since the shower yesterday that she had given the case any thought since her shower yesterday. Maybe the captain had been right when she said they all needed a break.

Castle groaned, then stretched as he sat up.

"I'll go start breakfast, any special requests?"

"That you stop spoiling me?"

"Not a chance."

"I didn't think so...bacon then."

"Alright. Go back to sleep if you want, I'll come wake you up."

Kate smiled at him as he walked out of the room. She curled into a ball in the spot he had just been laying. It was still warm and the pillow smelled like him. She knew she had to get up, but she was comfortable and decided to lay there for a few more minutes and pretend the rest of the world didn't exist.

The next thing she knew Castle was kissing her forehead. She opened her eyes to see him leaning over her.

"Good morning again."

"I fell back to sleep?"

"Looks that way. Breakfast is ready. Do you want to come to the kitchen or do you want breakfast in bed?"

"No, you are not brining me breakfast in bed." She grumbled, sitting up quickly. "I shouldn't have gone back to sleep in the first place."

"Oh, relax. It was only twenty minutes. You can eat breakfast and shower. We'll get to the precinct around the same time, no big deal."

Kate rolled her eyes at him and stretched as she stood up and headed towards the kitchen. She loved the smell of bacon in the morning. It was one thing she would never get tired of.

"Good morning Kate." Alexis called cheerily from the table.

"Good morning Alexis." She grabbed her plate and, much to Castle's protest, served herself and joined Alexis at the table. Castle sat down and joined them a few minutes later. Alexis was about done with breakfast and was already dressed for school. Castle stretched as he sat down.

"I'm glad you get yourself up for school." Alexis laughed and rolled her eyes at him.

"If I didn't I'd probably never go."

"You're probably right."

"Speaking of school, I should get going." She took her plate to the kitchen then came back and wrapped her arms around Castle's neck as she kissed his cheek.

"Bye. Try not to get in trouble today."

"Pfft, right."

Alexis laughed and walked over and wrapped her arms around Beckett's neck the same way she had Castle's without the kiss on the cheek. Beckett tried to keep the look of surprise off of her face.

"Bye Kate. Thanks for coming over. Hopefully you'll be over more."

"Bye Alexis. Have a good day."

"Thanks." She called happily as she walked out the front door. Kate looked at Castle in surprise. He just beamed at her.

"She likes you. I knew she would be okay with it. With us."

"I'm glad she is. It would have been weird if she wasn't."

"Hm, she could have gotten over it."

Kate laughed and playfully threw her napkin at his face. He swatted it away and smiled at her. He loved seeing this side of her. The side of her that he always had a feeling was there, but he could never coax all the way out of her at work. He had seen a change in her in the past two years that he had been shadowing her. The changes were small, someone who didn't know her the way he did wouldn't have noticed. She was more open to joking, and had started joining in more and more. She had started slowly actually listening to his outlandish theories instead of just rolling her eyes and dismissing him. Before he had left for the Hampton's he had actually noticed her say 'see you tomorrow' instead of her customary 'night' at the end of their day together. The thought that he had almost missed out on this, on her, by going to the Hampton's made him have the sudden urge to have her in his arms. To remind himself that she had finally given him - them- a chance.

She noticed him thinking, a slow smile coming to his face.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, bringing his train of thought back to the present.

"You. Almost always you." She blushed deeply at the intensity in his eyes. God, he really had a way of getting to her when she least expected it. She stood up and set her dishes on the counter before moving behind him and draping her arms around his shoulders. She kissed his neck softly and whispered in his ear.

"I think about you too…more than you realize."

She smiled when he shivered at her kiss, then let go of his neck and headed towards his room to shower. He turned in his chair, pouting.

"Where are you going?"

"To shower Castle. We have to go to work."

He huffed as she closed the door behind her.


	26. Chapter 26

They were half way to the precinct when Beckett's phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket without looking at it and flipped it open. Not many people called her early.

"Beckett."

"Are you on your way to the precinct?" Esposito asked, his tone short.

"Yes. About half way there. Why?"

"They were able to decode the document on the CD Sydney gave you. You're going to want to read this."

"Yep, I'll be there soon."

"Ok."

She flipped her phone shut and chewed the bottom corner of her lip. Esposito didn't normally call to see if she was on her way. Whatever was on the CD must be pretty important. She hoped it would lead to the killer. They had no solid leads and it was really starting to get to her. She had to solve this one. She gripped the steering wheel and took a deep breath.

"What was that about?"

Castle spoke softly, but she was so lost in her own world that the sound of his voice made her jump. She looked at him and smiled shyly.

"Sorry. It was Esposito, making sure I was on my way. They were able to decode the CD. He said I'm going to want to read it."

"Great, maybe they'll be something helpful on there."

"God, I hope so."

Castle mentally sighed. He wished there was something he could do or say that would help her. He knew, short of solving the case, nothing was going to make her feel better. He also knew if she couldn't solve it, she would make it her fault. That she personally could have done something different, been better somehow. For someone as amazing as she was, she doubted herself almost constantly. He reached over and squeezed her hand as they pulled into the parking lot. She squeezed his hand back before letting go to get out of the car, but he could tell her mind wasn't on them anymore. She was already one hundred percent focused on the case before they had even walked into the building. Her passion is what gave her the drive to become a one woman tornado when she needed to be. He followed her into the precinct and knew he would do everything he could to be with her, every step of the way.

Beckett leaned back in her chair and ran her hand through her hair. She let her arms drop to the armrests and held onto them to stop her hands from shaking. Castle had moved his chair behind hers and had been reading over her shoulder. When she leaned back her shoulder was inches from his chest, her hair brushed against his cheek and it was all he could do to not wrap his arms around her and kiss the side of her neck. He settled for briefly squeezing the back of her arm, near her elbow. She sighed quietly and he moved his hand. To his surprise, she dropped her hand to his knee, absently running her fingers over the threads of his pants as she thought.

Beckett's mind was racing so fast she was having trouble keeping up with her own train of thought. She briefly felt Castle squeeze the back of her arm and she knew he was worried about her. She couldn't respond though other than to sigh, which he took the wrong way. She put her hand on his knee to let him know she wasn't upset by his touch. She intended for it to be a brief touch, but found herself lightly running her fingers over the material of his pants as she thought.

What they had read on the CD had been a digital version of Victoria's diary. She had written about finding out that her father wasn't really her father. It detailed how she had found out, when she confronted him, what he had said. It also held a darker secret. That her father had been giving his patients birth control instead of fertility drugs; basically forcing them into the next step in trying to get pregnant and going with in vitro. She detailed how her father chose which patients to do this too; they were always the ones with money. How he would pay the pharmacist at his building to change the drugs. Half up front and half when the couple actually had in vitro. She wrote that she had found all of this out by volunteering at her fathers office for a school project. She got nosy when she was organizing the file room and took it farther by going through private files in her fathers office.

They read for pages about her very emotional decision to confront her father about it. She wanted to tell him everything she knew and give him a chance to come clean and fix it before she went to the police. She mentioned even going as far as making copies of the patient files so she had proof. Much to Beckett's dismay she never wrote about where the files were. Her last entry had been about two weeks ago, before she had told her father what she knew. She never wrote about his reaction, or whether or not she even told him. The timing made sense. Sydney had said that Victoria gave her the case with the CD in it about a week ago. She would have needed time to make copies, have someone code them, and put all the file copies on a disk as well.

Beckett sighed heavily as she rested her forehead in the palm of her right hand. Her left hand still rested idly on Castle's knee. She pulled her hand down the front of her face until her chin was resting on her palm. She gnawed on the nail of her index finger as she thought. All they had now was more motive, a likely suspect and still no clues or proof. She wanted to scream.

Castle sat, unusually quiet, behind her. She knew she should say something, but she couldn't figure out what. Her mind kept spinning about what was on the disk, and where the other one could be. She had a strong gut feeling that Haven had it, or at the very least, knew about it. But she knew the girl would be reluctant to talk to her again. She was in the middle of a train of thought when Esposito walked up. He stopped next to her desk, in the space where Castle's chair usually sat, and raised his eyebrows, looking pointedly at Beckett's hand on Castle's knee. She slid her hand back to the armrest of her chair.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"No." "Yes." Castle and Beckett answered in unison. Beckett glared at Castle but she only half meant it, and he could tell. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at Esposito.

"What ya got?"

"Well, the shoe print on the rug…size ten and a half. Victoria's father? Size ten and a half."

"Great. The most common shoe size for men in America. That will really narrow it down."

"I'll skip over asking you why you know that. You're right. But, the tread pattern is from a custom shoe maker. Someone Victoria's father just happened to buy shoes from six months ago."

"Well…that's better. But all that does it put him at the scene. Which isn't really that surprising considering he is her father. We need something more solid or we're never going to get this guy.

"What if he confessed?" Castle asked. Beckett and Esposito both turned to look at him. It was Beckett who spoke first.

"What, you think he's going to just admit to killing his own daughter because we ask him to?"

"Well…no. But what I'm asking is…if he confesses, would you still need proof?"

"It would be helpful for trial, but no. Confessions are usually pretty cut and dry cases, why?"

Castle thought for a minute. "Then we have to find the other CD, with the copies of the case files."

"Why…" Beckett asked again, trying to get inside his head.

"Because, we have to find something to break him with. If we have the whole story, the whole reason why he felt the need to kill his own daughter, sitting there in front of him, hopefully he'll crumble." He looked back and forth from Esposito to Beckett. Esposito was slowly nodding. Beckett was shaking her head slowly.

"That's assuming he even did it. We still don't know that for sure." Her stomach churned at the thought of a parent killing their own child.

"What she knew, what she was going to tell everyone, would have cost him his business, his license, jail time, everything. People have killed for a lot less." Castle reminded her quietly. Her eyes met his and he could see a sadness in them that he'd never seen before. It was brief, and by the time he blinked it was gone.

"Alright, so we find this CD, and then what? How are we supposed to get him to confess?"

"You bring him in here, and lay it all out in front of him. If any one can do it Beckett, its you."

"Sounds like we need another trip to visit Haven. Castle…you might have to be the one to get it out of her. She really hates my guts."

Castle tried to keep the shock from showing on his face. She rarely asked him for help so directly. She smiled at him, then turned to Esposito.

"You and Ryan go talk to Sydney again. She'll let you search her room. Go to Trevor's too. We searched his room when we were looking for the cell phone, but we didn't know what else we should be looking for. Call me if you find anything."

Esposito nodded and turned to find Ryan. Beckett got up and grabbed her jacket. Castle stood up next to her.

"You ready for this?" She asked. He nodded. "Good, because I have a feeling we're only going to get one shot with Haven. No pressure." She laughed lightly and elbowed him in the side. He smiled, glad to see her with a sense of purpose. Her moods when there were no leads on a case could border on unbearable.


	27. Chapter 27

Haven sat across the table from them, arms crossed, staring. Her eyes were full of anger and she wouldn't look at Beckett for longer than a few seconds before shifting her gaze to the table in front of her.

"I told you I don't want to talk to you anymore without my parents or an attorney."

"I know. It isn't me who wanted to talk to you, it's him." Beckett said quietly, tilting her head towards Castle. "I'm just along for the ride."

Haven eyed her skeptically. She turned her gaze towards Castle and raised her eyebrows.

"Look Haven, I'm not a cop." Castle started quietly, slipping into his story telling voice and Beckett watched as the teens reservations started to slip almost immediately. "So, the way I see this is…if you tell me something, you aren't betraying Victoria. You didn't go to the cops, you didn't tell anyone who could get her in trouble her secret. I'm just a writer. Maybe I'll use it as inspiration in a book someday. Here's the deal. They already know about Victoria's dad not being her real dad. They already know how she found out, when she told him, and what he said. They also know about…the other secret, the one at her dads office."

Haven's eyes grew wide.

"Who told you all of that?" There was anger in her voice, but also a hint of relief. Castle took it and ran.

"It doesn't matter, it wasn't you. You didn't let her down, just like she knew you wouldn't. But Haven, they still can't catch the guy who did this to her, even though they know who it is. They don't have enough evidence. I think if Victoria had left something, something that would help, she would have left it with you. She knew she could count on you. You might have what they need to put the guy away for good. So how about it Haven, can she still count on you?"

Tears filled Haven's eyes when Castle said Victoria knew she could count on her. He knew he had hit the nerve he was looking for and leaned back in his chair to wait. He glanced at Beckett, hoping she would stay quiet too. She had a hard time with waiting sometimes. To his relief, she was leaning back in her chair silently. It took a few minutes before Haven spoke. When she did, her voice was raspy from holding back even more tears.

"I…don't want to give it to the police…"

"You don't have to. You can bring it to my house. You won't have to take it anywhere near the police station."

Haven exhaled loudly.

"Fine. I'll come tonight at seven."

Castle wrote his address and cell phone number on a slip of paper and handed it to Haven. They stood to leave and Castle turned back to her.

"Haven…I know you loved her. She knows too. You're doing the right thing. You know she would have wanted everyone to know the truth."

Haven nodded at him and smiled weakly as they left.

Kate waited until they were halfway to the car before moving next to him, looping her arm around his waist and hooking her thumb through his belt loop to keep it there. Castle was shocked at her sudden public display of affection.

"Erm.." He muttered, looking around the deserted hallway. She smiled at him.

"There's no one here, and even if someone saw, no one knows who we are. You were amazing in there, thank you."

He smiled and put his arm around her shoulders, relishing in how good it felt, how right it felt, to be holding her against him like it was the most natural thing in the world. She leaned into his embrace and it was moments like this when he could literally feel himself falling more in love with her. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her and he hoped he would be able to prove that to her. He was letting her chose the pace of the relationship because he knew she was scared, but holding back on showing her just how much she meant to him was practically killing him. He was dying to make some sort of huge, romantic gesture to somehow attempt to show her what she meant to him, but he also knew she wasn't ready for that. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't realize she was talking to him until she dug her elbow into his side.

"Hey, mind sharing with the class? Or joining me back in reality?"

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"I was saying thank you, for getting Haven to agree to give us whatever she has. You were amazing in there. She wouldn't have agreed to that without you."

They had reached the car and she turned to face him as she spoke, her hands resting on his hips. He leaned back against the car and smiled as she moved with him, keeping their proximity close.

"Nah, you would have gotten it out of her sooner or later."

"Maybe...but not without lawyers getting involved, and parents, and more drama than that girl needs right now. The way she's doing it now it will make her feel like she is helping Victoria. Hopefully that will help her heal. So just take the compliment, would ya?"

"You're welcome."

"There, was that so hard?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it's me who should be thanking you, every day, for letting me be a part of your world. Anything I ever do for you would pale in comparison of what you have done for me."

Beckett laughed softly and shook her head.

"You should thank me every day for exposing you to some of the most horrific things that human beings do to each other? For showing you the darkest side of humanity? For showing you that not all murders make sense the way they do in your books? That sometimes people really are just crazy and malicious? Why would you thank me for that?"

Castle cocked his head slightly sideways as he contemplated her question. She really had no idea how amazing she was, and it boggled his mind. He furrowed his eyebrows together as he tried to think of the right way to respond to her question. Her green eyes searched his face for some clue to what he was thinking. She wasn't used to leaving him speechless. He reached out and gently pushed her hair behind her ear before answering.

"Because, showing me all of that has shown me a side of my books, my stories, that I had never seen before. The human side of them. The side of the story that belongs to the victims and their families. The part where the twist in the evidence doesn't matter, the details of how don't matter, hell, sometimes the who and why don't even matter as much as the truth and justice. That is what brings closure. To see that first hand, and to have been able to actually help bring that to families sometimes, has been life changing. You have been life changing. You have a hard job Kate, it's a job most people couldn't handle. You see things on a daily basis that most people would be scarred by seeing once. The amazing thing about you is, though you have been scarred by it, you don't let it harden you. You have this amazing passion and empathy that you pour into your job. Getting to see that on a daily basis is awe inspiring. So yes, I thank you. For all of it, the good, the bad and the horrific. I thank you, and I wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything in the world."

Kate's breath caught in her throat when he said she was life changing and she literally had to remind herself to breathe when he stopped speaking. She opened her mouth to respond but couldn't find the right words, so she closed it again and settled for leaning against him, her head resting on his chest. She took a few deep breaths; partly to try and get her thoughts to make sense and partly to stop the tears that were forming in her eyes. She had thrown the question at him not really expecting an answer. She certainly wasn't expecting an answer that had an almost poetic quality to it. She was so used to the light hearted side of Castle that she sometimes forgot he devoted his life to words. The moments when she was reminded usually left her speechless. He laughed softly as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. She tilted her head back to look at him and opened her mouth to speak again. He silenced her with a soft kiss, then held one finger up to her lips.

"Shhh. Just take the compliment, would ya?"

She laughed at him turning her own words against her.

"You're welcome." She whispered against his lips as she leaned up to kiss him.

* * *

When they got back to the precinct Castle announced that he was going to go get Chinese for everyone for lunch. He started walking around taking orders and Beckett slipped down to the morgue to see Lanie.

She pushed quietly through the double doors and they swished shut behind her. Lanie had a body on the table but it was covered by a sheet and she was doing paperwork. She glanced up as the doors opened, then put her pen down when she saw it was Kate.

"Hey you, what brings you down here?"

Kate bite corner of her lip. She wasn't entirely sure why she had come. She wanted to talk to Lanie. To have someone to help her sort out the crazy train of emotions that were rolling around in her head, but she knew she couldn't do that here. Lanie tilted her head and raised and eyebrow at the length of time it was taking Kate to respond.

"You okay?" She asked, concern sweeping over her face.

"Yea yea, I'm fine. Hey…do you want to come over tonight?"

"Come over?"

"Yea, to my place. We can do takeout, a chick flick and drinks or…something?"

"Something? Like talk about you and writer boy?"

Kate smiled. She forgot how well Lanie knew her sometimes.

"Something like that, yea."

"Of course, what time?"

"Um…I have to be at Castle's at seven. But that probably won't take too long. Seven thirty, or eight? I can let you know when I leave his place."

"Oh, you have to be at his place huh?" Lanie teased.

"Yes Lanie. I have to. Haven, one of Victoria's friends, is dropping off something to do with the case. I should be there."

"Uh huh, I'm sure you should."

Kate rolled her eyes and turned to walk out of the morgue.

"Thanks Lanie, I'll call you later!" She called as she walked out of the doors back to the bullpen.


	28. Chapter 28

Beckett and Castle left the precinct around five thirty that night. Ryan and Esposito had spoken with Trevor and Sydney again and had found nothing new. Beckett had told the Captain about Haven dropping off stuff at Castle's place that night. He said it was fine, as long as Beckett took home whatever it was with her instead of leaving it at Castle's.

"So, if you stay at my place tonight that's the same thing as you taking it home, right?" Castle asked as slipped his thumb between their joined hands and rubbed her palm as they drove towards his loft. Beckett smiled at how familiar the little moments and touches between them had become in such a short amount of time.

"It probably would be, if I were staying at your place tonight, which I'm not."

"But you said…until the case was over…"

"No, what I said was I would stay that night. And I did. But not tonight. Lanie is coming over after I get home. We're having girls night. Take out food, chick flick movies. The whole shebang."

"That's fine, you can come back when she goes home." He said with a mischievous grin. She sighed at him, but it came out as a half laugh and he smiled wider.

"See? it's a good idea."

"Castle…I'm not staying at your place tonight. I will be just fine at home."

"Fine. You win. For now, but don't think this is over."

She rolled her eyes as he pouted in the passenger seat. He pretended to be mad at her but it only lasted until they were inside his loft. Once he locked the door behind them, he pulled her against him and kissed her. She sighed into his mouth at the shivers that ran down her back as he laced his fingers though her hair. She let herself melt against him; amazed at how most of the worries of her day seemed to disappear while he was holding her. She shoved the doubts and questions that always seemed to pop into her mind during these moments aside as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back; matching his intensity with her own. She could tell she took him by surprise by the way his arms tightened around her, pulling her closer when just a second ago she hadn't thought that possible.

"My day was great! Thanks for asking, how was yours?" Martha called in a sing song voice from the kitchen, making them both jump away from each other like they were doing something wrong.

"Mother, you're home."

"Yes, and so are you. Which is something you might want to announce before assuming you are alone. Kate, hello dear."

Martha walked up to Kate and pulled her into an embrace. Kate hugged her back, glad for the extra few seconds to compose her thoughts.

"Good to see you Martha."

"You too dear. I hear you've been spending more time around here lately?" She said, winking at Castle as she hugged him.

"Umm..yea…about that…I…" Kate stuttered over her words and Martha laughed.

"You are welcome here. Anytime, and for as long as you want to stay."

Kate smiled warmly at her.

"Thank you Martha."

"You are quite welcome. I am going to my bedroom upstairs. I will leave you two alone."

She waved at them as she headed up the stairs. Kate waited until she heard the bedroom door click shut before smacking Castle in the chest.

"Castle!" She hissed. "You could have told me your mother would be home!"

"Hm, I didn't know…obviously. Or I would have said something when we walked in. Sorry, I just can't help myself sometimes…"

He reached for her and pulled her back against him. She laughed and twisted away from him.

"Oh no, I'm sure Alexis will be home soon. One mortifyingly embarrassing moment a day is enough for me."

She pulled away from his grasp and went over and flopped on the couch. He followed her, pouting, and sat next to her. She crossed her arms when he reached for her and glared at him.

"Personal space, Castle."

"Yes…I want you in mine."

She laughed loudly and hit him in the side of the head with one of the pillows on the couch. He raised an eyebrow at her and picked up the other pillow and hit her back. Within a matter of seconds they were both standing in the middle of the living room in the middle of a pillow fight. By the time Alexis walked in the door five minutes later they were both breathless from laughing. Kate couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard. Every time she tried, moments of Castle making her laugh were all that came to mind.

Alexis smiled at them as she dropped her backpack inside the door.

"Kate! You're here. Oooh pillow fight! I want to play."

"Oh, no way. You'd totally be on her side." Castle whined from his protected crouch behind a chair.

"Your point is?" Alexis asked as Kate tossed her a pillow. Castle dropped his pillow and raised both hands over his head.

"I give, I give."

Kate dropped her pillow on the couch and high fived Alexis.

"Well, that was easy."

Alexis smiled as she hugged Kate.

"Are you staying tonight?" The smile on the girls face tugged at Kate's heart strings and she wanted to say yes.

"Not tonight. Lanie is coming to my place later to hang out for a while. I'm just here until someone drops something off for the case. She's supposed to be here at seven."

"Aww, we could watch another Disney movie."

"Next time, I would love to."

"Alright. Its probably better any way. I have a test to study for, and I wouldn't get it done with you here. Hanging out with you is way better than studying. I'm gonna go upstairs. Kate, call me if you need backup."

"Absolutely."

Castle smiled as he watched the interaction between his daughter and Beckett. Alexis was the most important person in his world. He knew she looked up to Beckett a lot and he absolutely loved that Beckett genuinely cared about her in return. He waited until Alexis was upstairs before walking up behind Beckett and wrapping his arms around her waist. She leaned back against him.

"Thank you." He whispered in her ear.

"For?"

"Being so good with her. She likes you, a lot."

"I like her a lot too. She's easy to like. She's an awesome kid."

"Hm, she gets it from her dad."

Beckett laughed and rolled her eyes at him. She was about to respond when the doorbell rang. She looked at her watch.

"Its only six thirty. Are you expecting anyone else?"

"Nope."

Castle reluctantly let go of Beckett and answered the door. A very edgy looking Haven stood on the other side.

"Haven. You're early. Come in."

Haven walked inside and glanced at Beckett as Castle closed the door.

"You guys live together?" She asked, sounding confused.

"No, no. I left something at the precinct. She came by to drop it off. I've been interviewing her for book research. That's why I was with her when she spoke with you."

"Oh…okay. I'm early because…I don't want to give you this And if I keep thinking about it, I will chicken out. So I just came, hoping you would be home. Here."

Haven shoved a shoe box into his arms.

"Take it. And I have to go before I want it back. I…just…" Haven's emotions threatened to overwhelm her and she took a deep breathe then looked at Beckett when she spoke. "Just…please find whoever did this. Please. She didn't want to die. I know she didn't. And if you don't find who did it…then all of this…means nothing." A single tear trailed down her cheek.

"I'll find them Haven, I promise."

Haven looked surprised at her promise and looked at Castle

"She doesn't break her promises. Thank you Haven…this is the best thing you could have done to help her."

Haven nodded sharply and walked out the door without speaking to either one of them. Castle looked at Beckett and held out the shoe box. Beckett took it with shaky hands and pulled the lid off.

Inside were several Cds and a bunch of letters. They sat down and unfolded the letters, putting them in order by date. As Beckett skimmed through them she realized that most of what was in them was the same thing that was on the CD they had from Sydney. Hand written letters were better, they could prove it was actually Victoria writing.

She opened the CD cases, there were 4 of them in total. All of the Cds were blank, like the one from Sydney. She guessed they were coded too and was proven right when Castle tried reading them on his lap top. At least the tech team would make quick work of these tomorrow. They put everything back in the shoe box and Beckett thought of taking to the precinct right then. Castle seemed to read her mind.

"There is no reason for you to go back to work. Everyone who could do anything helpful has gone home. They will still be there tomorrow. Go do your girls night with Lanie."

Kate smiled at how well he knew her. She looked at her watch. It was seven thirty.

"Alright. I should get going then."

"I'll walk you to your car."

"Castle…I'll be fine."

He walked with her to the door and waited until she had her jacket on before pulling her close and resting his hands on her hips.

"You know, the invitation stands for you to come back after Lanie goes home."

"Thank you, but I will be fine."

"Will you promise me something?"

"Probably not."

"Kate…please?"

"What?"

"If you have a nightmare, will you call me?"

Kate sighed heavily. The worry on his face turned her to putty.

"Castle…I'll be fine."

"Just promise. I know you don't break your promises."

She knew she didn't either, which was why she didn't want to promise. She hated the thought of calling him at two in the morning because she had a bad dream. It just seemed so childish.

"I'll call you if I have a nightmare."

"You didn't say you promised."

She looked down at the ground, avoiding the intensity of his stare. She didn't want to promise. In her mind, promising that she would call was just about the same as admitting that she needed him. The possibility of that scared her. She didn't like needing people, especially not someone who could hurt her so much if he walked away. Castle watched her face and could almost hear the internal dialogue she was having.

"You don't have to do everything alone anymore Kate. I'm right here, and I'm not g-"

"Don't Castle. Please…don't say things, don't make promises you can't keep."

He put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up so he could look her in the eyes. She avoided his gaze by looking sideways, but at the same time she shifted closer to him. He kissed her forehead so softly she wasn't sure that he had done it at all.

"Okay. I won't say it. But not because I don't mean it…only because you aren't ready to hear it."

She rested her forehead against his chest.

"Thank you." She whispered against him. They stood like that for a few minutes, each of them lost in a completely different train of thought, but both focused on each other. She finally sighed and stood up.

"I have to go."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yea. Good night Castle."

She kissed him softly before walking out the door. He watched her walk down the hallway and called to her right before she reached the elevator.

"Kate!" She turned to face him.

"Yea?"

"Text me when you get home?"

She smiled slowly.

"Okay…I will."

"Thanks." He turned to walk into his loft.

"And Castle?"

"Yea?"

"If I have a nightmare…I'll call you…I promise."


	29. Chapter 29

Beckett called Lanie as she pulled away from Castle's loft. She let her know she was on the way home. Lanie said she would bring food. Beckett hit the end button and was surprised to find herself feeling a little sad. She was happy to get to spend some time with Lanie, but the thought of hanging out at Castle's watching movies on the couch was pretty inviting too. She pushed the thought from her head. They had spent a lot of time together the past few days. The time apart would do them good.

She got home and tossed her keys on the counter and wandered in her bedroom to change. She changed out of her work clothes and heels into jeans and a t-shirt. Pulling her hair back in a low, loose ponytail she headed to the living room bare foot. She sat on the couch and typed a quick text to Castle.

I'm home. I'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you. And the offer still stands.

Kate smiled. He never gave up. She sat her phone on the coffee table and leaned back against the couch. She closed her eyes and just sat there listening to the sounds around her and just enjoying being alone for a few minutes. The doorbell rang and she smiled. She was looking forward to spending time with Lanie.

"I brought burgers, fries and shakes!" Lanie said with a grin when Beckett opened her door.

"Perfect. Come in."

They piled greasy fast food on paper plates and moved to the living room to sit on the couch.

"Movie?" Kate asked as she sat.

"Girl, you didn't ask me to come over to watch movies with you. So…start talking? What's up with you and writer boy?"

"I'm not sure where to start…"

"Have you slept with him yet?"

Kate almost spit out the shake she had been drinking.

"Lanie! What? No."

"Kate Beckett, what are you waiting for?"

Kate glared at her, then smiled.

"Lanie…you know I'm not like that. But…I haven't spent a night alone since I told him how I felt?"

"Oh really?"

"Yea…I stayed at his house, he stayed here, I stayed at his house again last night."

"Wait a minute, he stayed here?"

"Yea…that's the thing. I just feel like this is moving so fast. I mean, it was just a few days ago that I told him how I felt…"

"Kate…if two years is moving to fast, then you need some serious help. It's not like you haven't known the guy for the past two years. It's not like it's a relationship with some random stranger that's moving fast. This is Castle. You know him. He knows you. Trust me, it is not moving fast. This has been a long time coming."

Kate thought for a minute. She had never really considered the past two years as part of their "relationship" but it was. There had been an attraction between them for a long time.

"I told him about the nightmares Lanie."

"You what? You never tell anyone about those. What happened?"

I had told him I wasn't staying at his house. He asked me to text him when I got home. I did, then I went to bed. When I woke up from the nightmare there was a text from him. I responded and he ended up asking me if I wanted him to come over."

"And?"

"I did…so I told him to come. I had been crying, he didn't really ask why…I just told him."

Lanie sat in stunned silence for a minute. Kate had starting having nightmares after her mothers murder and had been having them ever since, but she rarely told anyone about them. It had taken a really bad one that resulted in a horrible day at the precinct for her to tell Lanie.

"What did he do?"

"Held me, kissed me, then came to bed with me and held me until I fell asleep."

Lanie reached across the couch and put her hand on Kate's arm.

"That man would do anything for you. Anything you asked of him, and even some things you don't."

Kate was surprised to find her eyes filling with tears as she looked up.

"I think…I'm falling in love with him Lanie."

"Aw, honey. You're already in love with him. You have been for a long time. You're just finally admitting it to yourself."

"It scares me Lanie…"

"I know it does. Just let go Kate. He'll be there to catch you. The man would move mountains for you if he could."

Kate looked at her best friend and smiled. She knew what Lanie said was true, but it didn't make all the fears and reservations running though her head any easier to deal with. They were both quiet for a few minutes when Kate's phone buzzed with a text message. She flipped her phone open. It was from Castle.

**Stop talking about me.**

Kate laughed and showed the text to Lanie.

"See what I mean? You two are just meant for each other."

Kate was about to respond when her phone went off again. She sighed as she flipped it open. Castle. Again.

**Open your front door.**

Kate looked at the door from the couch. She hadn't heard anything. She showed the text to Lanie again before getting up and heading for the door.

"I swear, I will kill him if he is standing outside."

Lanie followed Kate to the front door and gasped at what she saw over Kate's shoulder. There was a vase of roses, all various colors; red, pink, white, yellow, lavenders. There were about 3 dozen of them in a glass vase. In front of the vase was a box of gourmet cupcakes. Lanie moved past Kate and picked up the cupcake box. Kate was too busy smiling to do much of anything. She bent down and picked up the roses, blushing as she inhaled their aroma. She could hear Lanie opening the cupcake box in the kitchen.

"Oooh, girl. He sends gourmet cupcakes and roses when he knows you're having a girls night to specifically talk about him? The man is a keeper Kate. If you don't want him, I do." She said with a grin as she bit into one of the cupcakes. Kate laughed at the dollop of icing that stuck to Lanie's nose.

She set the roses on the counter and locked the door behind her before heading to the living room to pickup her phone.

**Thank you, you didn't have to do that.**

His response was quick, which made her smile.

**Oh, but I did. I need Lanie on my side.**

** And why is that exactly?**

**She is your best friend Detective. It's always good to have the best friend on your side. Enjoy the cupcakes.**

Kate smiled as she flipped her phone closed. Lanie wandered back out to the living room holding a cupcake for Kate. She took it and sat back down on the couch. She stuck her finger in the icing and scooped some off, slowly sucking it off her finger. Lanie laughed.

"Can't you just eat it?"

"No, I always eat the icing first. It's the best part. Plus, that way I don't end up with icing on my nose…like some people."

Lanie laughed as she wiped the icing off of the tip of her nose.

"So, seriously Kate, where do things stand with you and Castle?"

"We've gone from being me and Castle to being an us. Beyond that, I don't know. He's been amazingly patient with me and has been taking everything at my pace. I've been kind of freaked out by how easy its been."

"You shouldn't be. You two are perfect for each other."

"His mom and Alexis know."

"What do they think?"

"Alexis says I'm good for him. His mother…walked in on us basically making out by their front door and didn't seem to care. She's always said I'm welcome there any time."

Lanie beamed at her from across the couch. Her expression was a cross between sheer joy and I told you so. Kate laughed

What are you so happy about Lanie?"

"I'm happy for you Kate. You deserve to be happy. Castle makes you happy."

"Yea…he does."

"I know you're scared. But don't let that push this one away, okay? Let go a little bit, trust him. I promise you, he won't let you down."

Kate leaned across the couch and hugged Lanie.

"Thanks Lanie."

"Anytime. Have you told anyone else at the precinct?"

"No…not yet. I want to be…really sure, you know?"

"Yes. Only because its you. You know the boys will give him hell, right?"

"Oh, I'm looking forward to it."

They both laughed, then Lanie glanced at her watch.

"I should get going."

"I should get to bed too. We need to do this more."

"Yes, we do."

Kate walked Lanie to the door and, after a brief argument where Kate insisted that Lanie take half of the cupcakes, Kate hugged her goodbye and locked the door behind her. She grabbed her cell phone off of the coffee table and shuffled into her bedroom. She peeled off her clothes and pulled on sweatpants and an old t-shirt, crawled into bed and pulled the covers up under her chin. It felt weird to be alone after spending the last few nights falling asleep with Castle holding her. If she was completely honest with herself, she missed it. She missed him. She missed them. She hadn't ever been in a relationship that had felt so right. For the first time in a long time she drifted to sleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

Author's Note:

To those of you who have been reading and take the time to review often, thank you so much :D Hearing that I made you smile really does make my day.

If you have read this thing the whole way through, I really do thank you. It means a lot 3


	30. Chapter 30

Kate woke up early and was at the precinct before she needed to be. She dropped of the Cds that Haven had given them to the tech department and settled down at her desk to re read the hand written letters from Victoria. She put them in a folder and as flipping through them like a book as she twirled her hair around her finger. The more she read, the more it seemed like Victoria's own father was the prime suspect. The idea made her almost physically ill. Parents were supposed to love, support and nurture their children; not kill them. They still didn't have much evidence and she was basing her conclusion on the fact that he was the person with the most motive. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't notice Castle until he sat a cup of coffee on her desk.

"Good morning Beckett."

She smiled at the emphasis he placed on the first syllable of her last name. He glanced around the bullpen to make sure no one was there before leaning down and kissing the top of her had as he ran his hand along her shoulders.

"Castle!" She scolded, but at the same time she leaned into his touch, surprised at how much she had missed him.

"Relax, no one is here. I know better."

"Speaking of that, how did you know I was here? It's early."

"Vulcan mind meld?"

She raised one eyebrow at him.

"No, that probably wouldn't work with you. Very few can be resistant to it, but I'm sure you would be. Anyhow. I stopped by your place first, but you weren't there. Here was really the only other option."

"Why were you stopping by my place so early?"

"To either make or take you to breakfast. But you had to kill that idea by coming to work early, so you have to settle for coffee and a bear claw."

He winked at her as he sat in his chair and handed her a bear claw. She scowled at him, then took it.

"So, anything interesting in those letters?"

"Nothing we didn't read on the first CD. Its just better that its in her writing."

He watched her face as she spoke. They way her eyes drifted back over to the folder. The way her forehead wrinkled as she thought. The way she would bite her bottom lip every once in a while. Her whole face said she was on to something.

"So…what are you thinking?" He asked quietly. He knew that sometimes her verbalizing her train of thought lead to a break through, but he didn't want to interrupt her either. She sighed quietly, then looked at him. For a second he thought she was going to cry, and then it was gone.

"My gut?"

"Whatever you want to share."

"It's looking more and more like her father might have done it. And…that makes me sick."

"Me too."

She sighed again and went back to reading the letters. She put per right elbow on her desk and leaned her temple against that hand as she read. Her other hand rested on the other side of the folder. They sat in companionable silence, Castle stayed quiet and just watched her read. After a few minutes he slid his hand over next to hers and tucked his pointer finger between her pinky and ring finger, looped it around her pinky and squeezed. She smiled without looking up at him and left her hand where it was. She was surprised to find herself comforted by the small gesture and decided since no one was there anyways, to leave her hand there. She was starting to notice that his little touches were reminders not to get completely lost in the case. She realized that he always seemed to know when she need it too. He had a way of knowing just when she was about to cross over that line and completely loose herself in the case. His brief squeeze of her arm, or a gentle hand on her back were his way of reminding her that he was there, and she didn't have to go off into the deep end alone. If she were being honest with herself, she would admit that she was starting to like it.

They sat that way for another ten minutes before she glanced at her watch and pulled her hand away. Ryan and Esposito would be in soon, and she didn't want to hear it from them. Her timing turned out to be perfect. A few minutes later Ryan and Esposito stepped off of the elevator.

"Good morning boys."

"Good morning Beckett, Castle. You two are here early." Esposito answered with a smile as he walked up to her desk.

"Early…together." Ryan added. Beckett looked at them both and winked.

"It's because I stayed at his house last night."

Both of their jaws dropped open. It was all Castle could do to maintain a straight face. It shocked him to hear the joke about their relationship come from Beckett. It was usually him who joked about them being together.

"Seriously?" Esposito asked. Beckett just raised her eyebrows at him and smiled, then went back to reading. Ryan turned to Castle.

"Is she serious? Did she stay at your place last night?"

Castle just smiled slowly and raised one eyebrow. Ryan and Esposito looked at each other, then back at Beckett. She tried to keep a straight face but the stunned expressions on their faces made it impossible. She broke down laughing.

"God no, I'm not serious! Why would I stay at his place? Other than in his dreams. You guys are so easy."

Castle laughed with her and Ryan and Esposito glared at them. It was Esposito who spoke.

"There is something going on between you. We will find out what it is."

They both turned and walked to their desks, sulking.

"Alright, guys, lets see if we can dig a little deeper on Victora's dad. I have tech working on the Cds from last night. Why don't you guys go back to the building, talk to neighbors, the doorman, see if anyone at all remembers seeing him there the night she was killed. Call me if you find anything."

"On it." They both answered as they headed back towards the elevator. Beckett flipped through the last of Victoria's letters and closed the folder.

"Well?" Castle asked.

"Nothing much different than what is on the Cds."

"So why make a written copy too?"

"I would guess she wrote them first, then realized a digital copy would be easier to hide. I'm not really sure. I'm glad she did, because we can prove it is her writing."

"Now what?"

"We wait to see what is on those other Cds. We hope Ryan and Esposito find something that can connect him to the scene the day of the murder. At the moment all we have is a shoe print. That could have been from any day, the maid hadn't been there, so its not like the rug would have been recently vacuumed."

"Are you brining him in after we find out what is on the other Cds?"

"Yes. I'll bring him in and talk to him again."

"And try to get him to confess?"

"That will depend on him. If I push too hard, he may ask for his lawyer. If he does that, we're screwed. But yes, I will hope…that if he did it, he confesses."

"So for now, we just…wait?"

"Yes Castle, why?"

"I just…you want to go grab real food? Just something to bring back?"

Beckett smiled at him. She knew he was just trying to keep her busy so she didn't think too much about everything that was going on. She appreciated the gesture because the truth was she didn't want to sit and think any more than she already had, and she was having trouble sitting still.

"Sure. Lets go."

They walked towards the elevator together, slightly closer than normal, and Castle whispered.

"I'm insulted, by they way, at your suggestion that you would never stay at my place."

"Oh are you?"

"Yes."

"Well then, I'll remind you of that next time you wake up with your arm wrapped around me." She spoke softly as they got in the elevator.

"You mean…there will be a next time?"

"Unless…you don't want there to be a next time?" She winked at him as the doors slid shut and she stepped closer to him. He looked at her and had to almost physically fight the desire to kiss her.

"Screw next time, I want it to be every morning."

Kate's heart skipped a beat. That wasn't the answer she had been expecting, but she could tell he meant it. She wasn't sure how to respond so she leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Castle."

She stepped away so they were their typical distance apart when the elevator doors slid open. She walked out ahead of him so she didn't see the huge smile on his face as he followed her down the hall.

* * *

Beckett and Castle had just gotten back in the car from grabbing to go food at a diner down the street. Beckett didn't want anything, she was too anxious to eat. Castle had ordered enough food to feed practically everyone at the precinct and was loading boxes of breakfast burritos into the back seat when her phone rang.

"Beckett."

"You're gonna love this." It was Esposito.

"What?"

"So, we came to Victoria's apartment and were talking to neighbors. No one remembers seeing the father here."

"And I'm loving this because why exactly?"

"Give me a minute. Geez. So, we decided to come up to her apartment. Turns out her mom was home. We came inside, and I had left the internet running in the background on my phone, and it automatically synced with their wireless internet connection, which is not password protected."

"Alright…"

"So, I thought that maybe whoever was here that night might have had the same thing happen."

"I'm listening."

"So I called the internet company. They were able to give me the IP address of the devices connected to the internet that night. There was one that connected at 12:15 and then lost connection at 12:50. It was from a mobile phone. More specifically, Jake Harding's mobile phone."

Beckett's face fell and for a split second she thought she might throw up. She tightened her grip on the steering wheel with one hand even though the car was in park; it was something to hold on to. Castle got in the car from loading boxes in the back seat, took one look at her face and reached for her hand. She let him take it as she slowly exhaled the breathe she had been holding.

"Beckett?" Esposito asked quietly.

"Sorry…um…yea. That's great. Let's…finish talking to the neighbors. Maybe check with businesses along the street, anything that would have been open late or has video surveillance. See if we can find someone who actually saw him there. Check with Sydney and Trevor again too. Call me with anything new."

"Yea…okay." He mumbled as he hung up the phone. She knew he was confused at her lack of excitement at finally finding something more solid to connect Jake to the crime scene, but she couldn't help it that a big part of her didn't want it to be him. Castle squeezed her hand, brining her back to reality.

"What did they find?"

"Jake Harding's mobile phone connected with the wireless internet at the apartment the night Victoria was killed…at 12:15 and disconnected at 12:50"

That puts him at the crime scene, during the time of death."

"I know it does."

"I know you don't want it to be him…and I understand why. But…if it is him, that family…and her friends…they deserve the truth."

Beckett exhaled sharply. Damn it he knew her too well at times. The truth. It was what she had been chasing in her mothers case for years. She knew, from personal experience, it was a huge step towards closure. It was the thing that drove her in all of her cases. The thing that kept her up all night and sometimes meant sleeping on the couch in the break room. Giving people the closure that she didn't have yet by finding out the truth; because no matter how hard it was to hear at first, the truth could never hurt you. It was something her mother had taught her. She turned to Castle, fighting to keep the tears from forming in her eyes.

"Thanks."

"For…"

"Just…thanks."

"You're welcome then. Lets get back to the precinct."

She nodded as she started the car and headed back. Castle didn't let go of her hand the entire ride back. He ran his thumb softly over the back of her hand and she found herself sad to let go as they got out of the car.

Castle was his normal outgoing self and walked around the precinct announcing breakfast to anyone who would listen. Beckett wandered back to her desk and found the Cds from the tech department sitting there. She put one in the computer and was halfway through looking at its contents when Castle got back to her desk. He wordlessly moved his chair behind hers and started reading over her shoulder. She smiled and scooted her chair sideways so he could move up next to her. He slid up next to her and put his hand on her knee under her desk. She glanced sideways at him and shook her head softly, but didn't make him move his hand.

"If anyone sees that, you'll be waking up alone for a long time." She whispered. He responded by squeezing her knee and whispering back.

"I'll take my chances."

The sat and looked over the contents of the Cds over the next hour and a half. They were copies of patient files of the patients that Jake Harding had tricked into using in vitro. There were copies of emailed that had been sent to the pharmacist in Jake Harding's office building. They were from one time use email addresses and contained nothing more than the first and last name of the patient, but there was an email for almost every file. Kate picked up the phone and called Esposito.

"While you're out, swing by Jake Harding's office and talk to a Mr. Evanleigh. See if you can get him to confess to Jake paying him off. Call me when you're done."

"So, are you bringing Jake Harding in?" Castle asked once she had hung up with Esposito.

"Most likely. But I want to wait to see what Esposito and Ryan come up with. I want to have everything before we bring him in. So far, we have him on medical malpractice. But that's not murder. If he doesn't ask for a lawyer the second I bring him in, I'll only have one shot to talk to him without one. I want to have everything I can."

* * *

Authors Note: Thank you for all of the reviews from the last Chapter. Who would have thought, with all of the Castle/Beckett fluff in this story that the Lanie/Beckett chapter would get the most reviews. Lol

I'm going to borrow something that I see in a lot of stories on here.

Review that made my day:** NewspaperBalloons ~ **not just for this chapter, but for your many other reviews also. Your reviews always make me smile**  
**


	31. Chapter 31

About an hour later Ryan and Esposito came back to the precinct. They walked over to Beckett's desk where Castle and Beckett were sitting next to each other re reading the case files from the Cds Haven had given them. Ryan raised and eyebrow at the fact that they were sitting so close together but neither one of them commented.

"So, we spoke with Steven Evanleigh. Turns out he was quick to confess to being paid to switch the drugs. He was always paid in cash. Half up front, half when the in vitro was completed. At first it didn't happen that often, but then it got to be more and more frequent. At first, it was just the really rich clients, but then it started being people with less and less money. I guess Jake was getting greedy." Esposito finished his statement with more than a hint of disgust in his voice. Ryan picked up where he left off.

"So, Steven got smart and figured that soon Jake was going to get caught. He demanded at least one payment be made by check. The check came from the company that owns Jake's building. It was made out to cash instead of a person. The signature was a stamp, not an actual written signature. Guess who has the only stamp?"

Beckett rolled her eyes as she played along. She knew they had just gone though a lot of work for the case.

"Jake Harding?"

"Yes!" Ryan and Esposito both answered at the same time. "So," Esposito continued, "Steven Evanleigh is down here right now filling out a written statement."

"Alright, so we have proof that he was committing medical malpractice. We have proof that Victoria knew. That is motive. We have a shoe print at the crime scene, and his cell phone linking to their internet the night of the murder. I still wish we had something more solid. He can always claim his cell was stolen or lost that night."

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other and smiled.

"We spoke with the owner of a jewelry store about five minutes down the street from Victoria's building. He has video surveillance twenty four hours, with one camera facing down the street. We have video of Jake Harding walking towards the building at 12:10 and one walking away at 12:55." Ryan finished by handing Beckett a copy of the surveillance DVD.

She took it from him and shoved it into the DVD drive on her computer. Her heart sank and she got a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach when it was Jake Harding on the video. It had been edited down to only his part, and she sighed when it was over.

"So, do we bring him in?" Esposito asked. Beckett thought for a moment. If she had him picked up and brought in for questioning he would almost immediately request a lawyer. She didn't want that.

"No, I'll call him and ask him if he can come back down so I can ask him some more questions. He will be less likely to think that we suspect him if I do it that way."

"Alright." Ryan and Esposito answered together, sounding dejected. Beckett smiled at them.

"You guys did an awesome job. Thank you. I promise, next time you can drag the bad guy in here. Just not this one, kay?"

The boys both laughed and muttered their thanks at her as the walked to the break room to get coffee. Beckett huffed as she pulled out her cell phone. She glanced at Castle before dialing Jake Harding's number. He nodded at her.

"It's what needs to be done to find out the truth." She nodded in agreement and dialed his number.

"Hello?" He answered on the third ring.

"Hi Mr. Harding, this is Detective Beckett."

"Hello Detective, any news on my daughters case?"

"Nothing new I'm afraid, but I was wondering if you could come down to the precinct and answer a few more questions? Just to tie up some loose ends."

"Um, sure. I can do that. I could be there in about an hour and a half. I see my last patient in an hour, and it takes me a little while to get there. Is that okay?"

"Thanks fine. Thank you Mr. Harding. I'll see you shortly."

Beckett hung up the phone and bit the inside of her bottom lip. As much as she didn't want it to end up that Jake Harding had killed his own daughter, all of the evidence was starting to point at him. She looked over at Castle who smiled at her sympathetically.

"You're doing the right thing you know? Victoria doesn't have anyone else to stand up for her."

"I know…I know…its just…I wish it could be another way, ya know?"

"Of course."

"Well, I'm going to get stuff together for talking to her dad. You're welcome to sit here at watch, or you can see what the boys are up to."

Castle took her statement as a hint that she wanted to be alone and he wandered over to Ryan and Esposito's desk. Kate watched him walk away and wanted to take it back. He had picked up on the fact that she wanted some space, but now that he had given it to her, she wasn't sure it had been the best idea.

She busied herself with putting her notes in order and pulling pictures from the crime scene. She wanted everything together in one folder that would flow with the series of questions she had in mind.

Castle pulled up a chair next to Ryan and Esposito, who were finishing paperwork for the day. Esposito eyed him curiously.

"Since when do you shadow anyone but Beckett?"

"Since she all but told me to leave her alone for a while."

A look of worry crossed Esposito's face.

"This case has been tough for her."

"Yes."

"Especially because it looks like it was most likely the dad." Ryan added solemnly, then continued. "You might want to go back over there in a few minutes. You know…she would never admit it…especially not to you, but she likes having you around."

"We all do bro, you keep us laughing just when we need it."

Castle smiled at both of them fondly. It wasn't often that they shared their emotions, so he knew what an honor it was.

"Thanks guys. I feel very lucky that you all put up with having me around."

Ryan and Esposito nodded and the conversation lapsed into silence. Beckett glanced up and noticed Castle watching her from across the bullpen. She smiled at the look of concern on his face. She tried to go back to what she was doing but the ringing phones and noise of the bullpen was too distracting. She decided to go to one of the conference rooms, gathered her stuff and stood up to leave.

"Where are you off to?" Esposito asked.

"Conference room. Its easier to think there." She hesitated a beat, then added "You coming Castle?" She didn't wait for his response, instead she turned and walked down the hall. Ryan nudged Castle in the shoulder.

"See? I told you. Go on. Keep her sane until he gets here."

Castle nodded and hurried to catch up to Beckett. She let out a breath as she closed the door of the conference room behind them and started spreading stuff out on the table. Castle sat on the sofa and Beckett sat next to him, their legs touching. She starting sifting through the hand written letters from Victoria and picking out specific ones and putting them in an order that would match the order of questions she planned to ask. She tucked the crime scene photos into the back of the folder and hoped she wouldn't have to use them.

About half way through the process Castle shifted on the sofa so their sides were pressed against each other. Beckett leaned against him slightly and then kept working. When she was done, she looked at her watch. Jake Harding should be there in fifteen minutes. She rolled her shoulders, then rolled her neck from side to side in an attempted to get rid of some of the tension. It didn't work very well and she leaned back against the back of the sofa. Castle slid his hand over to rest on her thigh and, after a second of consideration, she rested her hand on top of his and laced her fingers into the spaces between his. She was pretty sure no one would be walking in, and if they did she didn't really care.

"You okay?" He asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yea. Its just…"

"It sucks?" He offered. She smiled, but barely. It was good enough for him.

"Yes, it definitely sucks.

She absentmindedly ran her thumb over the back of his hand as she thought. It wasn't the interrogation she was worried about. She had done hundreds of them. It was the fact that she only had one chance with this one.

"I don't want to let her down Castle." She said softly, her voice on the edge of tears. Castle mind flashed back to the last time he had heard her say that. They were standing in the observation room before she had gone in to interrogate Dick Coonan; her mothers killer, though she hadn't known that at the time. She had asked him about letting her mother down. He had broken the tension and got her back in focus by making a joke about why he chose her as his inspiration for Nikki Heat. In the moment, he had done what he felt he needed to do to help her. This time, a joke didn't feel right. He turned on the sofa so he was facing her. She lifted her head off the back of the sofa, her eyes meeting his.

"You won't." She smiled at how confident he sounded. The amount of faith he had in her never failed to amaze her. "You won't let her down because, even though you don't like it, you know what the truth is, and you won't stop until everyone else does too."

She squeezed his had as a sense of clarity settled over her. He was right. She was going to break this guy, no matter what it took, and that was all there was to it.

"Thanks Castle." She let go of his hand, stood up, and headed towards the interrogation room. Jake Harding would be there soon, and she had every intention of making sure he confessed.

* * *

Author's Note:

Thank you to everyone who continues to read this. It makes me smile every time someone adds it to their alert list. I'm flattered. Honestly, I am.

Review that made my day: **Greered - **Thank you for noticing the attention that I try to pay to detail, and the balance I try to keep between the fluff and the case stuff AND for appreciating the Star Trek ref in the last chapter :)


	32. Chapter 32

Jake Harding sat in the interrogation room waiting for Beckett. He was leaned back in the chair, his arms crossed in front of him. A defensive posture, but not nervous. Beckett, Ryan, Esposito, Castle and the captain all stood in the observation room. Castle stood close enough to Beckett so that he could rest his hand against her hip and no one noticed. She shifted closer to him as she watched Jake. He looked like he had no idea what was about to happen, which was perfect. She had worried for a minute that Steven Evanleigh might have said something about their visit with him earlier, but it didn't appear that he had.

"Castle, I think its best if you sit this one out." Captain Montgomery said in a low tone. Castle just nodded. He was more focused on Beckett. He watched in awe as she took a deep breath and erased all traces of emotion from her face as she headed towards the interrogation room. He turned to Ryan and Esposito, who smiled.

"If anyone can do this, its Beckett." Ryan said quietly. All of the men in the room nodded in agreement then turned their attention to the interrogation room as Beckett walked in and closed the door behind her.

She had plastered a fake smile on her face and her tone of voice was pleasant as she took the chair across the table from Jake.

"Thank you for coming again Mr. Harding."

"Of course, anything I can do to help."

"Thank you. I'm going to have to ask you a few questions, some of them I might have asked you before. Its just standard procedure."

Jake nodded his agreement and Beckett opened the folder, pretending to look at notes, and continued.

"Can you tell me about your relationship with Victoria? Were the two of you close?"

She folded her hands in front of her and left them resting on top of the folder on the table.

"We got a long, but I don't know that I would consider us close. We were closer when she was younger, but recently she had been annoyed with me. I told you, because I didn't think she needed to spend so much time with her boyfriend."

"But you were close when she was young?"

"Yes, for a few years she was the very typical daddy's little girl."

Beckett's eyes were locked on Jake Harding's face and she saw his features soften as he remembered those days. She decided to take advantage of the moment of weakness and go straight after the first point.

"Since you guys were close, it must have been pretty upsetting for her to find out that you weren't her biological father then?"

She watched as his expression changed from one of nostalgia, to shock, to outrage. His eyes flew to hers.

"Excuse me?"

"Its true, isn't it Mr. Harding, that you are not Victoria's biological father? That the sperm used during the in vitro was not your own, but that of a "Donor J"?"

She tilted her head slightly and held his gaze as she waited for him to answer. Jake opened and closed his mouth a few times before answering.

"Yes, that is true."

"And isn't it also true that Victoria found out about this on her own, while going through files that she was supposed to be organizing for you?"

"Yes…she came over to help during the summer one year as part of some community program. She had to do volunteer work. She was supposed to be organizing files and she found a copy that I had of her own." Jake sighed heavily and Beckett could see more sadness come across his face.

"Did you and her mother ever plan on telling her yourselves?"

"Her mother didn't know. She was having so much trouble getting pregnant and the eggs I was fertilizing with my sperm weren't becoming viable. It started as just a test, to see if it would work with other sperm…and when it was so easy…she wanted a baby so badly…."

His sentence trailed into silence as he fought to control his tears. Beckett gave him a minute to regain his composure.

"How did you react when Victoria told you that she knew?"

"I told her that I was sorry. That it didn't change the fact that I loved her. She was upset with me, but not as much as she should have been."

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow at him "Because, that's not what Victoria recalls."

Beckett took one of the letters out of the folder and slide it across the table towards Jake.

"Is this your daughters hand writing?"

Jake looked down at the paper, his eyes becoming teary again.

"Yes, it is."

Beckett took the paper back and read out loud.

"I finally got up the nerve to tell dad today that I know I'm not his. He was so mad. He said he had just been doing what he needed to do to make mom happy. That she had been the one who wanted a baby so bad, so that's what he gave her. He was really mad when I mentioned telling mom. He said if I wasn't such a nosy bitch, no one would have ever known any different and this was the exact reason why he never wanted a kid in the first place. We just get in the way of everything. I know he didn't mean it, he was just mad. At least I hope he didn't…."

Beckett stopped reading when a noise that sounded half way between a cough and a sob came from Jake's throat.

"I didn't mean it…I loved her." He choked out, his voice raspy. Beckett kept her gaze steady, her voice even.

"Mr. Harding, why didn't you think any of this was important to tell us regarding your daughters case the first time we spoke?"

"I don't know Detective, would you want something like this being public knowledge?"

"If it meant finding my daughters killer, yes, I would."

Beckett's expression changed slightly, her anger showing only in her eyes and Jake turned his eyes away from her gaze. Beckett continued.

"Do you know if Victoria told her mother about any of this?"

"I don't believe so. I assume if she had told her, that Amber would have called me. She never did."

She nodded and pretended to be making notes. They had come to the critical part in the questioning. The part where she could either make or break the case. She had two options; to go straight to the point and ask where he had been the night of the murder, or to bring up the malpractice cases that Victoria had found out about first. She went with her gut.

"Mr. Harding, where were you the night of your daughters murder between midnight and two am?"

'At home, sleeping. I left for the conference the next morning, remember?"

"Yes, I do. But I have reason to believe you were at her apartment that night."

"What? Why would I have been there?" He asked, his shock almost sounded believable. Beckett lowered her voice and leaned towards him across the table.

"Because, Mr Harding, the fact that you weren't her real father wasn't the only secret of yours that Victoria uncovered that summer was it?"

Her eyes met his as the shock of realization came across his face. His eyes grew wide as he realized what she was talking about and Beckett thought for a minute that she had him, then the look of recognition was quickly replaced by a mask of fake confusion.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, you don't? Well here, let me help you."

She opened the file and started pulling paperwork from it, laying it in a line facing him across the table as she read the names out loud.

"Karen Martin, Chrissy Stone, Miranda Montgomery, LaTonya O'Keefe, Sabrina Karbifian, are these names starting to sound familiar? They should, they are the names of woman that you tricked into having in vitro. They are the same names that you emailed to your pharmacist, Steven Evanleigh, so that he knew to switch their fertility drugs with birth control which eventually let them to the next step in trying to conceive. The more expensive step. Victoria found out about all of this too that summer going through your files, didn't she?"

She hesitated, just for a second, to give him a chance to respond, and when his only response was his mouth dropping open, she continued.

"Steven Evenleigh has already given us a statement, so we know it's the truth. So,what happened when Victoria confronted you with this Jake? Wait…I already know, because Victoria wrote about that day too." She paused to pull another letter out of the folder and read out loud. 'I begged him to stop. To confess to someone what he had been doing and just make it right. I told him that if he wouldn't tell that I would, because all of those people deserved to know the truth. He wouldn't listen to me and told me if I knew what was good for me, I would mind my own business. He doesn't know that I made copies before I ever said anything to him. I'm still not sure what to do, I wish he would just tell the truth.'"

Beckett looked up from the letter to see tears rolling down Jake's face. She put the letter back in the folder and asked quietly.

"You found out she made copies though, didn't you? And you paid her boyfriend to erase all of the evidence off of her laptop."

Jake slowly nodded, his tears flowing more freely now. Beckett leaned forward farther, her eyes locking on his.

"Where were you that night Jake?"

"I told you, at home." His voice was thick and he sounded unsure of himself.

"Then maybe you can explain these. Two pictures; one that shows you walking towards Victoria's building at 12:10 and one that shows you leaving at 12:55. While your at it, maybe you can explain why your cell phone synced to the wireless internet at the apartment at 12:15, and disconnected at 12:50."

As she spoke Beckett slide the picture across the table, as well as the record of the internet connection.

"If you were at home Jake, how do you explain those?"

Jake took a deep, shaky breath and leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. His shoulders shook as he cried.

"I went to her place that night…to make sure that Trevor had done his part. I didn't want to get him involved. I had begged her to give me the copies and erase them off the laptop. I told her how many lives she would be destroying. But she wouldn't listen. She just kept saying that I needed to tell the truth. I tried explaining to her that we would loose everything. I would never be able to practice again. We would loose the houses, the cars, everything. Not to mention the drama it would cause with families that were already happy, but she just….wanted nothing to do with it. So…I paid Trevor to wipe her laptop clean. I went to her apartment to make sure he had done his part. Victoria was on her bed, drugged like I knew she would be. I turned on the laptop and checked it, then turned if off and left."

"Where was Victoria when you left the apartment Mr Harding?"

"On her bed." His eyes flicked away from hers for a second as he answered, but Beckett saw it.

"So you mean to tell me, it took you 35 minutes to turn on a laptop, check it, and turn it back off."

"If that's how long I was there, yes."

Beckett could feel herself becoming infuriated by his outright lies. She swallowed and took a breath before speaking again.

"I don't believe you Mr. Harding. Let me tell you what I think happened that night. You went there with the intention of making sure that Trevor had done his job. But when you got there, you realized that Victoria would tell the truth, even without the files as backup. You couldn't risk that because if someone searched hard enough, they could find what you had been up to. Your own daughter already had. So you had to make sure that she didn't. You ran the bathtub while you checked the laptop. Then you carried her to the bathtub. You didn't undress her, because you loved her, and you wouldn't want her found like that. Then you put her in the bathtub, slit both of her wrists, and stayed there until you were sure that she had bled enough that she couldn't be saved, and then you left. She even looked peaceful, just like she was sleeping, didn't she?"

She pulled out the first picture of the crime scene, the one that only showed Victoria's face; pale but peaceful. She slid it quietly across the table. Jake cringed at first, then reached for it and picked it up. He took a deep breath, then started crying quietly as he ran his finger over the picture.

"I just didn't know what else to do." He said quietly, a tear falling onto the picture. "I couldn't let her ruin all our lives like that."

"So you left her to bleed to death in the bathtub." Kate took another picture, this one showed the whole bathtub and presented a much more graphic picture. She started to slide it across the table and Jake turned away.

"No more. I can't look at that."

"Its what you did to her Jake." Beckett said, making no attempt to conceal the anger and disgust that dripped like venom from her voice. At that statement Jake broke down into gut wrenching sobs.

"I know! I know its what I did to her and I've hated myself every day since then. I would give anything to take it all back! I…I didn't want to kill her…"

Beckett's hands shook slightly as she motioned to Ryan and Esposito through the one way mirror. Castle was so transfixed on the scene in front of him that he didn't even realize they had left until they were walking into the interrogation room.

"Jake Harding, you are under arrest for the murder of Victoria Harding. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you can not afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?" Ryan read Jake his rights as Esposito handcuffed him.

"Yes." Jake's answer came out as a forced whisper as she was lead from the interrogation room.

"Mr. Harding?" Beckett called as he was being led though the door. He glanced back at her.

"Victoria would have been proud of you….for finally telling the truth."

Her statement brought on a whole new slew of tears as he was lead down the hall to processing. As soon as the interrogation room door clicked shut behind them Beckett dropped her head into her hands, her fingers threading through her hair. Castle swallowed hard on the other side of the mirror. He wanted to go comfort her but knew better, especially in front of the captain who was still standing there.

"She is amazing." He managed to force the words around the emotion that was building in his throat. The captain smiled at him.

"That she is. She is the best damn detective I have ever trained. Now go take care of her, she needs you right now."

Castle turned to the captain, his eyes wide with shock.

"I'm sorry sir?"

The captain laughed softly.

"Castle, if you think people can't see what's going on between the two of you, you must think we are all blind and stupid. But that is none of my business. What is my business, is that my best detective needs her partner right now. This case was rough for her. I knew it would be from the start. That woman doesn't lean on many people. You, for whatever reason, are one of the few she will lean on. So go…take care of her. I'll make sure no one comes in here."

Castle smiled at the Captains use of the word partner and nodded as he headed towards the interrogation room. Beckett looked up as the door clicked closed behind him.

"Hey Castle." She said softly, dropping her head back into her hands.

"Hey." His reply was just as soft as he pulled up the chair next to her. Kate fought to keep some sort of control over her emotions and barely noticed when Castle slid his arm around her shoulders. Part of her was thrilled that she had gotten him to confess. Part of her was sick that a father had killed his own child. Part of her was sick for Amber having to hear that her ex husband had killed their child. Her heart broke for everything that was going to be turned upside down in Ambers world. She knew when it was all over, the truth was best for everyone, but that didn't mean that the waves it caused were always easy to deal with. She slowly became aware of Castle rubbing her back. She tensed as she realized that anyone walking through the observation room could see.

"Don't worry. I was ordered by the Captain to come take care of you. No one is in there."

"Take care of me?" Kate bristled slightly at the comment, Castle laughed.

"I knew that would get you. That was amazing. I told you that you wouldn't let her down."

"If I won, why does it feel so horrible?"

"There was no winner in this one, just the truth, which you got."

He stood up and held out his hand to her.

"Come here."

She put her hand in his and let him pull her up off of the chair and into his arms.

"Castle…" She whispered his name as she went willingly into his arms; it was part question, part statement, and part longing. She sighed as she leaned against him. She had her heels on, so her head rested against his shoulder instead of his chest, but it didn't matter. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he kissed her temple.

"Shhh. Its over, and you did it."

She nodded against his shoulder and they stood that way for a few minutes before Kate let go.

"Its almost over. I have to call Amber and have her come down here so I can tell her."

"I'll be right there with you, if you want me to be."

Kate smiled at him as they walked out of the interrogation room.

"I know you will Castle, and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have on my side."

* * *

Author's Note: That was the hardest chapter for me to write. I had other moments where I got stuck ,but this one I pondered over for days. For me, Beckett's presence in the interrogation room is such a physical thing. I hope I did it justice trying to put it into words. Reviews/suggestions for improvement would be awesome.

Review that made my day: **emzeecastle ~ **for reading the entire thing in one go. O.o you have no idea how flattered I am. And for noticing the balance I try to keep between all the aspects/relationships in the story.

And to everyone who has been reading/reviewing. You all make me smile. Thank you :D


	33. Chapter 33

When they walked back into the bullpen Ryan and Esposito weren't back at their desks yet. Castle assumed they were still with Jake Harding. Beckett sat at her desk and Castle moved his chair back to its usual spot before sitting. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and texts Alexis, just to tell her he loved her. Beckett looked at him from the corner of her eyes.

"I was…telling Alexis that I love her. It's just that….considering…"

"Yea, I know."

They smiled at each other, a moment longer than necessary, then Beckett went back to filling out paperwork. Castle watched her for a few minutes and was glad to see that most of the tension from earlier this morning was gone. She was still upset over the case, but most of the worst was behind her.

"Don't you have to call Amber?" He asked quietly.

"Yea…I do. I was just…giving it a minute."

"Of course. Coffee?"

"I'd love some."

Beckett watched him walk towards the break room, then picked up her phone and dialed Amber's number. She picked up halfway through the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hello Amber, this is Detective Beckett."

"Detective, hello. How are you? What can I help you with?"

"I need you to come down to the precinct."

"Okay. Have you…found anything?"

"Yes, we have. Its not something I think should be discussed over the phone. When can you come down?"

"I'll be there within the hour."

"Thank you."

Beckett flipped her phone shut as Ryan and Esposito walked up to her desk. She raised an eyebrow at them as they walked up.

"Well, you did it. He's with his attorney now going over his confession. He's confessing to everything. The malpractice, Victoria's murder. His statement is being drawn up now." Esposito smiled at her as he finished.

Beckett sighed as she realized this one was finally over. She smiled at Esposito, then at Ryan.

"You were amazing in there Beckett." Ryan said softly. Beckett shook her head.

"Don't act like it was all me. Every case is solved by team work, and you guys know that. This one was no different."

Castle stopped just short of Beckett's desk on his way back with the coffee. He smiled at the three detectives, none of which were very comfortable expressing their emotions, trying to tell each other how much they appreciated one another after a particularly emotional case. He heard Beckett's comment about team work and realized, not for the first time, how lucky he was to get to work with them.

"You guys do make one hell of a team." He said with a smile. All three of them turned to look at him.

"Yea, we do." Ryan laughed.

"All four of us. Get your ass over here Castle, you're just as much a part of this team as we are…even if you only bring coffee to Beckett." Esposito elbowed Castle as he handed Beckett the coffee cup.

"Ah, I just provide the entertainment, and occasionally food. You guys are the real team, I know that."

"You help more than you realize Castle." Beckett said softly. "And you, hush." She pointed at Esposito as he opened his mouth to comment.

"I was just going to agree with you." He said innocently.

"Uh huh, sure."

"Seriously though Castle, Beckett is right. You do help a lot more than you realize. And you're definitely part of the team."

"Well, whatever help you think I am, I am honored to be considered part of your team."

There was a moment of friendly silence where they all stood around Beckett's desk, each of them lost in their own train of thought. The moment was interrupted by the phone on Beckett's desk ringing. Amber was there.

"Detective Beckett, Amber is here to see you."

"Thank you officer Velazquez. Please show her to the conference room. I'll be right there."

Beckett hung up the phone and looked at the boys.

"Well, here comes the hard part."

Esposito and Ryan nodded their heads slightly as they headed back to their desks. Beckett took a deep breath then stood up and headed for the conference room. Castle started to stand up, but then hesitated. She usually said something when she wanted him to come. Maybe she thought it would be better if it was just her and Amber. Beckett walked a few feet before realizing that Castle wasn't following her. She turned back towards him and made a "come here' motion with one finger. Castle smiled and moved to join her.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to come."

"Yea, I do. I don't want to do this one alone."

"Alright, then I'm right here."

Kate sighed as they walked in the door. These meetings were never easy. Some were easier than others, but they were never as happy as it would seem like they should be. Solving a case brought closure to many families, but it also tended to bring up questions that would never have answers. It also meant that it really was over. So many families lived and breathed the finding of their loved ones killer that, when they had been found, the finality of the situation became painfully clear.

They walked into the conference room where Amber was already waiting; seated in the chair across from the sofa. Beckett sat on the sofa and Castle sat next to her. He sat as close as he could without touching her.

"So what is going on? Did you find who killed Victoria?"

"Yes, Amber, we did."

Castle sat quietly as Beckett told Amber the whole story. She started with the fact that Jake was not Victoria's biological father and continued with the medical malpractice cases and finally Jakes confession. Castle reached across the table and wordlessly handed Amber a box of tissues as she started quietly crying about half way through Beckett's explanation.

"I'm so sorry Amber…" Beckett said softly when she finished. Amber's silent tears slowly turned into gut wrenching sobs as the truth of what had really happened to her daughter hit her. She wrapped her arms around herself and doubled over as she cried. Castle glanced at Beckett and could tell she was at a loss for words. He put his hand on her thigh to get her attention and when she looked at him he raised his eyebrows questioningly towards Amber. Beckett nodded slowly. Castle stood up and moved over by Amber's chair. He put his hand on her back softly.

"Hey, shhh. You need to calm down, all this isn't good for your baby."

Amber lifted her head, her eyes red and swollen from crying. She took a few deep, shaky breaths.

"H-how could he do that to his own daughter? H-he was supposed to love her. And how could I not see…there had to be signs that he was crazy enough to do something like this? What did I miss?"

"You know what? We will never understand why or how he did what he did."

Castle spoke low, in his story telling voice. It always amazing Beckett how he seemed to slip into that voice without realizing it or meaning to. It always worked. Beckett watched as Amber slowly stopped sobbing so violently as Castle continued.

"But you can't blame yourself. As parents we spend so much time trying to protect our kids. Trying to keep them innocent as long as we can because we know that once that innocence is gone, we can't ever get it back. We spend so much time trying to instill morals in them, and our greatest hope is that they grow up to be good people. Your daughter was already a good person. All she wanted was for people to know the truth. That's more than I can say for most adults I know."

As he spoke Amber's crying had slowed to almost a stop. She smiled up at him through blurry eyes.

"Thank you. I just wish the baby…she would have made an amazing big sister."

"She still can. If you raise that baby the same way you did Victoria, part of her will always be remembered. Make sure you tell a lot of stories."

Amber smiled at him again, then turned to Beckett.

"Thank you, both of you, so very much. You promised me that you would find who did this, and you did. As much as what I just learned hurts, at least now I can try to heal."

"You're welcome Amber. Please don't hesitate to call if you need anything."

Beckett and Amber stood and hugged briefly. Amber came over and hugged Castle then headed out the door. As she opened the door she turned back to them,

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but I sincerely hope that I never have to see either one of you again."

"No offense taken." Beckett smiled as Amber closed the door behind her. Ryan was waiting outside to fill out some final paperwork and walk her back outside. Beckett walked over and sat in the chair where Amber had been. Castle had sat down on the arm and was surprised when Beckett leaned against him. Her head and shoulders resting on his hip and side.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"For what?"

"For calming her down. For what you said. That was…amazing. I couldn't come up with it."

"I didn't come up with anything, it was all true."

She turned her head and smiled up at him.

"I know, which makes it that much more amazing. And while we're talking about amazing. If I ever hear you refer to yourself as anything other than part of the team, I will be using something a little more solid than silhouette papers for my next target practice. You may not have a badge, but you are an important part of my team, understood?"

"Yes Detective." He said with a playful tone as he saluted her. The statement made him smile though. She didn't say how she felt very often, and he was flattered to be considered a part of the team that he respected so much. She leaned against him again and, out of what was quickly becoming habit, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He just as quickly pulled his arm away when he remembered where they were.

"Sorry, I forgot."

Kate laughed as she sat up.

"Its alright. Lets go see what they boys and the captain are up to. They've got to be just about done with paperwork."

They went back out into the bullpen and found the captain standing by Ryan and Esposito's desk. He turned and smiled as Beckett and Castle walked up.

"Just the two people I was looking for. We are going out for drinks tonight, attendance is mandatory, so Beckett close your mouth. Here is the address, I expect you there. Both of you."

He said as Beckett opened her mouth to protest. The captain handed the paper to Castle, knowing full well if he gave it to Beckett she would never come. She read it over his shoulder.

"Manic Mondays? Seriously captain…isn't that some random bar?"

"I think random and bar is exactly what we all need after that case."

"Sir, I appreciate the offer but I'm really okay with just going home and-"

"Beckett. It doesn't matter what you're okay with. Your entire team is going, and I know they all want you there. Castle…have her there at seven."

"Yes sir." he said with a smile as the Captain walked way, completely ignoring the rest of Beckett's protests. She turned to Castle and huffed.

Have me there at seven? Since when did you become my keeper?"

"Since he knows you would never show up on your own? Come on, it will be fun."

"Lanie is coming too." Esposito added. Beckett raised an eyebrow at him.

"And you know that how?"

"Um…Captain mentioned it."

"Uh huh. Well, if we have to be at….Manic Mondays….at seven, I want to go home and change and just…be for a little while. I'll see you guys there, I guess."

She grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair and headed for the elevator. Castle laughed at the way she exaggerated the name of the bar, like they were going to see an X rated movie instead of out for drinks. He waved goodbye at Ryan and Esposito as he followed Beckett to the elevator. They rode down to the first floor in comfortable silence. Kate leaned into his side and sighed as soon as the doors were closed. He didn't have to ask why, and simply leaned his head against the top of hers until they stopped at the second floor. She surprised him by reaching for his hand as soon as they were out the door of the precinct, then again when they got in the car.

"You okay?" He asked softly as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"Yea, I'm fine. Why?"

"Just…you usually wait until we're in the car to hold my hand."

She smiled at him and squeezed his hand. Her eyebrows furrowed together and he could tell she wanted to ask him something.

"What?"

"I feel stupid asking…"

"What is it?"

"Do you mind coming home with me while I get ready? I just…don't want to be alone. If don't want to, its fine, I just-"

"Kate, shh. Of course I'll come. Anything for you."

_Just let go Kate. He'll be there to catch you._

Her conversation with Lanie from the night before replayed in her head and she realized just how much truth there was in that statement.

* * *

Author's Note:

Thank you for all of the nice reviews on the last chapter. I'm glad people are enjoying reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. This is not the end, there are a few more chapters :)

Review that made my day: **SciFiGirl65, CastleCraze, Castletasmic **and anyone else who said it felt like they were watching the show. That is the biggest compliment you can give me. Thank you, many times over :)


	34. Chapter 34

They rode the rest of the way to her apartment in silence. She let go of his hand long enough to get out of the car, and then held it again as they walked up to her place. Once inside she slipped off her heels by the door and he pulled her against him in a hug. She loved how she fit just under his chin with her heels off and gladly wrapped her arms around him.

"I've wanted to do this all day."

"Mmm, you did…in the interrogation room earlier, remember?" She said, laughing quietly.

"No, I mean I've wanted to do this all day, as in, not let go."

"I'm okay Castle, I'm just glad its over….sad at the outcome, but glad we found out the truth."

Kate peeled herself away from his embrace, despite his protests, and led him over to the couch where she flopped, exhausted. Not so much in the physical sense, but emotionally, and she wanted to just be for a minute. Castle sat down next to her and pulled her against him. She ended up half laying down with her head on his chest and her arm draped around his waist. He ran his hand down her side and slid it under the bottom of her shit, letting it rest on her side, just above the waistband of her jeans. She shivered slightly at the feeling of his hand on her bare skin. He laughed quietly and she felt it in his chest more than she heard it.

"What are you laughing at?" She mumbled, already fighting to stay awake.

"I didn't know my touch would have such an effect on you Detective."

"Hmm, there are a lot of things you don't know about me Castle."

"I know, I'm starting to see that."

She could hear the smile in his voice as he rubbed his thumb softly over her side. She sighed and let herself sink further against him.

"See? If we didn't have to go to…Manic Mondays…we could just stay here." She whispered. He laughed again at the sarcastic tone she used for the name of the bar.

"I wouldn't mind staying here, but…you know the rest of the team wants you there. Besides, you never know, you might have fun."

Beckett made a noise in the back of her throat. It wasn't that she minded going out with everyone, but after a hard case her first reaction was to go home and curl up alone with her emotions. She had surprised herself by asking Castle to come home with her. Wanting company when she was emotional was a new thing. Now that she was laying there, half asleep in his arms, she wondered why it took her so long to realize that it was the right thing.

"You can sleep if you want to. I'll wake you up in a half an hour."

"I'd feel bad. How boring would it be to watch me sleep?"

"Not boring at all actually. I kind of enjoy seeing you so relaxed."

She smiled as he ran his hand up and down her side softly. He only moved it a few inches, never farther than what would be considered acceptable, but she could feel the heat left by his hand just the same. After a few minutes she gave up and let herself drift off to sleep.

A half an hour later, as promised, Castle woke her up by running his fingers though her hair and softly saying her name. Kate smiled up at him.

"Sleep well?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, still half asleep. She shifted her position and tucked her legs underneath her so she was still leaning on him, but she was sitting up more. "Thanks for letting me sleep."

She leaned forward and kissed him softly. He ran his hand up her back and pulled her closer, his tongue running over her bottom lip. She parted her lips slightly and pressed herself closer to him as their tongues met. She ran her hands over his shoulders and laced her fingers together behind his neck. He pulled back from their kiss and slowly kissed down the side of her neck, laughing softly as she moaned when he got to the spot where her neck met her collar bone.

"I can play that game too ya know Castle." She whispered as she softly kissed the side of his neck. He shuddered as her tongue trailed up the side of his neck and she playfully grabbed his earlobe between her teeth. He tightened his arms around her.

"Kate…" Her name came out of his throat as a low growl and she realized, as his hands trailed down her sides and came to rest on her hips, that they were coming dangerously close to a line that she wasn't ready to cross yet. She smiled as she let go of his earlobe and looked him in the eyes.

"Yes Castle?"

"If we don't go now, I have a feeling we won't be going at all."

"You're right. I'll go get ready…it will give you time to…recover."

She kissed his forehead then got up and went to her room to change. A few minutes later she came out wearing black jeans and a black, V neck top with a swirl pattern of emerald green crystals alone the neckline. The green crystal made her eyes stand out even more than they normally did. She had pulled her hair up into a loose bun and a few stray pieces hung down around her face. She had on flat, black shoes instead of her normal heels and Castle was amazing at how she could look so casual and so amazingly beautiful at the same time. Kate smiled when she saw him staring at her.

"Castle…close your mouth, you'll catch flies."

"You look…stunning."

She ducked her head, blushing.

"Thank you. You ready? We should get going, we still have to run by your place."

* * *

They walked in the door of Castle's loft and Alexis was curled up on the couch watching TV.

"Hey dad, hey Kate! Oh, you look pretty . Are you guys going on a date?"

Kate laughed and went to sit next to Alexis while Castle went to change.

"No, not a date. Everyone at the precinct is going out, Captain's orders. Its because we solved the case we were working on."

"The girl who looked like she had killed herself?"

"Yea."

"Who did it?"

Kate hesitated for a moment. Telling Alexis the truth seemed so brutal. She remembered Castle's statement about parents trying to keep their kids innocent for as long as possible. She also knew that Castle was very truthful with Alexis and the girl was much more mature than many people her age.

"It was her father." Beckett answered sadly. A look of shock crossed the girls face.

"Really?"

"Yep. It was…a rough case."

"I bet." Beckett was surprised when Alexis reached across the couch and pulled her into a hug. She smiled as she hugged her back.

"Well, that explains the random I love you text from my dad earlier. Wow…that's crazy."

"It is. Humans are hard creatures to understand sometimes."

Alexis nodded and the both turned their attention to the TV until Castle came back out of the bedroom. He had changed into black pants, a black jacket and an emerald green button up shirt that matched the crystals on Beckett's shirt perfectly. Kate looked at him and smiled.

"I'm not sure if I should be impressed, or worried, that you had the exact same shade of green as the one on my shirt."

"Impressed. Defiantly impressed. Good night Alexis." He said softly, kissing her on the top of the head as him and Beckett walked towards the door.

"Have fun you guys." She called after them as the door closed. The stood holding hands as they waited for the elevator. Castle shifted his weight from one foot to the other and Kate could tell he wanted to ask her something.

"What is it Castle?"

"Well…Alexis asked if we were going on a date, and…I was just wondering…would you…want to…sometime….go out on a date?"

Kate laughed at how nervous he was about asking her on a date.

"Castle, are you nervous about asking me on a date?" She smiled coyly as she stepped into the elevator ahead of him.

"Yea, maybe a little."

"I would love to go on a date with you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Why do you sound surprised?"

"I just wasn't sure…if you would be up for an actual date yet…I didn't want to push too soon."

She took his hand as they walked out of the elevator and towards the car.

"You're not. I accept your date invitation, just let me know when…on one condition."

"Which is?"

"You are not allowed to make some huge deal out of it and do something stupid like…take me somewhere on a private jet or something equally as huge."

"You are such a killjoy sometimes…but fine. It will be a normal date."

Kate smiled at him across the roof of the car as she opened her door to get in.

"As normal as anything gets with you I suppose."

* * *

Authors Note:

OMG I've been without internet for a week. I'm baaaaaaaaack. Sorry this update took so long. Thank you ALL for the reviews. Even if I don't mention you by name, they still make me smile.

There is one more chapter after this one. I think the next chapter is a lot of fun...it certainly was a lot of fun to write...but you'll just have to wait and see ;)

Review that made my day: **Leep**, awww I made you misty eyed? Thank you :) I'm glad my portrayal of Amber's reaction was written well enough to invoke that kind of emotion. I toyed with that scene for a while, so I'm glad I did it justice :D


	35. Chapter 35

When they walked in to Manic Mondays, the rest of the team was already there, seated at a table and the captain enthusiastically waved them over. As they weaved their way through other tables Kate looked around and decided the place wasn't all that bad. It was a cross between a bar and a mom and pop restaurant. It was comfortable, with just the right amount of edge. Posters and pictures of music and movie icons lined the walls and there was, much to Kate's annoyance, a karaoke stage in the corner.

They walked up to the round table that the rest of the group was sitting at. Castle pulled Kate's chair out for her and she sat down next to Lanie, ignoring the other womans knowing wink. Castle sat down next to her. Kate leaned over and whispered in Lanie's ear.

"Don't be winking at me and thinking that I don't notice that you are sitting a little closer than normal to Esposito."

She laughed as Lanie's eyes grew wide. They were seated around the table; Lanie, Esposito, the Captain, Ryan, Castle then Kate and Kate noticed there wasn't a spot next to Ryan.

"Jenny isn't coming?"

Ryan shook his head sadly, "No, she already had plans for the night with her mother."

"Ah."

The waitress came around and the captain ordered them all Jello shots. Kate didn't drink much, but she figured why not, its what they were there for, and ordered a pina colada. They all slipped into friendly conversation, most of which revolved around old cases. Castle joined in occasionally, but for the most part he just watched and listened. He loved listening to their stories almost as much as he loved watching the interaction between them. Despite their almost constant sarcastic banter back and forth, it was obvious that they really cared about each other.

Several rounds of jello shots and quiet a few stories later, Lanie expressed her desire to sing something on the karaoke stage.

"Come on Kate, come with me."

She giggled, grabbing Kate's arm.

"Ohhh no. I don't think so Lanie. If you want to sing, you're doing to have to fly solo."

Lanie looked around the rest of the table and everyone else shook their heads no. She crossed her arms across her chest, pouting, and shot a glare at Esposito. It didn't take him long to cave in.

"Oh, alright, fiiiiine. What are we singing?"

"I love Rock and Roll."

Kate almost spit out her drink.

"God Lanie, that is such a cliché karaoke song, while you're at it why don't you sing I've got friends in low places, or wind beneath my wings."

"Yea, not to mention it's a….girly song? I really don't want to sing about taking another guy home…" Esposito quipped. Lanie huffed at him as she stood up.

"Oh just replace the he with she, you'll be fine" Lanie responded as she stood up from the table, tugging on his arm so he would follow her. Esposito sighed.

"Come on Ryan."

"What? I never agreed to do it…."

"That's cold bro, I thought we were partners. I see how it is."

Ryan's mouth dropped open and he glared at Esposito.

"That was low…really low." He muttered as he got up from the table and followed them up to the karaoke stage.

Kate dissolved into fits of laughter as the three of them stumbled though I love Rock and Roll. They only really knew the chorus and both Ryan and Esposito loudly changed every he into she, which made Lanie laugh hysterically. Kate smiled at the three of them as they walked back to the table after the song. She loved seeing them have so much fun, they all deserved it.

"Well that was….interesting." Lanie glared playfully at her as she sat back down.

"Hey, you try singing with these two rambling off key right next to you."

"Hey, you're the one who wanted someone to sing with you." Esposito pouted."Oh, is that what that was? Singing?" Kate laughed.

"Alright, Beckett. You do it better."

"Oh no, I don't sing."

"Oh don't you lie to him girl. I've heard you belt out songs in the car or in your apartment."

Castle raised his eyebrow at Kate and smiled.

"Kate Beckett sings?"

"No, Kate Beckett does not sing."

"Oh come on, what's the matter Beckett, scared?" Ryan joined in the teasing.

"Yes Ryan, I catch killers for a living but karaoke terrifies me."

"Oh, I think Ryan hit a nerve."

Kate glared at Castle and everyone laughed.

"Come on Beckett, let your hair down, have a little fun."

Kate looked him up and down, then met his eyes and raised her eyebrow.

"Castle…do you think you could even handle it if I let my hair down?"

This brought a chorus of "oh!s" from around the table, but Kate only had eyes for Rick. Her eyes sparkled as he recognized a hint of truth in her challenge. He leaned forward, keeping his eyes locked on hers.

"Bring it." He said quietly.

Kate looked at him for a moment, then reached behind her head and pulled her hair out of its bun. She shook her head and let it slowly fall around her shoulders. It wasn't the drinks, like Lanie had said once before, she could take any of them in a drinking contest. She decided to take Lanie's advice and let go a little bit. She stood up from the table slowly.

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you."

Castle's mouth fell open as she turned towards the karaoke stage. He looked around the table and was met by the same expression from everyone else there except for Lanie. Lanie was smiling like she knew something that no one else did. Kate leaned down and spoke to the person running the karaoke for a few minutes, then stood up and smiled at them before stepping up on to the stage.

Castle, Ryan, Esposito and the Captain all tensed at the cat calls that came from the other men in the room as the spotlight hit her. Not that Castle could blame them, she was stunning. He was expecting her to sing some ballad so he was shocked when the first few chords of "Shut up and Kiss me" by Orianthi started. Kate tapped her foot to the beat and the first few lines came out hesitantly.

**You're too loud, I'm so hyper**

**On paper we're a disaster**

**And I'm driving you crazy**

**It's my little game**

Even from a distance, he could see her bite her bottom lip as she continued.

**I push you, and you push back**

**Two opposites so alike that**

**Everyday's a roller coaster**

**I'm a bump you'll never get over**

**This love (love)-hate (hate) relationship**

**You say you can't handle it**

**But there's no way to stop this now**

**So shut up and kiss me**

**Kick (kick), scream (scream) call it quits**

**But your just (just) so (so) full of it**

**Cuz it's too late, to close your mouth**

**Shut up and kiss me**

**So shut up!**

**So shut up!**

She laughed during the instrumental break when a few people cheered, then she looked up and her eyes met his as she continued.

**I call you and you pick up**

**I tell you how much I'm in love**

**I'm laughing and you get mad**

**It's my little game**

**Go ahead now, admit it**

**You like your world with me in it**

**Like a record, it's broken**

**Yeah, I'm a bump you'll never get over**

Her voice lost its hesitancy as she got to the chorus again. They all laughed as she danced to the music and belted out the chorus. Castle wasn't all that surprised that her voice was amazing. Everything else about her was, why not her voice too.

**This love (love)-hate (hate) relationship**

**You say you can't handle it**

**But there's no way to stop this now**

**So shut up and kiss me**

**Kick (kick), scream (scream) call it quits**

**But your just (just) so (so) full of it**

**Cuz it's too late, to close your mouth**

**Shut up and kiss me**

**You'd miss my lips, my kiss, my laugh**

**The riffs on my guitar**

**The way we fight, we make up fast**

**Oooooh yeah …**

There was another long instrumental break and she amused the crowd, and them, by playing air guitar before continuing.

**So shut up!**

**Love-hate, love-hate, love hate!**

She put the microphone back on its stand and walked back towards the table, still singing loud enough to be heard. Castle's mouth fell open as her eyes met his.

**Cuz it's a love (love)-hate (hate) relationship**

**You say you (you) can (can) handle it**

**But there's no way to stop this now**

**So shut up and kiss me**

She got to the table and grabbed the front of his shirt, laughing as she tugged on it until he was standing up. She sang the last verse to him, standing a few feet in front of him, and even though the whole bar was cheering, he didn't see anyone but her.

**Kick (kick), scream (scream) call it quits**

**But your just so freakin' full of it**

**Cuz it's too late, to shut your mouth**

**Shut up and kiss me**

**Just shut up and kiss me…**

The last guitar riff of the song faded into silence and the whole bar cheered and yelled. She smiled at him and winked.

"Close your mouth Castle."

He snapped his mouth shut, then stammered. "I…uh…had no idea you could…do that…"

"Just another layer to the Beckett onion."

"Yea…I just…wow…"

"Castle? Didn't you hear the song?"

"Hm?"

"Shut up…and kiss me."

He laughed and smiled at her. It was one of his Richard Castle smiles, and the look in his eyes that accompanied it made her knees week.

"Gladly."

He reached out and pulled her closer as he kissed her. It only lasted a few seconds before the broke away from each other laughing as the whole bar, including their table, broke into applause. Kate blushed bright red and took Castle's hand as they sat back down at the table. She rolled her eyes when she looked over at Lanie.

"If you smile any bigger your face is going to get stuck like that." She teased as the ME squeezed her arm. She looked around the rest of the table and Esposito, Ryan and the Captain all had similar smiles on their faces.

"What are you all smiling at?" She asked, blushing even more.

"It took you long enough!" They all answered together, which caused even more laughter.

"Well, I guess you guys know now, Castle and I are together."

"How long?" Ryan asked. Lanie cut in before Kate could answer.

"What do you mean how long? How long has he been shadowing her? Two years? That's how long. Those two were meant for each other from the beginning, it just took them forever to see it."

Kate smiled over at Castle.

"Well, it took forever for one of us to admit it, yes. But, officially, since the beginning of this case. I just…wasn't sure how to tell you guys. This isn't going to change anything at work." She continued, looking pointedly at the Captain, "I've already told him that he has to be on his best behavior."

"Like he knows what that is. I'm not worried about it Detective, I'm just glad to see you happy. And I think he's been warned enough that he knows what is in store for him if he…ends things badly with you."

"Warned?" She raised her eyebrows and looked back at Castle.

"Oh yes, they have all been very clear about what their intentions are if I hurt you. You have a group of very protective friends Kate. They care about you a lot. I have, of course, let them know that hurting you is the farthest thing from my mind." He added softly as he slipped his arm around her waist. She looked around the table and smiled.

"You guys…"

"We're your family, its our job to give him a hard time." Ryan elbowed Castle.

"I know you are."

They all smiled at each other and Kate marveled again at how right everything felt. She never really realized that anything was missing in her life until Castle had come along and all of a sudden she couldn't imagine her world without him in it. She leaned against his shoulder and tried to fight back a yawn. When she glanced at her watch she was shocked to find that it was already eleven.

"Its late, we should probably all get going." The Captain suggested. They all nodded in agreement and said their goodbyes. Castle left his arm draped around Kate's waist as they headed towards the car.

"Are you coming back home or going to your place?" He asked quietly.

She smiled at him referring to his place as her home too; she liked the sound of it.

"Lets go home Castle."

* * *

Authors Note:

So, you either loved that chapter or hated it. I had an entirely different ending in mind, but then I watched Under the Gun (Season 3, Episode 3) and Beckett mentions a karaoke stakeout…and this scene just invaded my head and would not leave. The song is called Shut up and Kiss me by Orianthi. There is a really, really cute Castle/Beckett video to it here;

/watch?v=RJqmQr5thuE (add youtube . com, without spaces, before the /)

But they don't use the whole song. The whole song is here:

/watch?v=bL0mztueFD4 (add youtube . com, without spaces, before the /)

A huge thank you to **detectivepysch** for helping me find the right song and for always being willing to read things when I got stuck J

Also a huge thank you to **Duchess of Strumpetness** and **AdoredCastle**. Without them encouraging me, this never would have been posted at all. Also to **Castletasmic**, who is always so very encouraging. My Castle friends just ROCK!

And we have come to the end. Thank you, so much, to everyone who has read this and left comments. I was very hesitant about posting this at all, and you guys have made it so worth it. Its been a lot of fun. I am writing a sequel to this, so keep an eye out for it ;)


	36. The Sequel: Breaking Point

For those of you not on author alert, but who want to read the sequel, it is posted now

Breaking Point

People have breaking points. So do relationships. When an emotional case hits close to home will Castle push his relationship with Beckett too far? Or just far enough?

This story starts during Knockdown. I re tell the episode some so it fits my version of their relationship.

This story starts with a lot of fluff, but I promise you, there is a point, and there will be a case ;)

Just a teaser, hope to "see you there".

For those of you who thought this was more to Go Home Castle, sorry! I just wanted to let people know the sequel was up!

~Sky


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